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ENTJs-Just found this funny article on The Onion

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source: http://www.theonion.com/articles/im-an-entj-destroyer-of-worlds,36075/

I’m An ENTJ, Destroyer Of Worlds

COMMENTARY • Opinion • ISSUE 50•20 • May 20, 2014
By Sara Alford

GEP1yft.jpg


Are you energetic? Outspoken? Do you consider yourself rational and goal-oriented? Do you make plans and stick to them—perhaps, as some might say, a little too much? Maybe you’re too busy to stop and smell the roses, and nothing but nothing gives you more pleasure than crushing a planet and all its life into cosmic dust. If all this sounds really familiar then you’re an ENTJ, a destroyer of worlds. Like me!


If you don’t know, ENTJ is one of the 16 different psychological types you can have based on something called the Myers-Briggs test, and as a perfectionist and someone who will hurl a planet into its own sun for her amusement, it’s me to a tee. I was skeptical at first, but once I took the test and read the description of ENTJs—confident, take-charge leaders who rampage across the universe without pity, without remorse, who do not hear pleas for mercy or who hear them and are utterly unmoved—it was like I wrote it myself!


So what do those letters mean? I’ll tell you, but as a knowledge-hungry ENTJ, I’m a tiny bit annoyed that you didn’t look up the answer yourself. I’ll probably tear your galaxy to pieces!


The E stands for “extravert.” That means I gain energy when I interact with others, whether I’m at a party; telling the 50 billion inhabitants of Odrigon VI that they must choose between obedience and extinction; or chatting up a stranger at the bus stop. “Alone time” isn’t really for me. I get stir-crazy quickly, and it isn’t long before I’m escaping from my apartment and calling upon an entire species to tremble and cry out to their worthless gods to spare them from my dreadful power and fury, which will only abate when there is enough death to fill all space and time.


The N is for “intuition.” I’m a big-picture person! If I want to grind a star between my fingers, I just do it without getting bogged down by a bunch of details. And as a T—a thinker—I tend to be pretty analytical. Once I’ve decided to toy with a solar system before annihilating it, I’m pretty good about not letting emotions get in the way. Finally, that J? That’s for “judging,” which basically means I like structure in my life. If I didn’t have my calendar, I’d probably end up just roaming around like a lost puppy, not knowing where I’m supposed to be or which world I’m supposed to cast into a black hole simply because I’m moved to do so and no force in the universe could stop me.


It’s true that I like getting my way like any respectable ENTJ, but I’m actually pretty compatible with the other personality types, just as long as they can deal with my occasional pushiness and bow down low in complete submission to my rule, knowing that I cannot be opposed, that even a single insolent act will cause me to destroy and destroy and destroy until there is nothing left but atoms for me to scatter across the vast emptiness of the cosmos.


Some of my fellow ENTJs include Bill Gates, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and magician Penn Jillette.


Of course, no ENTJs are exactly alike. Sure, we all like to talk. We like to be the boss. We can all move through the universe unrestrained by any law of physics and treat every so-called heavenly body as a mere plaything worth but moments of our attention. But just because I plunge my fist through a planet doesn’t mean that every single ENTJ is going to follow suit. We’re extraverted, intuitive, and nearly omnipotent, not clones.


If you’ve never taken the Myers-Briggs test, you should definitely do it. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and the people around you. And if you end up an ENTJ, welcome to the club!


If not, you will kneel.
 

EJCC

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THIS, my friends, is how you do typology.
 

á´…eparted

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Oh I am so sending this to my ENTJ friend. Considering she played a character that very much fits an ENTJ stereptype in the fall game for HvZ, she will absolute love this.
 
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I like the Vishnu reference. "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

fun fact:
What Oppenheimer said when the first atomic bomb went off.
 
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[MENTION=7040]Forever_Jung[/MENTION], beat ya to it :D
 

five sounds

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:( thanks a lot ENTJs. now we know who to blame.
time-lapse-satellite-photos-show-how-humans-are-destroying-the-world.jpg
 
R

Riva

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Yes I saw this yesterday on FB and I lolz.

