User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 21

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    25

    Default INTx expressing feelings?

    Hi there

    I've always scored INTJ with the occasional INTP result. A common pattern between the two is the difficulty in expressing emotions or the seemingly cold attitude and the high amount of importance and relevance given to logic and rationality and that is true for me as well.

    However, there is a person for whom I express my feelings very well. It's a girl I've always loved and she gets all the repressed affection that I haven't given to anyone for years. I'd spend days cuddling together and kissing her and protecting her and in no way I would neglect her needs. I didn't think I would have said this, but she's the most important person in my life. She made me understand that I can actually care for someone else other than me.

    However, I keep reading that INTx types do not show/express their feelings even when in a relationship, so I was wondering if perhaps I'm not an INTx but rather an INFx whose F got frozen, repressed, forgotten and shitted to the ground in favor of my T and is now emerging from the abyss, stronger than ever. I am 100% sure of the I and N letters, and I was also certain of the T (97% well), but this difference I have with the other INTx made me wonder if I could actually be a repressed F type.

    How come many other INTx seem to neglect their loved one? How can they ignore them or not want to hug them 24/7? I'm sure the girl I love doesn't feel not loved. She's the only one who is allowed to see this side of me.

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    First bit of advice: Be yourself. It doesn't really matter what your MBTI is, you seem to know who you are and are acting accordingly. So don't be tempted to let MBTI change how you respond.

    But in terms of classification, I note your very last comment:

    She's the only one who is allowed to see this side of me.
    Being more emotionally vulnerable in a few key relationships behind the scenes sounds typical for any human being regardless of type. INTx's are not robots. I can sound kind of clinical in my daily relationships, but when I'm in a romantic relationship it gets much more vulnerable and intimate (with spontaneous shows of affection) even if I still can be detached at times in the relationship. Sometimes I wonder about myself, seeing how I can act in a private intimate relationship, since I'm tapping into parts of me that normally don't get accessed as much.

    If the behavior is more pervasive across a variety of relationships, then perhaps it would be more indicative of something IMO.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
    Likes Cellmold liked this post

  3. #3
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    9,745

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by black View Post
    However, I keep reading that INTx types do not show/express their feelings even when in a relationship, so I was wondering if perhaps I'm not an INTx but rather an INFx whose F got frozen, repressed, forgotten and shitted to the ground in favor of my T and is now emerging from the abyss, stronger than ever. I am 100% sure of the I and N letters, and I was also certain of the T (97% well), but this difference I have with the other INTx made me wonder if I could actually be a repressed F type.

    How come many other INTx seem to neglect their loved one? How can they ignore them or not want to hug them 24/7? I'm sure the girl I love doesn't feel not loved. She's the only one who is allowed to see this side of me.
    The bolded is a bunch of shit. I do hug my ENFJ all the time, our kids, etc. Don't go off thinking you're not an INTJ just because you love someone and show it.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
    Likes Cygnus, Showbread liked this post

  4. #4
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Being more emotionally vulnerable in a few key relationships behind the scenes sounds typical for any human being regardless of type. INTx's are not robots.
    I can attest to this as well. I would add that, though INTx's are perfectly capable of showing considerable affection and intimacy in their closest relationships, our manner of doing so is often unusual. Hugging, cuddling, and physical affection and wanting to care for someone you love are pretty universal, but look at how you care, exactly what you do and say to express it. When other people (other types) are expecting other forms of expression, that can contribute to the stereotype of us being uniformly bad with intimacy and relationships.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #5
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Caring for others has little to do with type.

    All NTs have a warm and fuzzy side. The ones who profess not to are usually more stringent about who they show it to, emotionally wounded or talking bs probably to score some daft points on some imaginary leaders board.

    I've read a number of posts where people claim to be an NT because they are cold and have great logic... Thing is many NFs (especially male) will also claim great logic as they feel threatened by the whole scale being jacketed in maleness (which it shouldn't be).

    On a separate point, you're probably an INTP with a stronger environment for planning. I'm told that it's more common for a P to test as a J than vice versa. Js tend to be more resolute and Ps just flex to accommodate.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  6. #6
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,504

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    First bit of advice: Be yourself. It doesn't really matter what your MBTI is, you seem to know who you are and are acting accordingly. So don't be tempted to let MBTI change how you respond.

    But in terms of classification, I note your very last comment:



    Being more emotionally vulnerable in a few key relationships behind the scenes sounds typical for any human being regardless of type. INTx's are not robots. I can sound kind of clinical in my daily relationships, but when I'm in a romantic relationship it gets much more vulnerable and intimate (with spontaneous shows of affection) even if I still can be detached at times in the relationship. Sometimes I wonder about myself, seeing how I can act in a private intimate relationship, since I'm tapping into parts of me that normally don't get accessed as much.

