What if people thought of you as an estp-type of person or an intj-person trying to get you in cubes of thoughts that you do not really fit in? Maybe you seem like you have a lot of testosterone in your body and sometimes seem neurotic and therefore you get missunderstood as an estp or a sort of unhealthy subtype? Or maybe you get missunderstood as an intj because some people dont like how you sometimes or rarely speak your mind unless being asked a question and then give an answer that feels like an attack on the other person, unhealthy subtype of intj?
Well i do get the feeling about it and since 99,99% of our population dont know about enneagrams or carl jung or mbti thats how it gonna stay, i believe.
Although i know the real problem lies within myself. And im not trying to be a narcissisist about it, at least not consciously, but i really do want to understand myself better and fix whatever issues im having. I have a medical diagnosis: psychosis (i think thats the correct english word for it) and that cripples me a bit in everyday life. First i am constantly tired even with medication and i cant sort out what im thinking. Whenever someone ask me a question i often dont understand the question or i cant pay attention or lacking in focus. This is extremely difficult when i go to a therapist or trying to do simple homework in school. And chores at home i actually put up on because my lack of organizing everyday life.
Ive seen videos of people having psychosis and i can relate a little although i know that when i think of people talking behind my back or they have a secret pact watching me i can understand that i dont feel so good. But i feel powerless of my own thoughts and mood.
I just wish there was a god that could save me but i feel ashamed, o, so ashamed of my behaviours. And i do get the feeling that other people or inherently angry at me and i personally dont feel trust to anyone in the world anymore.