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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Default Very Social Introvert or Typed Wrong?

    It's been awhile since I've been in a really good place in my life. I've had serious confidence issues in the past that have hindered me from getting out and socializing. Because of this, I have always thought I was an introvert. However, lately I have been feeling more and more confident about, well, me in general. The switch happened when my mom retired. She used to work at the same college I did. I always kind of felt like I was in her shadow for fear anything I did would reflect on her. She's very much a person that doesn't like to make waves and frankly I'm not. If I disagree with something I'll pipe up, she wouldn't. I'm also far more politically outspoken than she is. Since she has retired, I decided it was time to stop holding back and truly be myself without fear of how it would reflect on her.

    Now...that being said... Something happened. I've become quite the social butterfly. Normally, I'd be quite content staying in and spending a quiet night at home, but lately I can't stand to just stay in and watch TV or read. I want to get out and be around people and save my reading for unwinding before bed or when I first wake up. We had an event for our new chancellor and I caught myself actively seeking out people that I wanted to talk to and engaging them in lengthy conversations. I never would have done this last year.

    I don't know if I was hiding in my mom's shadow and scared that my outspoken personality would make people think badly of her because of how I was or if it was a fear of how she would react if someone said something to her about my outspoken ways. Regardless, since she's been gone I have dramatically changed and I kind of like it.

    To be honest... I broke down and took the MBTI test over again and carefully considered each question instead of just blowing through it like I normally do. It came back with ENFP. I read through the profile, and have to say there are definitely aspects that I can relate to. Part of why I always thought I was an introvert was the times that I would disappear into the bedroom to think things over. In reading the profile of ENFPs, I noticed they even referenced that. Although, I have to say, I think a lot of me disappearing to be by myself is because I am an only child and I'm very used to having plenty of time to myself.

    Pretty much all my friends that are introverts have said when it comes to introversion they do not see it in me at all. I used to think I knew the differences between extroversion and introversion pretty well, but now I'm second guessing if I had simplified it. Same for intuition and sensory.

    Meh, probably should have stuck this under What's my Type forum...


  2. #2
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Hey, I've got a very similar story to you.

    Without going into great detail, I spent the better part of my youth being rejected, marginalized, and made fun of by my school mates. I withdrew and stopped interacting, and that just became my default way of coping with people. I was literally catatonic at school for a number of years.

    I always test as an introvert, but by looking into cognitive functions, it became clear I am cognitively extraverted. I don't think ANYONE would say I was an Extrovert, objectively speaking, but the evidence is all in: I'm a stereotypical ENTP. So, I think it could be possible in your case.

    What you want to look at isn't so much your social behavior (this could be a variety of other factors, including enneagram stuff, the development of an extraverted function, etc)--instead, what works for me is determining what interaction does to you. I tend to get charged up by talking and interacting (even if I don't do that a lot with strangers) and can be sort of oblivious to my environment (as in, I lived across from a welders' at one point and wasn't even aware of the sound). It can be hard to unwind. I think most introverts would say the opposite--they eventually need a quiet place to retool.

    Look at that energy flow; I think it's a better answer than just your social behavior.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Hey, I've got a very similar story to you.

    Without going into great detail, I spent the better part of my youth being rejected, marginalized, and made fun of by my school mates. I withdrew and stopped interacting, and that just became my default way of coping with people. I was literally catatonic at school for a number of years.

    I always test as an introvert, but by looking into cognitive functions, it became clear I am cognitively extraverted. I don't think ANYONE would say I was an Extrovert, objectively speaking, but the evidence is all in: I'm a stereotypical ENTP. So, I think it could be possible in your case.

    What you want to look at isn't so much your social behavior (this could be a variety of other factors, including enneagram stuff, the development of an extraverted function, etc)--instead, what works for me is determining what interaction does to you. I tend to get charged up by talking and interacting (even if I don't do that a lot with strangers) and can be sort of oblivious to my environment (as in, I lived across from a welders' at one point and wasn't even aware of the sound). It can be hard to unwind. I think most introverts would say the opposite--they eventually need a quiet place to retool.

    Look at that energy flow; I think it's a better answer than just your social behavior.
    Thanks for the response! That is quite helpful. I, too, was picked on and harassed throughout school and ended up becoming less social and withdrawing from people. It definitely had a major impact, because even now I am very skeptical and distrusting of people.

    I'll have to pay more attention to how I react to various situations. Be it social situations or like you said if sounds or sights in my environment affect me. Interesting food for thought for now.


  4. #4
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaotic Harmony View Post
    Thanks for the response! That is quite helpful. I, too, was picked on and harassed throughout school and ended up becoming less social and withdrawing from people. It definitely had a major impact, because even now I am very skeptical and distrusting of people.

    I'll have to pay more attention to how I react to various situations. Be it social situations or like you said if sounds or sights in my environment affect me. Interesting food for thought for now.
    Glad I could help. Sometimes you really have to examine yourself and notice what your brain is always doing before you get it. I did in my own case. Best of luck on your cognitive journey.

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