@<a href="http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/members/5999.html" target="_blank">PeaceBaby</a> & others kind of beat me to a point I was typing up....but I'm posting it anyway.
This post here is not embodying what I am going to bring up, but it does show how we tend to think of our own way/view as "right" and something else as being "obviously wrong", when, well, it may not be objective at all. You touch on this also, but the wording exemplifies an ESTJ view better than Peacebaby's does.
And now, my novella:
From my viewpoint, ESTJs' inferior Fi can lead them to assert their personal preferences as a moral/ethical standard. In order to accept & fulfill their own personal feelings, their psychology “converts” it into an objectively correct model, and they will go to impressive lengths to back this up with “facts” and “logic”. So much of it is preference for what they are familiar and experienced with (Si). It really has no moral value. An illustration of this is how countries in the past would colonize other lands and degrade the colonized land as “less civilized” because the colonialists had set up their experience of life and their preferences as “normal” and even as more moral.
This is something many SJs demonstrate in their attitudes, but it’s scariest in ESTJs because they make good arguments for it. They convince and lead others with this thinking. They convince themselves this is “for their own good” too, effectively dismissing those who do not comply as being rebellious in a self-destructive way.
I suppose I feel I see through this and recognize they are veiling personal preferences with objective rules that force others to conform.
I feel this “rebelliousness” or “bad attitude” projected onto me and that is what I find hurtful and what makes me angry.
I can deal with moods in people - irritability, snappiness, bluntness - that’s fine. What bothers me is the polite, composed demeanor of someone who is ramming others into a mold that is totally arbitrary, but it’s under the guise of “this is THE best way and anyone who doesn’t fit it is a degenerate”.