Flaking out and Temperament/Cognitive Function Correlation

[Eluded_One]

Whenever I find myself making the dreadful commitment of something I'm not eager to fulfill, I always end up getting a last minute change of heart.

I've noticed that this also holds true for others with certain cognitive functions such as types with NE primary or backup. Why is this so? Is it because when you're processing possibilities, it's expected that the best choice is the one that has yet been thought of?

I know that INFP's have a notorious reputation for flaking out, but so do other xNxP's (ENTP's, ENFP's, and INTP's). Do you believe that this is the case, or are there other types you would like to mention that are also prone to flaking out? Or perhaps it has less to do with cognitive function and just general laziness?

 

[grey_beard]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION] --

I was going to answer but I for...


(How did I *know* you were an INFP even before looking?)

 

[Eluded_One]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION] --

I was going to answer but I for...


(How did I *know* you were an INFP even before looking?)

I was going to answer but I think you need to use better bait next time.

 

[grey_beard]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION] -- not bait; I actually have immense respect & admiration for INFPs.
Consider that INTJ chummy-type teasing. You know, socially clueless.

Best wishes.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

I'm a notorious flaker.

 

[Eluded_One]

[MENTION=13440]Eluded_One[/MENTION] -- not bait; I actually have immense respect & admiration for INFPs.
Consider that INTJ chummy-type teasing. You know, socially clueless.

Best wishes.

Friendly witty banter always welcome here. No harm if you left bait or not, it's always fun to see what you catch. I just like to have the upper hand on any exchange

 

[Flâneuse]

Most of my past "flaking out" on people has been primarily motivated by anxiety, but not boredom or laziness. It's actually happened a lot more when I'm in pessimistic, fearful FiSi mode; when I use Ne I have more optimism, mental energy and resilience and I'm more likely to actually go through with the commitments I make because they no longer seem that scary when they come around.

This is mostly speculation, but I see INxPs as more likely to back out of commitments to avoid social overexertion, and ENxPs are probably more likely to flake out out of indecisiveness/desire for different possibilities.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Most people wouldn't exactly call me a "flake" IRL--I keep my word to others, I'm serious, I'm pragmatic in some ways, I tend to finish large projects (like college)...not so much the smaller ones.

But I know the process you're talking about. Unless I really WANT to do something, I tend to hesitate making commitments, or somehow find something better to do right before I'm needed somewhere else. I always felt it stemmed from a fear of being trapped somehow, but I am sure that being Ne+Ti doesn't help matters.

I feel like most of my flakiness is internal, however--I've become aware of how absent-minded I am, how utterly lost in an alternate reality. But most others--including even my family--don't see this.

 

[chickpea]

Most of my past "flaking out" on people has been primarily motivated by anxiety, but not boredom or laziness. It's actually happened a lot more when I'm in pessimistic, fearful FiSi mode; when I use Ne I have more optimism, mental energy and resilience and I'm more likely to actually go through with the commitments I make because they no longer seem that scary when they come around.

This is mostly speculation, but I see INxPs as more likely to back out of commitments to avoid social overexertion, and ENxPs are probably more likely to flake out out of indecisiveness/desire for different possibilities.

all of this is very true. sometimes it is laziness though. or the potential anxiety combined with how good my bed feels at that moment.

i try to honor my commitments, if i think me going is actually important. sometimes i'll say i'm going to something just out of politeness and social convention and don't expect to be treated seriously. usually i'll just try to resist making an actual plan though and say "maybe" or nothing at all.

 

[HongDou]

I think P types in general will be more flakey than J types (I know plenty of SPs who flake out as much as me and don't really commit to anything). Could be related to Ji>Je.

 

[Raffaella]

I thought INxPs are biggest flakers with social dominants being the flakiest of the bunch. I don't know any other type that is as notoriously flakey or moody as INxPs.

I definitely flake but I don't do it out of passive-aggressiveness, nor anxiety about attending something I wasn't set on anyway, I do it 'cause I'm moody with my commitments. Don't feel like attending the latest concert with friends or something...? Don't, pretend I've got other necessary commitments. I never agree to something I'm not set on, I'll give others that much however I will also wake up and have a sudden change of mood and decide to flake out of something. I honour my flaking by bothering to contact them and letting them know that I'm unfortunately flaking on them.

If I weren't so moody, it wouldn't be a problem but as I said, I never say yes to things I dislike to begin with.

 

[FDG]

I definitely flake but I don't do it out of passive-aggressiveness, nor anxiety about attending something I wasn't set on anyway, I do it 'cause I'm moody with my commitments. Don't feel like attending the latest concert with friends or something...? Don't, pretend I've got other necessary commitments. I never agree to something I'm not set on, I'll give others that much however I will also wake up and have a sudden change of mood and decide to flake out of something. I honour my flaking by bothering to contact them and letting them know that I'm unfortunately flaking on them.

Oh my god, this is awful.

 

[á´…eparted]

I don't flake. Simple as that really. If I do it is because something forcen my schedule around, and I am very clear about what is going on.

 

[WALMART]

The will is infinite but the intellect tires.

 

[chubber]

Doing something 80% then I flake out.

 

[Redbone]

I did when I was younger...it's true. Now, it's important to me not to do it, so I don't. If I say I will do a thing, then I follow through to the end.

 

[FDG]

Anyway, my answer: I used to never flake, my default mode was "I said I wanted to do it, therefore I do what I said. Otherwise, I would have said no". But I 65learnt over the years that people flake a lot, so now I flake too with people who have a tendency to flake, and don't flake when they don't.

 

[five sounds]

sometimes i flake. i was worse when i was young, got kind of obsessed with timeliness for a while, and now i'm somewhere in the middle.

 

[lue]

A previous flake here. When I was young, it was because I didn't like telling people no, so I would say yes to something I didn't want to do and then flake at the last minute.

In college it was because I would seriously overestimate my capacity for stimulation. So I would be excited about hanging out with friends early in the day, by the time class was over (acting by the way--which was a bit stressful for me), I was tired and ready to go home.

I got called on it, and now generally my answer to everything is maybe.

 

[Flâneuse]

I know a FeNe ESFJ who is ridiculously flaky in a cavalier way, to the point where I considered putting our friendship on hold until she matured and became more respectful.