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Introverted and Extroverted dating preferences.

Which is you in regards to dating and attraction?

  • I'm an extravert, and prefer introverts

    Votes: 5 14.3%
  • I'm an extravert, and prefer extraverts.

    Votes: 5 14.3%
  • I'm an introvert, and prefer extraverts.

    Votes: 9 25.7%
  • I'm an introvert and prefer introverts.

    Votes: 16 45.7%

  • Total voters
    35

JAVO

.
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
9,178
MBTI Type
eNTP
I'm an ambivert, and I don't have any strong preferences for any type-related preferences, except for sx due to the mutual desire for a deep connection.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
I'm pretty selfish.. so I prefer introverts. Introverts rarely tire me out (though they *occasionally* annoy me with their wussy 'ooh I need to rest you just doooont understand waah' attitudes sometimes) and so I usually don't get bogged down at all in the relationship. When I want to be tired, I get to be tired (and usually they're overly grateful for the reprise) and when I want to be loud, I can either leave them at home (no jealous drama because they choose to chill) or they'll usually just put up with me being loud at something loud. :)

And since I have a TON of friends, I don't mind giving them their space because I'm usually cramming my schedule full of shit I can't even try to finish anyways.. so I'll be talking to friends, looking for the new place to travel to, sorting out new hobbies, local events, party planning, working out, etc.. so they can kind of just float in and out as they need to.. I don't get offended if they don't feel like coming out with me and stuff.. I usually only demand attention on holidays and important shit that happens anyways.

Usually it's the introvert that's seeing stars by the end of the day from the whirlwind of shit I throw at them.. which doesn't bother me at all if they can handle it. If they're dating me in the first place, chances are they can hang.


The ONLY thing is .. if the relationship is serious, I want to talk to that person. Like. All the time. It can be a bit frowny-faced when that person is just sick of me and wants to be alone because it's really difficult to not take that personally because.. well.. I don't really get sick of people. It's foreign to me. Not people I like enough to be with long term in the first place anyways. I'm still like a kid.. I want to hang out with the same friends, and go on adventures, and call and talk and gossip and chit chat and play. When I'm with someone, they become like the ultimate bestie friend to do that stuff with. This isn't actually going to make things a deal breaker unless they're stupid-introverted to the point they won't function in a i-live-with-them setting.
 

BadOctopus

Suave y Fuerte
Joined
Oct 9, 2014
Messages
3,232
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
With me, it all comes down to a question of energy. Extroverts tend toward being more high energy and more talkative than introverts. As much as I like extroverts, I can't be around them for long, before I start feeling overwhelmed and drained.

Also, most of the extroverts I know have difficulty understanding my need for occasional solitude. Even if I tell them it's not personal, and that I really just need to be alone or I'll have a meltdown, they take it personally anyway. They think I'm turning down their company because I suddenly don't like them anymore. Introverts, on the other hand, understand and respect that need for personal space.

Please don't be offended, extroverts. I like you. I just can't see myself being in a long-term relationship with you.
 

Raffaella

bon vivant
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
945
I'm attracted to extroverts but I'm more comfortable with introverts.

I'm an introvert who generally prefers introverts, but I could handle a low-key extrovert (like possibly an ENFJ)

Wait, are ENFJs low-key extroverts? I've always considered them the opposite.
 

small.wonder

So she did.
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
965
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I am overtly attracted to more extreme Extraverts (;) thanks for the spelling edification [MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION]), but also am aware that may be because I'm not a "hermit like" introvert. Actually, once I meet and engage with people they sometimes question my introversion-- I chalk it up to Sx/So though.

I think the reason I'm drawn to Extraverts is because I really love people who just come right up to me and directly introduce themselves, or say hi if they already know me. I'm told I can be socially intimidating b/c I'm a bit aloof, so that kind of approach is more than welcome. Also, because I'm not conflict averse, I'm really comfortable telling Extraverts in my life when I need space. I am not easily bowled over or swayed by "Awww, just come do this one more thing." I also think I'm adventurous enough that once I need a break, it's not a big deal to them.

The only introverts so far I've found iresistably attractive are 8's. Without the intensity factor, I just get bored. I generally feel like introverts who show interest in me need me to be their Mommy. :/ Not trying to stereotype, it's just been my experience.

I actually think a lot of what's been described here as introverted is highly flavored by Sp. I was on vacation for a week over New Year's, and while at the beach did a lot of reading on instinctual variants and discussing with a friend of mine (who is also introverted Sx/So). Since I've been home, I've been recognizing that stuff so much more IRL. It's amazing. I have a good friend who is a Sp/Sx 1 Introvert and she's more the "shut myself in the closet" type (like [MENTION=7]Jennifer[/MENTION] mentioned), whereas my vacation friend and I drove from Chicago to Southwest Florida no questions asked, straight through the night, talked the whole way and had fun!