    If the behavior is more pervasive across a variety of relationships, then perhaps it would be more indicative of something IMO.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I can attest to this as well. I would add that, though INTx's are perfectly capable of showing considerable affection and intimacy in their closest relationships, our manner of doing so is often unusual. Hugging, cuddling, and physical affection and wanting to care for someone you love are pretty universal, but look at how you care, exactly what you do and say to express it. When other people (other types) are expecting other forms of expression, that can contribute to the stereotype of us being uniformly bad with intimacy and relationships.
    Agreed with all the above posters. I have come to the conclusion that there are two ingredients to the INTJ approach to romance, which has led to the robotic stereotype. Well, OK, let's throw in a third.

    The first is that (along with, say, INFPs), INTJs seem to take a long time to ripen, to become mature. Their maturity and ability to handle interpersonal relationships fraught with emotion, often lags by a considerable interval, the stirrings of sexual attraction. So it may often happen that an INTJ may ricochet painfully through a couple of relationships (even more so than the average clueless teenager); but more important, the type of errors they make, and their reserve, help create a "cold-hearted" reputation, which is not warranted once the INTJ grows up to their own potential.

    The second is that INTJs tend to live life according to "management by exception" and to be stingier with praise than with [what they consider to to be] *constructive criticism*. Compared to many other types, who may be more effusive with their romantic sweet nothings, the INTJ may appear dour and hard-to-please.

    And of course, the third is the legendary INTJ death stare...
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,545

    Default

    ^ Um, I kind of like that death stare. It makes me feel like saying, "I'll see you that Ni glare and raise you..." Totally brings out the little dare devil in me, hehe, not to mention, the prankster.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14
    Likes uumlau liked this post

  8. #8
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    The main difference between INTx's and others isn't that we don't love/care for people. It's that we lack both skill and nuance. Humans are extremely complex, and INTx types approach the human side of things in very simple, black-and-white terms.

    There is a huge fractal world of human experience, and sharing affection with only one person hides almost all of that from you. It's when you learn to open up (gradually, not completely) to other people in your life, that you learn how to handle people in general, to navigate them in all their fractal complexity. And the love/caring you share with other people teaches you how to even better treat the one special person in your life about whom you care so very deeply.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
    Likes grey_beard, Opal liked this post

  9. #9
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,504

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    ^ Um, I kind of like that death stare. It makes me feel like saying, "I'll see you that Ni glare and raise you..." Totally brings out the little dare devil in me, hehe, not to mention, the prankster.
    Prankster? PRANKSTER??!! ( @grey_beard, runs and hides, closing blinds behind him.)

    There, I'm safe. Now you can't see me.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    The main difference between INTx's and others isn't that we don't love/care for people. It's that we lack both skill and nuance. Humans are extremely complex, and INTx types approach the human side of things in very simple, black-and-white terms.

    There is a huge fractal world of human experience, and sharing affection with only one person hides almost all of that from you. It's when you learn to open up (gradually, not completely) to other people in your life, that you learn how to handle people in general, to navigate them in all their fractal complexity. And the love/caring you share with other people teaches you how to even better treat the one special person in your life about whom you care so very deeply.
    Just D@mn, but you're right...
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  10. #10
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    The main difference between INTx's and others isn't that we don't love/care for people. It's that we lack both skill and nuance. Humans are extremely complex, and INTx types approach the human side of things in very simple, black-and-white terms.

    There is a huge fractal world of human experience, and sharing affection with only one person hides almost all of that from you. It's when you learn to open up (gradually, not completely) to other people in your life, that you learn how to handle people in general, to navigate them in all their fractal complexity. And the love/caring you share with other people teaches you how to even better treat the one special person in your life about whom you care so very deeply.
    Depends upon your obsession actually. An INTP who's area of interest is people can do quite well at the subtlety.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

Similar Threads

  1. ENFP expressing feelings, Fi vs Fe?
    By goldy in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 06-30-2016, 10:01 AM
  2. [MBTItm] YOUR Song Expressing YOUR Feelings Today
    By Winds of Thor in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-26-2009, 09:45 AM
  3. [MBTItm] YOUR Song Expressing YOUR Feelings Today
    By Winds of Thor in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-25-2009, 04:37 PM
  4. [MBTItm] list five things about you that you feel best express your infjness
    By the state i am in in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-26-2009, 08:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO