User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 14

  1. #1
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default Weak Fe and power dynamics?

    I was recently confronted with this video.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lclu-BQOybU

    So as an ESTP I'm pretty much a bawss. So bawss, in fact, that I'm actually too bawss and completely oblivious to how bawss I actually am. I used to do pretty much everything the black dude in that video does, but this has caused a lot of problems in my life and I've been trying to figure out how to fix them.

    I can't hold a steady job because of this. Its a problem. Bosses hate me.

    For example, I walk into a group being genuine, interesting and attractive as fuck because that's who I am, and then as a result everyone is treating me like shit and my feelings get hurt and I walk away head hung low and go home and cry.

    I have become a gymnast and a martial artist so that I will have a body sculpted to perfection and be the center of attention at parties when I'm doing keg stands and back flips. YAY EVERYONE LOVES ME.

    As a result I'm often pushed out of groups for being a threat to them. For the most part I am consciously oblivious to power dynamics. Unconsciously, I simply follow my gut as far as shaping myself into someone who cannot be condescended or spoken down to. This often tends to make me stand out like crazy.

    My question is, other than forming my own groups, how am I to assimilate into pre-existing groups? I tend to have 1 friend from every clique. Even on these typology websites I am trolled by alpha males/females who want to convince everyone to hate me so that I am outcast from the group and not respected.

    Do I have any Fe types who can explain things to me?

    Hwo to fe?n plz hlep

  2. #2
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default

    Unfortunately I don't know you that well, thus cannot say if the below applies to you or not.


    But, in my experience, people who are awesome and who also somehow inspire others to be awesome tend to get along well with everyone and have lots of friends. People who feel they are better than everyone else and act accordingly tend to inspire resentment.

    It's not the simple act of "being awesome" that makes people reject you, it's more an attitude thing.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #3
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Unfortunately I don't know you that well, thus cannot say if the below applies to you or not.


    But, in my experience, people who are awesome and who also somehow inspire others to be awesome tend to get along well with everyone and have lots of friends. People who feel they are better than everyone else and act accordingly tend to inspire resentment.

    It's not the simple act of "being awesome" that makes people reject you, it's more an attitude thing.
    Ok well lets give an example. I'm a lumberjack. I'm damn good at what I do.

    My 2 previous bosses got me kicked off of their crews and complained about me. I don't know what the complaint was.

    My current boss is trying to get me promoted as quickly as possible. My guess, is so I can get out of his hair, Idunno.

    Regardless, the only way I've recently been able to cope is to just overpower everyone by telling them that I'm friends with every regional manager and just call people out on their bullshit whenever it happens. When I see my boss talking to the regional manager, I walk over and join the conversation and start shooting the shit with the R.M. as if we were best buds, thus rubbing in my foreman's face who I am and why he WILL treat me how I want to be treated.

    Mind you this is a bran new tactic. I've been fired from every job before hand. My first boss said i was turning the team against her... I was laughing and making everyone else laugh constantly. She was threatened that I was turning the team against her? Not my intention, but I suppose I can see how her insecurity made it a reality. So what exactly am I supposed to do? Stop having fun at work? Keep my mouth shut and never speak ever? I mean, that's what I do now, and its boring and shitty.

    If there is a more tactful gentle way of going about things I'd love to know. INFJs seem to know how to fade into the shadows at work.

    I'm getting angry just thinking about this crap.

  4. #4
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default

    I would perhaps talk to Halla74, an ESTP on here who seems to be good at pretty much anything he puts his mind to, including/especially human interactions and making people feel worthwhile and like they can accomplish what they dream of too.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #5
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,418

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    Ok well lets give an example. I'm a lumberjack. I'm damn good at what I do.

    My 2 previous bosses got me kicked off of their crews and complained about me. I don't know what the complaint was.

    My current boss is trying to get me promoted as quickly as possible. My guess, is so I can get out of his hair, Idunno.

    Regardless, the only way I've recently been able to cope is to just overpower everyone by telling them that I'm friends with every regional manager and just call people out on their bullshit whenever it happens. When I see my boss talking to the regional manager, I walk over and join the conversation and start shooting the shit with the R.M. as if we were best buds, thus rubbing in my foreman's face who I am and why he WILL treat me how I want to be treated.

    Mind you this is a bran new tactic. I've been fired from every job before hand. My first boss said i was turning the team against her... I was laughing and making everyone else laugh constantly. She was threatened that I was turning the team against her? Not my intention, but I suppose I can see how her insecurity made it a reality. So what exactly am I supposed to do? Stop having fun at work? Keep my mouth shut and never speak ever? I mean, that's what I do now, and its boring and shitty.

    If there is a more tactful gentle way of going about things I'd love to know. INFJs seem to know how to fade into the shadows at work.

    I'm getting angry just thinking about this crap.
    You are trying to dominate the environment rather than being a subordinate. You are basically challenging their authority, which renders you useless as a subordinate and worker.

