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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    This is it exactly, from my perspective. "Plausible deniability" is a defining factor of passive-aggression, IMO. And often the act of denying the aggression is a second act of aggression. Gosh, what kind of person are you that you saw THAT as aggressive?? Tsk tsk.
    A response to that would be... "it's not your job to determine what kind of person I am". Or just simply, "I don't care what you think about me"


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Glad this thread was created, because I was recently called out, by an INTP in full on shadow ESFJ mode, for "passive-aggressive behavior" -- and when I told him that I wasn't angry or hostile and that it was a misunderstanding, he said it was still passive-aggressive. However, the definition technically requires that passive-aggression be a method of expressing hostility or anger/resentment. So maybe one Fe vs. Fi definition difference would be that Fe users wouldn't care what was behind the action?
    I dunno, I'm Fe user but I do care what's behind an action. That INTP was just being really weird IMO.

  2. #22
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by infinite View Post
    A response to that would be... "it's not your job to determine what kind of person I am". Or just simply, "I don't care what you think about me"
    That would be useful, if they actually said the words "what kind of person are you." But it's typically an insinuation that stops just short of actually stating anything directly. Plausible deniability.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    That would be useful, if they actually said the words "what kind of person are you." But it's typically an insinuation that stops just short of actually stating anything directly. Plausible deniability.
    Hmm can you give me a specific example of such insinuation?

  4. #24
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I think due to indirect nature of it, it results in the person being passive-aggressive being able to effectively deny any of it if they're called out on it.
    Thankfully I don't run into too much passive-agression IRL (or if I do, I'm not recognizing it as such.) When I see something like this, though - someone trying to deny something that was a P/A response, I call them on it by taking it at face value: "OK, then - so you don't have any problem with what I'm doing, and there's nothing I need to change. That's reassuring." I say it like I mean it, because I do. I gave them the opportunity to be forthright with any concerns, and they didn't take me up on it. It suggests it wasn't that big a deal to begin with. They can always say something later, which I will hear out and reconsider.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #25
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Passive-aggressive behavior tends to make me aggressive, which often makes me look like the "bad guy", which then frustrates me further. But when I get called out on my aggressiveness and try to point out what I am responding to, I can get called passive-aggressive for supposedly trying to place the blame on the other party & playing "martyr". But I'm not trying to place blame at all, just point out what I am reacting to, that the other person is not so innocent. I find myself more openly aggressive than passive-aggressive, but we all have our moments. I bring this up to illustrate how people experience passive-aggressiveness differently.

    My step-dad is super passive-aggressive in the feet-dragging, pretending not to her you kind of way. He's classic unhealthy ISFP 9w8. Feet-dragging is really annoying to me.

    People who instead of saying no, agree and then later make it seem like you're being difficult and demanding to get out of their agreement. Why didn't they just say no to begin with? Instead they act like a victim.

    I find a lot of emotional manipulation to be passive-aggressive, where people try to obligate you to something by making it appear you are selfish if you do not. Often they do this by "giving" in ways you never asked for, with the facade of it being "free", but in their heads they are indebting you.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  6. #26
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Bumping, since the other thread is active at this time.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  7. #27
    What Is Life? RobinSkye's Avatar
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    Hm, this makes me want to type my mom as ENFP as opposed to ENTP, then.
    Ti = Ne > Ni > Si > Te = Fi > Se > Fe
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  8. #28
    Spoiled Brat 🍒 Masokissed's Avatar
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    sarcasm is my preferred form of passive-aggression
    I want my cake and I wanna eat it too
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  9. #29
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    By the definitions people are giving here, it seems like passive aggression is something that is subtle or indirect.

    So then why do people also consider someone that explodes on you passive aggressive?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
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  10. #30
    Senior Member D'Ascoyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    1.) please share your definition of passive-aggressiveness.
    Passive-aggressiveness is a form of lying coated in several layers of artificial sweetener designed to confuse your psycho-emotional tastebuds. Empty, toxic, flat-tasting simulacra.
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