My sister, a psychology major, is an ENFJ. She has tested as such every time she has been tested.
She recently began doing her internship at my martial arts school. On Monday nights we offer a Tai Chi class and my sister stays late to participate in the class. My good friend, an INFP, also attends the classes.
My INFP friend and my sister have spoken on occasion before and after class, but there is always this sense that they come from two entirely different worlds.
My INFP friend complains that my sister talks too much.
My sister complains that my INFP friend is nit-picky over "weird stuff that nobody pays attention to anyway." Still, they manage to be civil to one another and have even had some fairly long conversations. Afterwards, my sister always tells me that my friend is "weird", to which I reply, yes, but she is an honest and good friend to me.
Around Thanksgiving I purchased a love seat to sit in a corner somewhere so that students could relax during our breaks between classes. I charged my sister with the task of finding an aesthetically pleasing and practical location. She found a place she liked so that's where the seat sits. This Monday, after Tai Chi, my INFP friend looked around the room and says, "That seat doesn't need to be sitting there. It blocks the energy flow. And those trophies are arranged wrong. Everybody knows taller stuff goes in the middle and shorter stuff goes on the ends."
INFP friend continued on for a bit, suggesting that the seat be moved and the trophies rearranged. My sister straightened like she was about to rear back and spit tacks."I sat on that seat right beside Rxxx [grandmaster] Sunday and my energy was flowing just fine. If there was any negative energy around that seat, he wouldn't have sat in it."
The exchange went on for several minutes. My sister left and my friend proceeded to talk more about the seat. So, I moved it and it was not pleasing to me. It looked awkward; she loved it, but I told her we had to move it back, because I just couldn't stand to look at it that way. I told her that she had a good point about the energy and that I would probably rearrange later, that I had to mull it over a bit and see what I could come up with. She liked that idea and suggested some curtain ideas. We left on a pleasant note.
The next day, my sister said, "That woman gets under my skin. She's the most negative person I ever met." My ISTP partner was there then so he asked her what she was talking about. He looked at me and grinned his lopsided grin. He KNEW what was coming. He literally snickered as she began to recount the encounter, he grinned wider and finally, he laughed. And then I laughed, too, and I couldn't hardly stop because all of a sudden the whole thing, their body language, their tones, and especially, their looks at one another, were absolutely hilarious.
So, my point in telling you all this is to say, that I love watching different types interact. My sister will be fine. My friend will be fine. And I am sure I can count on future disagreements from them and I can count on my partner to keep it all in perspective for me.
So, maybe you've encountered type "conflicts" before. I know this was a type conflict because it was like Fi and Fe were throwing invisible darts at each other. My INFP friend was concerned about the way it felt to her. My sister was concerned about the way it looked to the public.