Cold Fe doms?

[Xander]

Interestingly, Jung groups types by I/E first, then by P/J (ie or rational and irrational). He doesn't group the Thinking types and Feeling types separately, and he doesnt define one as more rational.

The best description I ever experienced was by an old poster here.
Why would I do something which I didn't feel was right? It wouldn't stop my feelings to know it is complying with some external system such as logic so in those cases where it harms no one else I will follow my values and my feelings. It's the sensible choice.
. Rationale can be based on many things and logic is no paragon of righteousness or objectivity. All systems fall foul of the rule of 'bullshit in, bullshit out'.

 

[á´…eparted]

Fe types were shown to not be experiencing emotion when speaking with strong expressions of value and perhaps even appearing to be using emotion in their face, hands, etc.

Can confirm this is the case with me. I am constantly expressing and sharing things that appears to be heavily emotional, when in reality there isn't much behind it in comparison to what could be. The purpose of it is for effect and to get a point across (though I don't consciously decide to do this, it just happens).

When I feel strong emotions my ability (and in some cases desire) to speak and express goes down quite a bit. If it's strong enough I'll just externally shut off.

 

[Cellmold]

I used to argue and defend the cognitive functions idea, but I realised a while back just how flimsy it actually is.

They are often described in a way that let's them fit across contexts, but now the butter is too thin and the bread is flavourless because context also informs a lot of information as well. A man on fire is likely to be screaming louder than a man who has cut his finger.

Which is why it's often the case that it's suggested that the individual is the only one who can know his/her type, which then becomes a matter of awareness. But even that is iffy as often people tend towards vibes and impressions as they are instinctive and immediate, yet that doesn't make them accurate.

Hm this is off topic. Yah Fe can be frigid!

 

[Hitoshi-San]

I consider myself unemotional but not exactly cold. Like I still care about people but I don't get worked up and freaked out ever. Some people probably think I'm a psychopath or something because I never cry or feel sad when I know I should......

I do experience positive emotions very intensely and used to be sort of an angry person though.

 

[Showbread]

I really don't relate to much of this at all. I suppose I could come off cold because I can turn my empath on and off pretty effectively, I do a good job staying objective when other people express strong emotions. And I DEFINITELY talk with my hands a lot.

Sometimes I feel like my emotional responses to things don't make a lot of sense, which drives me CRAZY. I have a pretty formed and categorized idea for how I should feel in certain situations and when my emotions don't match it majorly throws me off. I tend to stay cool in actual stressful situations/potential crises. I'm good at thinking on my feet. But minor personal dilemmas destroy me. It's almost easier for me to make decisions when the outcome impacts others heavily because there seems to be a set right/wrong answer.

 

[EJCC]

^ [MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] That "turning my empath on and off" thing is a big part of what I was talking about before. I can't do that. I have no idea how people do that.

Same with the need for your feelings to be rational -- I tend to just see all emotions as irrational and to be annoyed by their presence for that reason. Getting better about seeing them as indicators, though. Warning signs relating to something external or internal that needs to change.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I really don't relate to much of this at all. I suppose I could come off cold because I can turn my empath on and off pretty effectively, I do a good job staying objective when other people express strong emotions. And I DEFINITELY talk with my hands a lot.

Sometimes I feel like my emotional responses to things don't make a lot of sense, which drives me CRAZY. I have a pretty formed and categorized idea for how I should feel in certain situations and when my emotions don't match it majorly throws me off. I tend to stay cool in actual stressful situations/potential crises. I'm good at thinking on my feet. But minor personal dilemmas destroy me. It's almost easier for me to make decisions when the outcome impacts others heavily because there seems to be a set right/wrong answer.

This provides a nice contrast with what I'll call my Fi experience. Besides social pressure, which I am not totally immune to, I don't really feel like I should feel a certain way. I mean, I may be aware of if, but I don't see the fault in how I feel, which simply IS, like the sky being blue. Rather, the emotional experience tells me what things mean, and then I can decide what to do with that meaning, generally by seeing how it relates to other things (giving it proportion, etc). When there is a gap with this and how one "should" feel socially, then I tend to resent the social standard. I will see it as being in denial of the human experience - "out of touch" so to speak. Most of my inner conflict is when I cannot reconcile my own emotional experience with my own previously determined ideals, values, etc - things I consider truths about the human experience.

As an introvert, I am less likely to question the reality of the inner experience though (even as there may be conflict in its parts), so that it has even greater validity than the shared external experience, which looks like play-acting to me. But neither is the whole reality....

This is an extremely common attitude people will note in Fi types, although unfortunately it gets dismissed as childish. What's really going on is that the inner world is the context being used to define and give proportion to the emotional experience, and this resistance to outside influence also means a purity is maintained, so that the truth of the human experience is not lost to social protocol.

 

[great_bay]

Is cold Fe-doms an oxymoron? They're usually atune to what's socially appropriate. I always get condemned by Fe-doms for smiling enough or acting nice. If there are cold-Fe doms, they might be a minority.

 

[Harizu]

My mother is a Fe-dom and she can be pretty cold at times, and a lot towards strangers.
She says it's something she developed as a "shield" later in life and that she wasn't like this when she was younger.