Oh, and if I'm involved, I'm usually saying something like:
"You are overreacting. This thing is not worth fighting about. This is a minor issue, we could have some serious issues instead. Like this thing X you/me/someone else is dealing with. I know you are stressed and mad, but you are not mad at me, so please do not explode on me. Resolve whatever is bugging you, and then we can talk about this issue at hand."
Sorry, I don't make very good drama.