    Why do you feel a need to overpower other people?

  6. #6
    Sheep pill, broster asynartetic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    10,064

    Default

    I used to worry about showing off too much or being disliked by others when I was more awesome than them in any way.

    No more. I'll be polite but I'm not going to check myself because some other guy is butthurt that his girlfriend was checking me out.

    I used to walk around with my head down to avoid intimidating people. I've found that when I walk around with a bit of a swagger and my head up and make an effort to make eye contact with everyone, I do better at work and in social life.

    The other day, I was outside smoking a cigarette with the CEO and an engineer when I should've been inside working. Instead of scurrying off like a timid child, I started talking to the CEO and using some business lingo, talking about revenue, marketing etc., asking him questions and shit, and next thing I knew he was grinning, patting me on the back, speaking to me like an equal and not some idiot subordinate (which is kind of how he usually looks at people). No surprise that now I am a candidate for a position which pays more than double what I currently earn, despite the fact I have little experience and no degree. Oh, not to mention I was kind of a dick because the engineer had been talking to him first and I pretty much inserted myself into the conversation. Obviously the CEO was the alpha in this scenario, but I pretty much knocked the engineer out of second place.

    My answer to you is to stop worrying about trying to Fe and keep doing what you're doing. You're always going to run into people who will be intimidated, and they may try to take you out or get you fired, but haters gonna hate.

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post

    My current boss is trying to get me promoted as quickly as possible. My guess, is so I can get out of his hair, Idunno.

    Hey yo, this is really old, but could also be that you were feeling paranoid. Were you stressed?

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzy Conduit View Post
    I used to worry about showing off too much or being disliked by others when I was more awesome than them in any way.

    No more. I'll be polite but I'm not going to check myself because some other guy is butthurt that his girlfriend was checking me out.

    I used to walk around with my head down to avoid intimidating people. I've found that when I walk around with a bit of a swagger and my head up and make an effort to make eye contact with everyone, I do better at work and in social life.

    The other day, I was outside smoking a cigarette with the CEO and an engineer when I should've been inside working. Instead of scurrying off like a timid child, I started talking to the CEO and using some business lingo, talking about revenue, marketing etc., asking him questions and shit, and next thing I knew he was grinning, patting me on the back, speaking to me like an equal and not some idiot subordinate (which is kind of how he usually looks at people). No surprise that now I am a candidate for a position which pays more than double what I currently earn, despite the fact I have little experience and no degree. Oh, not to mention I was kind of a dick because the engineer had been talking to him first and I pretty much inserted myself into the conversation. Obviously the CEO was the alpha in this scenario, but I pretty much knocked the engineer out of second place.

    My answer to you is to stop worrying about trying to Fe and keep doing what you're doing. You're always going to run into people who will be intimidated, and they may try to take you out or get you fired, but haters gonna hate.
    Awesome man. I don't really have a swagger. I'm just a fuckin bawss. Apparently I walk like a marine and when I talk to someone its really abrupt. I'm just kinda tired of getting fired over this crap. I have an awful resume of job hopping and I had to start my own business as a result. Its not successful quite yet, but its buying me time to figure myself out and find a way to work and not get fired.

    Basically all I want in life is to fuck my wife and get a paycheck. People make this exceedingly difficult for me to do, and yeah, I get the insecure boyfriend treatment as well. Usually what ends up happening is I hit on the girl and make her attracted to me to the point that she loses all interest in him, and then I ignore her after they break up. lolol

    Quote Originally Posted by Feline View Post
    Hey yo, this is really old, but could also be that you were feeling paranoid. Were you stressed?
    not really. Nothing stresses me out physically. I do everything I can to not feel any discomfort or pain in my daily life, so if something is stressing me out I just kinda analyze if its something within my power to control. If it isn't, I stop trying. If it is, I do what is within my power.

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    not really. Nothing stresses me out physically. I do everything I can to not feel any discomfort or pain in my daily life, so if something is stressing me out I just kinda analyze if its something within my power to control. If it isn't, I stop trying. If it is, I do what is within my power.
    Maybe you will incorporate Fe as you get older. Maybe you can think of your coworkers as your "gymnastics" team. Hear me out. Rather than play alone on a team of one, at which point, what is the point?, you can build up your team, so you got a team to play on. Make sense?

  10. #10
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default

    Sounds like you want to have "Fe" (whatever you mean by that) but don't actually want to change your behavior or attitude in terms of how you interact with others...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

Similar Threads

  1. [Fe] Fe and not having a strong sense of self-identity.
    By Random Ness in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 66
    Last Post: 12-22-2010, 02:50 PM
  2. [Fe] Is Fe More Powerful in Reserve?
    By TopherRed in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 10-01-2009, 09:39 PM
  3. [Fe] Fe and People Information
    By Glycerine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 09-29-2009, 05:18 PM
  4. [Fe] Fe and how it works
    By Poki in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 101
    Last Post: 09-04-2009, 12:57 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO