If you are not sure about these, imagine you are in a strange country and all your status had been removed. Which of the four would you feel most aggrieved at being without?
Are you worried most if they
1) fail to treat you with respect, belittling your words etc.
2) responding to you as a different personality type inauthenticating your self (e.g. treating you like a salesman, artist, office clerk, writer, professor, computer nerd, dope fiend, waiter, back door fornicator or whatever you feel contrary to your own image)
3) accusing you of being rigid and not flexible, not adaptable
4) accusing using you of not sticking to your guns, being fickle
Which one would actually disturb you or stress you out the most?
The idea is to try and get to your underlying personality rather than the masquerade imposed for social and economic reasons and family responsibilities.