The Myers-Briggs Asshole Index

[johnnyyukon]

Ok for ENTPs, the best I could come up with is this "Ted Talk" from an ENTP.

 

[GarrotTheThief]

The Myers-Briggs Asshole Index | Johannes Punkt's Flaskpost

This is pretty hilarious. Unfortunately, while I was giddy with excitement about getting ripped a new one, when I got to the ENTP section I found this:



Okay maybe [MENTION=23213]GarrotTheThief[/MENTION] is right. I guess I really am an ENTJ. MLIO!!!

Anyway, find your type and post it, and tell us all what you think of the assessment. This should be fun.

I would post them all myself but then I would probably be accused of spamming again.

WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Also, some asshole in the comments said this was biased in favor of ENTPs, yeah, in the same way a pop atheist's argument of why we are here is biased in favor of God. I want the last half hour of my life back.

Welcome to the dark side again. Hopefully this time you stay with us.

 

[Pionart]

ISTJ

Imagine an ant, a tiny little worthless animal who does exactly what its superiors say. That is an ISTJ, that is. They often switch between three expressions to maintain a notion of humanity but really, they cannot be counted as human. If you try to have a conversation with an ISTJ, you will be disappointed, for ISTJs do not have conversations. They recite scripture, or they tell you of their routine, or they argue with you, but they do not have conversations.

Strongly convinced of opinions formed before their teenage years (during which they rebelled slightly and regretted it), the ISTJ is likely to have a bent for the religious. They are calm individuals, on account of being so lacking in everything. New things scare them. These are the people who would adapt to newspeak the easiest.

ISTJs do not have “ambition”. They are empty inside.

If you happen to find yourself in the vicinity of an ISTJ, just move away. ISTJ can spread by touch, I’ve heard, and you will not even notice the change.

Well. If you say so.

 

[PocketFullOf]

Welcome to the dark side again. Hopefully this time you stay with us.

Shouldn't be a problem...as long as I stay on my meds.

 

[Coriolis]

The INTJ totem animal is the octopus. They prefer to stay in the darkness, unlike their Extravert counterparts, ENTJs, the INTJs rarely get caught. They make this world a pissy place and they do not often at all stand for their crimes, but let someone else take the fall.

To give you an idea of what kind of people INTJs are, I’ll provide you with a list of famous INTJs:

Karl Rove
Hannibal Lecter
Reinhard Heydrich
Ayn Rand
Roger Ailes
Rebekah Brooks

So yeah. They are much better at being low-key than the ENTJs, and they often do not understand that what they’re doing is evil.

This has got to be the feeblest most lame-brained attempt to criticise or make fun of INTJs that I have seen in awhile. It does not merit further evaluation.

 

[PocketFullOf]

This has got to be the feeblest most lame-brained attempt to criticise or make fun of INTJs that I have seen in awhile. It does not merit further evaluation.

Yeah, I think all of us on this site are capable of making up better ones for our type. We should have a competition, first we pick the best parody for each type and then best parody overall. I know parody isn't the right word but I don't care because I am currently more wine than water.

 

[johnnyyukon]

This has got to be the feeblest most lame-brained attempt to criticise or make fun of INTJs that I have seen in awhile. It does not merit further evaluation.

Party pooper

 

[Thalassa]

My mom is such an ESFP it makes me teary eyed. All I am going to say is that I actually just made a facebook post telling my sisters I loved them like Lana del Rey loves Chuck Grant, and that I like cats with mustaches. It's funny though how much the INFJ is also a little like me, but only the asshole part, where I am friends with paper and it doesn't talk back because everything relates back to me, not the part where I actually have anything resembling redeemable social skills that don't involve sex or money, so yes, I do believe ISFP suits me just fine.

Lol ESTP racoons flashing people on the freeway. I think I missed the point of this exercise but somehow got more out of it than most people.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

ESTPs are like ISTPs in that they sometimes turn into wailing mockeries of adult people. But ESTPs do not do it because the screams echo in the hollowness of their soul and they can pretend that the abyss is responding to them, no – the ESTPs do it because they think it’s fun. It’s what they live for. They’ll carry a gun into a bank just because it’s fun to scare the poor innocents, they’ll stand by the roadside and flash motorcyclists so they can watch them crash, nothing is out of limits for an ESTP.

They are usually dumb as rocks. Which is good, because the ESTPs with brains are really fucking scary. The ESTP animal is the raccoon. Which may seem cute or fun to you unless you’ve met one.

 

[Surr]

Well I wouldn't know how accurate because I don't know my type but I did relate to the INTP one a bit..

 

[toluene]

ISFJ

Creeps. “Nice guys.” The ISFJs are really fucking creepy. They do not know what privacy means, and they do not care even if you direct them to a dictionary. They are the traditional silent stalker, the ones who become serial murderers at age 40 out of a growing sense of meaningless in life. Everyone moves away from them, and rightfully so.

The word “love” to an ISFJ is loaded. If they say they love you, you should change your name. They are talking about an undying burning flame of worship and eagerness to please, and though they will never voice what it is they want, you will know. Usually they will romanticise a scenario and keep trying to achieve it. We do not recommend becoming involved romantically with an ISFJ, because you will never know what goes through their mind, and you will never be able to react exactly as the ISFJ wants. If they need to articulate what they want the whole thing is ruined, you see.

You might have an ISFJ friend, and you might have them for like, 8 years without even touching them, and then one night you overhear them describing you as their [gender]friend on the phone.

These people give you gifts and need help. The ISFJ animal is a leech, or anything disgusting and creepy, really.

ughhh i had about five minutes of silent screaming and key smashing when i read that. i'm still laughing but it's the extremely painful kind of laughter. this so perfectly skewers my deepest fears about romance and being in love, and it's exactly why whenever i start to feel any hint of romantic feelings for someone i immediately ignore and blacklist them. i've been in a handful of successful sexual/platonic relationships and ended up on the wrong side of being stalked a few times, but romance was never on the table from my side of the equation. the one time i fell in love with someone was a living hell of a nightmare. i legit feel like i lost my mind, and i was definitely, absolutely creepy. luckily for me i was a tiny confused essentially harmless 18 yo girl and the person i had a thing for much older and able to extract herself painlessly from the situation, but i don't ever want to think about how bizarrely and horribly that could have ended up.

i really, really like this collection though! saving for future reference

 

[Alomoes]

Lololololol. I know an ISFJ who did the same thing.