One more thought: I think where Enneagram has helped my understanding, is with others. I used to be so confused by the actions of others and the conflicts I would find myself in, knowing where that person is coming from has made worlds of difference.
Ah yes. Understanding others has been
the major benefit for me in my own case. Suddenly everything makes sense! On the other hand, it's also made me tolerant of things I maybe shouldn't be tolerant of. Mixed bag, I guess.
Yeah, I don't think that's unusual (and this is exactly why I keep typology away from the high school kids I volunteer with). If theory has it right, most people who do that fall somewhere on the 3, 6, 9 spectrum. I know a handful of individuals who qualify and have talked with them about it, but I (obviously) believe other types can and do mistype as well. Hardcore reading is crucile, one of the common threads running through the people I've talked to is shallow (or no) reading.
Seriously? Over-reading can land you in the same undecided spot though.
Oh so much of this! Someone in a chat group was trying to tell me that because I said, "I'm certain I'm not type X", it therefore proved I was type X. He was all, "You have quality A more than quality B [as if one can deduce this in a chat forum]; therefore you have Y-wing". And it was all based on online internet descriptions and gossip! I was like, How can I carry on a conversation with someone so un-knowlegeable?? Then they start kicking around the lamest ideas as if they were gold...ugh, so much for continued self-development.
As you say, it's also a good idea NOT to give this stuff to high school kids. Not only is their life- and self-experience limited, they're inclined to misuse it. "You're a weird artist so you're a 4!!" I got told this as a teen, which did wonders in making me
reject the type from initial consideration.
Right, and I hope you realize that's not what I intended or meant at all. I could never presume to know an individual better than they do themselves, but I have been shocked at the way people I know really well falsely see themselves. Example: My 2 Mom completely denied (at first) having pride issues or only doing things for others to get love back. After reading, she took it more seriously and agreed. I know others who are just really confused about who they are and what they feel. Most people tend to identify correctly if they are relatively emotionally healthy and after narrowing it down to a couple types, are given some time with the text (I've mostly used The Wisdom of The Enneagram). Most of the confused and or mistyped people I come across really have been 3, 6 or 9 though, which actually surprised me at first (I didn't really expect it to ring true). It does make sense in theory though.
What you say about your mother doesn't surprise me, as this is supposedly a subconscious process for 2s--their defenses gear them toward believing in their own best intentions. No hidden agenda at all! I'm not surprised she dismissed that at first.
I've heard the theory about the attachment types (haven't read it in any book, actually), but the 9s I've met have generally known what they were upon reading about it. This is, like, two of them, though. They were both older adults. Theoretically, these tend to be the types out of touch with some aspect of themselves, so it makes sense.
Sometimes, though, there's "over knowledge" of ones' idiosyncracies, similar to "over-reading". And that's a whole nother can of worms.