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  1. #61
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    Do you mind sharing what techniques you use?

    Funny thing, so I walk into this crystal/magick shop in Denver and talk to the owner for a while, I don't have enough cash on me to be these 5 quartz crystals and he basically cuts 50% off the price so I can afford them. And, although I'd only talked to him for 10 minutes, and don't recall revealing too much, he said "You're very hard on yourself, I can tell. Don't be."

    It kinda hit me. He was absolutely right, but that was the first time anyone ever said it. They've said it since, and I usually say, "I know I know, I don't know how to stop though."

    In some ways it's made me a better person with more integrity, but it gets out of control. I still suck at managing my feelings but the best things I've found so far are meditation and some intensive exercise. Helps get me out of my head more and into my body, where da feelings lie.
    REGULAR MEDITATION, QUIET EXERCISES that help you to get consciousness about your body and feelings, and allow you to be slow and concentrate.

    I still read many books at the same time, have different friends, have many different hobbies. But I don't change them every year !

    I have learnt with A LOT OF TIME how to accept my feelings, so I accept more to share some of them (sometimes in a "joke mode").

    Due to psychoanalysis (I needed to understand why I was into unfruitful relationships)-that means SELF ANALYSIS, reflection, useful suffering...etc-

    Due to friends who don't judge you but are more objective than you can be about yourself, sometimes, when you need a hand.

    Due to some tenderness you may have refused in the past and that you see now as a gift...

    Due to some people who'll give you shit inevitably if you keep ignoring your dear feelings.

    Due to writing...a lot... poetries and novels. Writing my dreams too (develops your intuition).

    Due to enneagramm courses I took in 3 countries. Due to 15 books on that subject. Due to still sharing many ideas and feelings about it with one of my best friends who reminds me how I have changed.

    Due to some conflicts I don't want anymore in my own life.

    Due to some hobbies and teachers that encourage me with expressing feelings and relaxing.

    All those are becoming natural day by day. All you need is love for what you choose and patience.




    I'm glad for you that you felt on that guy in the crystal shop ! Some people don't know you but are very much intuitive and able to tell you strong meaningful messages. When it's a friend who tells you so, you can't close your ears. Some fights can't be avoided, it's up to us to remain blind for proudness or open up to grow up. The one who has willpower can go anywhere in life. But (will)power alone will never make you happy.


    As if you were driving a brand new car with a f*cking old rusty engine
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
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  2. #62
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal12345 View Post
    I was talking about what manipulation means in reality, in action, in actual doing of it, rather than merely knowing what it is. There is a vast distinction with the INTP type between knowing how to do something in theory and actually doing it.

    ENTPs at my job are masters at manipulating the system and other people. I don't know how they do it, except in theory. I only know that it's something that's possible to do yet somehow beyond me.

    Well yes, I think we are in agreement, though I do also think that if you took enough of an interest in it it might be something you could pull off with effort. However it's weather you would actually put that much energy into it. I imagine you don't have it as a top priority.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  3. #63
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Well yes, I think we are in agreement, though I do also think that if you took enough of an interest in it it might be something you could pull off with effort. However it's weather you would actually put that much energy into it. I imagine you don't have it as a top priority.
    I probably do some "wheedling and cajoling" now and then, but just for fun, not for any serious goal.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  4. #64
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    I went to a small, highly credited interactive media school of about 200 students, and when I left I was told that "You manipulated everyone in that building."

    Haha. I suppose it's because I have the gift of gab and can connect with just about anyone, including the owners, teachers, and administrators. Playfully flirt, compliment the women, and respected by the men. I was generally pleasant, but also not a pushover, and would speak my mind to whoever if I felt I was in the right.

    And I guess the girl that said that meant that I got the classes I wanted, I simply skipped many of the ones that were total bullshit and passed anyway, and, well I'm not sure.

    I think the combination of being likeable, respected (giving respect too), and quickly connecting with a deeper part of a person, allowed me to get away with more. And also giving extra attention to the people with the most power, also known as "kissing ass" but that's not really what I did (maybe a little). Just schmoozed with them. I've never feared authority, so that shit doesn't intimidate me.

    I dunno, I just understand human systems. Same thing happened at an office I worked at. But I've tooted my own horn enough.
    Yeah, I get all that -- I kind of do some of those things, but on a more low-key scale... it's more how I "position" myself so that positive things happen and no one has an issue with me that gets in the way. Pretty much everyone who knows me personally likes me and/or just has no preconceived notion. Again: "Positioning." Without asserting control over people, I position myself well, to allow me the most options and positive outcomes.

