I am either an INFJ with low scores on feeling, or INTJ with low scores on thinking or possibly an INFP. I know there is a huge difference between those. Im trying to find my way out of this mess. My enneagram type is either 4w5 or 5w4.
I feel emotions, but not all the time. Im not always aware of how i feel inside. I live in my head quite a lot. I am not expressive. My failures in Art and Music, clearly show my lack of expressive capabilities. I want to express myself, but i can't. If only i could translate my thoughts into words people understand.. I am quite.. Well, my past wasn't good, i always think about it, mainly the mistakes i make. i can't seem to change anything as of now due to my identity crisis and intense apathy. In terms of My physical structure, well, I've always found it humorous how i could observe other people but remain completely unaware of my physical attributes. Emotions are felt yes, inside. i rarely express them, i actually only express them when I'm around others as i don't wish to hurt them by coming off as insensitive. I am detached, but emotional. I love incorporation emotions in my art, but they tire me. My Fe is high, well, basically, i feel enough to actually confuse myself with being a 5 and a 4. The problem is the core. My core is unknown. I noticed a lot of 4w5 and 5w4 tend to get lost between their cores. Possibly temporarily unaware of their core, whether they're a 4 or 5. Basically, i can come off as a 5, but also as a 4. I seem to be an F dominant. Im just not sure if Fe is better than Fi. Ive read that INFJs doubt their type naturally, but there doesn't seem to be any sort of.. strong foundation backing fact that up. Hence, the title. Do feel free to ask me questions if you are willing to help me with this complexity. I appreciate your replies, if any.