___ I am a crusader. Whenever I look around I see too much injustice, too much loneliness, too many victims with nowhere to turn. They can turn to me. If no one else had the courage to call out the bad guys, then it is a good thing we have me, because I will. Sometimes people think I am overbearing, and that I can be strident in my moral judgments, but I will not be silent. That would be inappropriate and utterly disagreeable. I can be a little judgmental and it is so hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It's all for a good cause. Right and wrong are clear for everyone to see, and only those with dark motives would pretend that they aren’t. I wouldn’t be so overbearing if it wasn’t so present for me. I can't break away from my moral obligations.
___ There is something beneath the skin of this world. It is difficult to put into words. Things are more than they seem. Images burn up into my mind from some unknowable place. I try to write them, but I can’t… I try to paint them, but it falls short. Sometimes I can only describe the things that happen to me through these images. This has always been best done through metaphor, because in a sense these images connect to the outer world metaphorically. But, it always goes deeper than that. The physical world is sometimes a morbid or absurd place to me, and I find that sometimes the images the world evokes for me are what is more real.
___ It astounds me how often people think things that don’t make any sense at all. It seems so obvious to me. 2 + 2 = 4, but if it is convenient we are so willing to say it is 5. If you jump off a cliff, you die, and yet it seems like people are selling that stuff every day. Bad calls all around. The sky is blue and if you touch a flame you will get burned. The universe has laid it all out for anyone to see, but, impossibly, most people just talk non-sense and do things that just seem so foolish. It is difficult not to criticize. It is a real urge for me, and sometimes it really is fun to offer commentary on the things that interest me. Sharing information, sharing my opinion, maybe some stats, maybe just a little common sense - that is the best way to get the world straightened out. Those bulletheads that do it now make all the wrong calls. I’d make the right calls, but I am no genius, I just have eyes and a brain.
___ Sometimes I feel so disconnected with the world, and that void just fills up with my own private one: the street on which I live, or my beliefs, or just the fantasies in my mind. It is as if those things out of my view don’t truly exist, and sometimes I wonder if I would notice if much of the world just evaporated. It isn’t that I am not interested in new things - I am! But I guess there is a process of incorporating those things into my rich world and I am not always proactive about it. I feel like chasing every little thing is more a diminishment of a rich life than otherwise. Is that a full life? Sometimes a whole world can exist in a garden, or in a well-worn book. There is so much more power in diving deep into those things that are pleasing to me… but who knows what that could be. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to it.
___ I don’t always know where to stand, but when I do, I am immovable. It takes time to work it out, because it really matters to me. I can’t go off guns-a-blazing and really do right by someone. Is it this hard for everyone? People say I don’t answer to anyone, or that I tend to wallow in things, and I guess that is true; but I have to answer to myself, and I hold myself to such rigid principles. My feelings are like a deep well. How do you share that? How is it so easy for people to judge when there is so much to consider? At least I know that when I do make a judgment, I can be okay with myself. That’s all that matters.
___ This world is a golden palace, half-made. Everyone is happy to mill around in the construction zone and they can’t see it. They just see what is there, but you gotta blur your eyes a little bit and then it will come together. Yes, that! You see it there? Now, go make it! For me, this vision beckons too loudly for me to bother with the tiresome minutia along the way. The vision is what matters, and if you want a fire that can burn down the world, you gotta start it and you gotta keep it hot. You think I want Utopia, the world that cannot exist? Yes, I do, because I can see it clearer than I can see you. Call me a dreamer if you like, but this world is only what you’ve made it. Let’s make a better one. You’ll work out the details when I am gone if you have any vision at all. There is no time to ‘live it up’, or ‘balance the books’ because as hot as I run, I am chilled by your myopic tendencies and insipid routines. The Golden Palace awaits.
___ Everything is a system. It can be organized and reorganized, but I am not talking about arranging our desk here, I am talking about logic itself. Something can seem to make sense, but when you bring it into the workshop and tear it to bits, you get to the truthiest bits of truth, though sometimes it is hard to put it back together again. People say I think too much, but I can’t say something makes sense until I have worked it over.. and that isn’t done until it is done. People can’t tell me what makes sense, because I know better anyway, and I don’t believe in co-dependence of thought. I am not always open to peer review - everyone has got to figure it out for themselves or it is just mind control.
___ Stuff has got to be engaging, you know? My attention span is not exactly legendary. It’s like with kids; they aren’t gonna sit there while someone drones on and on… so, get in there! Have fun! Put on a show if that is your thing, be a rockstar if that is your thing, start a business, start a blog, take a trip, whatever you want. Experience is the only thing worth anything sometimes, and I don’t mean taking drugs and jumping off cliffs. I mean BEING THERE. Being there with the people you love, doing the things you love. Life is nothing but a path of experiences. A wise man is one who has lived, who has been there and made it back alive. What else can you trust? Sleep under the stars, see the world, but whatever you do, don’t miss a moment sitting around letting life pass on by. Then, take that experience and make something big. Change the world, or give your family a better life. Your experiences will shape you and empower you.