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  1. #1
    A wannabe dog
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    Default Verbal affirmation

    I'm conducting a research here.

    Do you use Fe or Fi, and how do you prefer people to express their love to you? Do you prefer love to be expressed through words, or through actions?

    Being an Fi dom myself, I noticed that I prefer it when people expressed their love for me through actions, I find this much more sincere.
    I don't need much verbal affirmation from people, but I do need to see them expressing their love through their actions. For example, if someone loves me, I expect them to be loyal, trustworthy, and dependable, to be there for me when I need them, to treat me with respect and kindness and gentleness. All these little things meant a lot to me. I don't need them to tell me verbally that they love me, but I need to see them expressing their love through their actions.

  2. #2
    Permabanned
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    I'm conducting a research here.

    Do you use Fe or Fi, and how do you prefer people to express their love to you? Do you prefer love to be expressed through words, or through actions?

    Being an Fi dom myself, I noticed that I prefer it when people expressed their love for me through actions, I find this much more sincere.
    I don't need much verbal affirmation from people, but I do need to see them expressing their love through their actions. For example, if someone loves me, I expect them to be loyal, trustworthy, and dependable, to be there for me when I need them, to treat me with respect and kindness and gentleness. All these little things meant a lot to me. I don't need them to tell me verbally that they love me, but I need to see them expressing their love through their actions.
    Both are important to me, so this isn't a clear-cut question to answer.

    I think that love is best shown through accepting the other person as they are, and through supporting them in times when they are emotionally vulnerable. It is tough to be attracted to a depressed man who has lost his job, but a high flying businessman with a wide social circle and a smile on his face every day is easy. What I am saying is...resisting the voice that tells you to leave, remaining loyal and pushing through adversity.

    I also feel really moved by the most simple compliments, like being told by a romantic interest in the middle of a conversation that she has been thinking about me while I'm not around. Basically, I want to know that I'm valued, and that the person who is valued is me and not some other, idealised figure that my girlfriend wants to change me into. A lot of women suffer from the delusion that they can change men into something more "acceptable". You can't, so acceptance is key.

    I am sure you can see a lot of similarities between the way I envision love and the way you do, we are both Fi users after all. I actually find being told "I love you" a little shallow and generic.

  3. #3
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Actions, strongly. Others' words are rather lost on me if they aren't backed up by something tangible, and likewise I don't assume much weight of my own words unless I, too, have something to show for them. I don't talk very much and am constantly surprised by how much people will dare to say before it's provable.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

    RLOAX (don't do it)
    Melancholic Hufflepuff
    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

    Kiss Kiss [johari] Bang Bang [nohari]

  4. #4
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    This isn't type related. People will want and need both kinds of affirmation at different levels, and function isn't going to dictate that.

    It actually depends on the person for me. Some people I prefer words, others I prefer actions. Why? It's about what is implicitly not said. Having either words or actions fills the void. Generally though, I do have more solid certainty with actions, in particular if it is unprompted.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  5. #5
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Default

    IIRC, we've had a few threads about about love languages.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Fi and verbal.

    I'm not huge on other people doing stuff for me because I'm kind of picky about how I want things done. I generally prefer the verbal support and just asking for help when I need it.

    Big exception: being trustworthy. I suppose that is an action. That is the one single most important thing anyone can demonstrate to me.

  7. #7
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I like both. Words can be nice, and kind deeds too. As long as it doesn't feel like the other person is doing it looking for something in return.

    Fi.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  8. #8
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Fi (secondary function) and I need words. I need to hear, "I love you."

    Actions rock - I like those a lot and find them endearing and grounding. But words (verbal affirmation) is my love language.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

    ENFP
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    7w6, 4w5, 9w8

  9. #9
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Even if you love verbal affirmation, you need some level of action. In the end actions always matter more. You have to be pretty crazy to date an "all words, no deeds" partner for very long. But an "all deeds, no words" partner could theoretically work for me, even if that'd be very hard to take.

    That being said, I CRAVE words of affirmation. I never cared about my grades in school, but I always loved reading the teacher comments.

  10. #10
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    Fi and verbal if I were only allowed to choose one.

    I don't need excessive affirmation as in declarations of love 24/7 being that I mostly just assume that the people I've been with have loved me being that we were in no way forced to stay in the relationship, I suppose it helps that I can usually more or less read them via vibes. However, it's always nice to hear those three words sincerely from someone you love, need be damned.

    Although, I will say both are rather important to me in that actions are necessary backing as saying you'd never leave me(hello cheesy) and then running away at the first sign of trouble makes your statements and promises begin to hallow in my eyes.
    In that which is night to all things, therein the self-subjugated remains awake; but where all else is awake, that is night for the knower of the self.

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