I used to have no doubt in my Fe-ness, until my mum said this to me (and I have to say I do agree with her)- I told her about how my friends and I were discussing about who would get married first out of the bunch, and they said I'd be the second (after my IXFP friend, who will probably get married at 18 and divorce when she's 19 xD), and she said this:
"I can see why people would think that you will be the first to marry, but really I don't think you'll get married so fast. In all your life, I've never seen you in love. You don't fall in love. I think if you will fall in love, it would take time until you actually realize you're in love, and you're a bit idealistic about this, you won't marry for nothing unless it's out of love. But the thing is, you're controlled more by reason, and not feelings. Even your emotions are repressed my logic!"
And this brought me back into thinking I am an EXTJ, a while, while back when I just started to learn MBTI. I'll tell you what: I am conflict avoidant, I think of the wellfare of the group, I like helping people, I am a diplomat and when people are being selfish and impolite it's really annoying me. I am crazily polite and I am very nice, I care about making a good first impressuion. However, on the inside I don't feel much, I'm not good with taking care of someone's physical needs, I'm strict with the rules (to a fault), people who are stupid and lazy also annoys me to no end, I care about efficiency, I am very motivated, I don't fall in love and used to be quite of a cold person (until the last few years).
So all i'm asking, are there any EXFJs who can relate or should I try finding a different type?