@OrangeAppled You said everything I wanted to say making it sound more wise and less immature. Thank you.
I couldn't relate more.However, I admit, that from my viewpoint, I feel more inclined to note the strengths of ESTJs than vice versa, as far as seeing strengths in them I don’t posses or feel a need to develop in myself. Whereas I feel ESTJs largely will only see positives in an INFP when it happens to align with their strengths and/or preferences. This feels "uneven" and tends to make me avoid these people in person, because in an interaction, I feel sure I will have to be the one to yield & to change, and that I will be the one made to feel "wrong".
I don't naturally tend to reject people for no reason. Is more a self-protection weapon indeed.
A lot of SJs think I am rebellious, which I may be inside my mind when I don't feel freedom of expression and being myself, but I am actually really passive, and I consider it a flaw.
I fear getting to close to ESTJs because when I like someone I get blind and I forget what are my real values and who I really am. I don't like to be this weak, but love is somewhat scary and stronger than me.