Falling faster from the sky.

[BlakeUndefined]

hey,

you know, I've been naturally drawn to art since i was a kid. Unfortunately i gave up at a young age due to unforeseen circumstances.

Im trying to revive "the creator" thats deep inside. I want to share. Share something, i don't know how to describe it, something like a message. A.. visual quote. Truth.

Being a really unhealthy 4w5, i have a lot on my mind. A lot. Identity issues mainly. INFP, INFJ. The tests say I'm an INFJ, some people say that too. Some say I'm an INFP, based on my writing. I Understand there is a huge difference between the INFP and INFJ types. Im no writer at heart. I never expressed myself. I tend to sugarcoat things when I'm talking to people but not anymore. Nowadays I'm mistaken for an thinking type, but i know I'm feeling dominant. Fe an Fi are almost the same in strength, I'm just not sure which is really more. It has something to do with gaining knowledge and knowing that i can come off as any type based on the knowledge, and because i look for certainty, A fixed answer, i get lost with the knowledge. The knowledge overlaps my sense of being. I don't know how else to say this.

The main thing is this: When i try to create something again. I know i look for beauty and theres always a message i wish to send out. I wish to add emotion to it. My emotion, but by doing that i realise that i get more depressed. Those emotions hit me harder than my brush upon the canvas. Depression to me is not wet nor dry. Its like Mud. Its Thick, wet all around and dry on the inside. Hopelessness fills me up and i drown in my own art. Heck, i would hang myself up in a museum as a form of self expression, but that is.. a dry joke. Anyway. I focus more on the external due to the war within. All my creations end up getting destroyed. Incinerated by my emotions and i start an ongoing loop of self loathing and uselessness. I feel that at times i have nothing to give to the world. I don't belong here. I was given life, a gift, art and, to me i felt that i had to give something back. Something, With the skills I've been given and with the gratefulness from my heart. I am defying myself, my natural flow. I can feel it. I know it.

Id like to your your views on art, expression and purpose..

 

[Occam's Chainsaw]

Those emotions hit me harder than my brush upon the canvas.

I was always taught soft, smooth strokes. Your technique might need some revision.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

Id like to your your views on art, expression and purpose..

The purpose of art has changed over the eons.

In pre-tribal art, the purpose of art was religious. To capture the likeness of a person or beast was to capture its spirit and control it. Hence totems and pictures of buffalos in caves.

With the onset of civilization and organized religion, the purpose of art became about "portraying the world as it is": Portrait artists captured a likeness of a powerful patron on canvas so that others could see how he looked at his zenith. Literature started with the travelogue: Writers traveled to faraway lands and brought back stories of exotic climates and cultures. Hence, the concept of "romance": the French word for novel is "roman"; a story-teller is a "romancier." Or the
English word "novel," which is connected to the concept of "novelty."

More recently, with the development of photography, suddenly artists and writers were no longer celebrated for their ability to "portray the world as it is." The camera could do that far better than any human. So exoticness and romance had to come from a new quarter: From the interior of the artist himself. It had to come from renditions of the artist's own feelings or sensations. Or it had to come from a rearranging of external things according to a private vision that was inside the artist himself. Hence things like Impressionism: "This is *my* impression of how the world looks." When art comes from inside oneself, the camera can't compete; it can't capture those things.

But it's hard on the artist. It's difficult to reach down inside and keep finding novelty and exoticness. As they say, there's nothing new under the sun. Some artists kill themselves for their art, driving themselves to extremes trying to find novelty in excess, drink, drugs.

Anyway, my advice about being an artist comes in the form of two ideas that I always keep in mind concerning art:

1) If you find it tough to dig down deep inside and find true art, don't beat yourself up over it. Some people are going to be better about plumbing around inside themselves and finding something there. Typology has a lot to say on that subject. In any case, art wasn't always about what's found inside. That's just where art has gotten stuck for the moment.

2) The one universal truth about art is that art is entertainment. It has to entertain: there has to be an audience. Without an audience, it's the ultimate tree-falling-in-a-forest: If no one appreciates it, it didn't happen. Ultimately there's not much that separates Beethoven from vaudeville or slapstick comedy. They're all just entertainers.

So don't kill yourself over it. Yeah, humanity needs art. But there's plenty of it out there, so it's not that big a deal. People like to croon over the latest big artistic prodigy, but artists come and go. It's really not that big a deal. It's just entertainment. People like to be entertained, but it's not worth killing yourself trying to prove you can do it better than every other artist out there.

 

[BlakeUndefined]

I was always taught soft, smooth strokes. Your technique might need some revision.

lol it was a figure of speech.

 

[Mole]

It seems to me we can make art or we can let art make us.

Letting art make us brings on fear - fear of losing control.

So let go and feel the fear.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

It seems to me we can make art or we can let art make us.

Letting art make us brings on fear - fear of losing control.

So let go and feel the fear.

If I could stick a knife in my heart
Suicide right on stage
Would it be enough for your teenage lust
Would it help to ease the pain? Ease your brain?

If I could dig down deep in my heart
Feelings would flood on the page
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would ya think the boy's insane? He's insane

I know it's only rock 'n roll
But I like it
I said I know it's only rock 'n roll
But I like it, like it,
Yes, I do