Over the past few months I've begun trying to observe my behavior, and I have finally come to terms with the idea that I live my life with a small set of rules that ultimately cripple my ability to interact with people. I'll jump right in, and try to be organized.
1-People don't like bad news.
-People don't want my bad news.
-People don't want my negative emotions.
-People don't want my emotions in general.
2-People want to be right.
-People don't want to hear they are wrong
-People don't want to hear my contradicting ideas.
-People don't want my opinion.
Both start off reasonable and logical enough, and the first rule is strongly supported by Fi, while my Ne function often undermines rule 2. Basically, however, because of this I show people their emotions and their opinions. I craft the aforementioned masks out of traits people want to see and traits of respected people. It's my big defense mechanism. However, as a result, there is a third rule.
3-I only show my masks.
-People only see my masks.
-People don't know me.
-I am insignificant and forgettable.
And there's the important conclusion. I constantly assume that people don't know me. I can't form lasting relationships with strangers because at the end of the day I simply assume that they don't know me. I assume that nobody on this cite knows me. I just assume I don't exist.
I don't know what I expect to get from saying this, and I don't want it to seem bitchy, but that's everything I've been needing to say, so can someone help me understand it? That would be nice.