Instincts people, they matter! ;) Even what [MENTION=4939]kyuuei[/MENTION] mentioned about significant others that don't want to talk, adventure, and play all the time-- I see those characters as much more Sp first. Heck, I even know Sx last Extraverts who are really uncomfortable with one-on-one conversation for long periods of time (even if it's out and about and while doing things, which becomes like, "uh huh, uh huh. Hey look at that!"). :shrug:
 
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Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm attracted to extroverts but I'm more comfortable with introverts.

Wait, are ENFJs low-key extroverts? I've always considered them the opposite.

I've seen them regularly referred to as introverted extroverts. One of my best friends here is an ENFJ, and I wasn't sure what she was for awhile because she was so low-key. (I guess I've known three in real life, on both sides of the gender divide, and they were low-key but involved with everyone.) Most of the other types of extroverts, I find I can't typically handle a lot of... too much E.

But of course you will have individuals all across the board.
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
...

I actually think a lot of what's been described here as introverted is highly flavored by Sp. I was on vacation for a week over New Year's, and while at the beach did a lot of reading on instinctual variants and discussing with a friend of mine (who is also introverted Sx/So). Since I've been home, I've been recognizing that stuff so much more IRL. It's amazing. I have a good friend who is a Sp/Sx 1 Introvert and she's more the "shut myself in the closet" type (like [MENTION=7]Jennifer[/MENTION] mentioned), whereas my vacation friend and I drove from Chicago to Southwest Florida no questions asked, straight through the night, talked the whole way and had fun!

Instincts people, they matter! ;) Even what [MENTION=4939]kyuuei[/MENTION] mentioned about significant others that don't want to talk, adventure, and play all the time-- I see those characters as much more Sp first. Heck, I even know Sx last Extraverts who are really uncomfortable with one-on-one conversation for long periods of time (even if it's out and about and while doing things, which becomes like, "uh huh, uh huh. Hey look at that!"). :shrug:

I'm an SP/SX, but I'm also extraverted and being 4 makes me seem to run counter to the SP M.O. My good friend is an INFP SP/SX 4, he's totally game for adventure, but I have to occasionally have to prod him forward mid-journey. And other times I have to put the breaks on to keep from getting into situations driven by him that would eventually involve being dumped in a ditch somewhere. The relationship feels parental, which is fine for friends, but it would definitely not be my bag for a romantic relationship.

I supposed there are so many factors involved, that from what I can figure for my own purposes, preferring Introverts vs Extraverts all comes down to how much is shown in the surface really, and how often they may want to come out and play. When I get to know somebody, I'm a decently good reader. And I'm cool with downtime. So, I guess it doesn't really mater.
 

_eric_

New member
Joined
Oct 8, 2012
Messages
285
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm an introvert, and have only ever been attracted to other introverts, most especially INFPs. My only relationship so far was with an INFP, and that lasted for 3 years.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I discarded my preferences. Because that which you prefer is rarily good for you.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
At the risk of being the one who comes a month late, I'm going to get back to you on this. Been busy.

OK, now I don't know much about dating. Not enough to know my preferences regarding introversion and extroversion.

Basically, the other person's gotta be outgoing enough to take the initiative, because I never will. That doesn't mean "must be an extrovert" because I'm an extrovert and I don't take the initiative since my rejection is all but guaranteed in my mind. That and I'm old and I don't want my weaknesses to show. But that's another can of worms.

That being said, I hate when other people decide to tell me that I'm not outgoing enough, that I need to change my ways, that all I have to do to reach enlightenment is just to fall on two knees and BE JUST LIKE THEM. It insults my personality, not so subtly. So extreme extroverts, who can't accept the fact that not everyone wants to hyper-active outgoing, are not for me. (Yes, those people exist, because they bugged me throughout my youth, not a straw man here).

That's all, hope it helps.
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2008
Messages
2,706
MBTI Type
ZNTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm an ambivert so I like how strong introverts make me feel more extraverted :D

And yes, extravert is the right spelling. Or, at least, it was the first spelling.

I'm surprised at all the attraction here to the same preference.... I know a few very happy E/E and I/I couples, but E/I couples are definitely the norm.
 

great_bay

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
987
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
541
I prefer to date extroverts. I need to be in a relationship with somebody who is different than me.
 

great_bay

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
987
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
541
Here's a question for extroverts. How do you guys react when your introvert partners asks for alone time and doesn't want to hang out.
 
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