    But I tend to just ignore authority -- I never give them crap, I just don't engage them much because I don't care they are in charge (unless they show me they know what they're doing and talking about) -- but I know I'd have more clout if i put in my face time and was known by them. I'm also working on engaging a little more just to build "face" in general so people know who I am; otherwise I tend to get overlooked in favor of the actual schmoozers, which is annoying if they can't do the work.

    I'm not sure I would label it as direct manipulation; sure, it's manipulation of sorts but only as much as coming to a forum like this and having a 'persona' of sorts, which many people do. There are things people don't say and don't do, in order to retain options and be liked by others. The kind of manipulation that bugs me is when people directly lie and/or try to control someone to do what they want without regard for anyone else...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #65
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yeah, I get all that -- I kind of do some of those things, but on a more low-key scale... it's more how I "position" myself so that positive things happen and no one has an issue with me that gets in the way. Pretty much everyone who knows me personally likes me and/or just has no preconceived notion. Again: "Positioning." Without asserting control over people, I position myself well, to allow me the most options and positive outcomes.

    But I tend to just ignore authority -- I never give them crap, I just don't engage them much because I don't care they are in charge (unless they show me they know what they're doing and talking about) -- but I know I'd have more clout if i put in my face time and was known by them. I'm also working on engaging a little more just to build "face" in general so people know who I am; otherwise I tend to get overlooked in favor of the actual schmoozers, which is annoying if they can't do the work.

    I'm not sure I would label it as direct manipulation; sure, it's manipulation of sorts but only as much as coming to a forum like this and having a 'persona' of sorts, which many people do. There are things people don't say and don't do, in order to retain options and be liked by others. The kind of manipulation that bugs me is when people directly lie and/or try to control someone to do what they want without regard for anyone else...
    Yeah, she was the one that said I "manipulated" and maybe that's what it looked like, but to me I was just being my charismatic self . But in the back of my head I knew that I was intentionally giving the authority a little more attention than I normally would. And I also was aware of the positive impact it would probably have. I wasn't really trying to do anything.

    I'd say the times I've been deceitful in manipulating is telling a woman what she wants to hear to get some ass. Haha. "Of course I love you and your little button nose, now can we get our freak on?" Or to that effect. I try to be honest these days, but sometimes I must listen to the master in my pants.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  6. #66
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    I'd say the times I've been deceitful in manipulating is telling a woman what she wants to hear to get some ass. Haha. "Of course I love you and your little button nose, now can we get our freak on?" Or to that effect. I try to be honest these days, but sometimes I must listen to the master in my pants.


    Glandeur!
    Some women are completely blind (+ no experience is worst for them !). That's why some guys can take power over them like some poor ENTP guided by "master in their pants".

    Another subject...
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

  7. #67
    Senior Member RedAmazoneFriendZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal12345 View Post
    Ok, so we have the ENTP 7/8 sx/sp type who says it's not manipulation, and the ENTP 7w8 sp/sx who likes to dabble in manipulation once in a while, including everybody in an entire building...
    I just think people accept too much of "office shit" and more generally speaking of "relationship shit".
    It's just impossible for me. I can't say yes when I think No.
    My mind is "my master".

    I'd be totally schizophrenic otherwise.
    ALL THAT WE SEE OR SEEM TO BE IS BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM

  8. #68
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    That's not an ENTP thing. That's a liar thing.
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  9. #69
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExNinjaTropPervertie View Post


    Glandeur!
    Some women are completely blind (+ no experience is worst for them !). That's why some guys can take power over them like some poor ENTP guided by "master in their pants".

    Another subject...
    Lol, I love your emoticons. And Glandeur is slacker? Haha, probably.

    Yes, women need to educate themselves on not falling under mens' spells. But strangely, I've found that even some of the smartest still do. And actually, one girl I dated, I told her before we even kissed that I didn't want to be romantically involved, cuz I knew I'd end up hurting her (I wasn't that into her like that, but had a lot of respect for her). And ya know what? That only strengthened her resolve. And she got hurt.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  10. #70
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    That's not an ENTP thing. That's a liar thing.
    You callin' me a liar, punk??

    I prefer, strategic persuader.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

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