Anyway when I first read about Oppenheimer quoting Vishnu - 'destroyer of the worlds' - it greatly confused me because I thought it was Brahma the one who gives life, Vishnu the preserver and Shiva who was the destroyer.

Edit - Just read that the quote was from the legend of Krishna.
 
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Yes I saw this yesterday on FB and I lolz.

Anyway when I first read about Oppenheimer quoting Vishnu - 'destroyer of the worlds' - it greatly confused me because I thought it was Brahma the one who gives life, Vishnu the preserver and Shiva who was the destroyer.

Edit - Just read that the quote was from the legend of Krishna.

Krishna is the earthly incarnation of Vishnu, who is both Creator and Destroyer of all things.

I thought you were the hindu, haha

edit: Shiva is a destroyer too. It's all rather confusing, I think because of the many sects/scriptures. I don't know. But yeah, I stereotypically think of Shiva as "the mean one"
 
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Hmm.. if I am not mistaken Shiva is the destroyer and what I wrote in the post you quoted is correct as it is.

When compared to Christianity Shiva is similar to God, Vishnu to Jesus and Brahma to the holy ghost..... I think.

check out my edit.

You would probably know better than me, but here's a direct wiki quote:

"The Vishnu Sahasranama declares Vishnu as Paramatman (supreme soul) and Parameshwara (supreme God). It describes Vishnu as the all-pervading essence of all beings, the master of—and beyond—the past, present and future, the creator and destroyer of all existences, one who supports, preserves, sustains and governs the universe and originates and develops all elements within."

And direct quote from Oppenheimer himself:

"I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' "

But in episode 11 of Hannibal (I think this show is credible) Hannibal DOES say: "Shiva is both destroyer
and benefactor."
 

Such Irony

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The onion should do an article for all 16 types.
 

EJCC

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[MENTION=10653]Such Irony[/MENTION] [MENTION=20955]johnnyyukon[/MENTION]

These are my favorite funny descriptions (to make you feel better about The Onion):

Post-Apocalyptic Survival Types

ESTJ Commander
"There shall be order. My order."
  • Charm: Average
  • Adaptability: Needs development
  • Planning: Jaw-dropping
  • Survival Preparations: Jaw-dropping squared
  • Weapons Skill: Average
  • Intelligence: Logistic
  • Warm Fuzzies: I'm not paying you to feel good
  • Leadership: Natural Born

Life in the Leadership Caste

But what of the ESTJs who go underground? These tough-minded Supervisors will have to shoulder the immense burden of keeping human civilization alive.

As a member of the leadership caste, you will have the deciding vote in the Great Committee and head up the various enterprises that keep the caves running. From birth you will hold the power of life and death over your subjects.

Yes, sweet, intoxicating power. It is fortunate indeed that ESTJs are a humble type that regards selfless service as a sacred duty. Very fortunate.
Once the population has a basic education, you can begin training them for the workforce. If you thought educating them was hard, you will soon laugh at your earlier naivete. The Artisans will fail to show up on time; spill coffee in the breakroom and not clean it up, take sick leave when they aren't sick; perform duties in an unsafe manner; ignore company memos; abuse controlled substances, dress inappropriately; and practice cannibalism on the clock. If you make rules, they will simply disregard them. If you reprimand them for breaking the rules, they will act contrite and go right on breaking them. If you fire them, they will laugh gleefully and go off to hunt mutants. They will be so impossibly disorganized that you will have to implement workforce training programs simply to teach them how to keep their desks clean. No less than half of the gross national output of your civilization will be devoted to the task of preventing the SPs from reverting back to savagery. Taxes will soar.

But you will persevere. In time the Artisans will learn not to eat each other during work hours. After ten thousand years of careful training, they will even start obeying the dress code. These little victories will keep you refreshed and give you renewed patience when you feel like throwing them all into the grue pit.

Hey, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. And there's no one better suited for the job of restoring order after an apocalypse than an ESTJ.
 
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rav3n

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Was that a parody? Some online ENTJs really do say shit like this seriously which makes me cringe and want to tear them a new one. :shudders:
 

violet_crown

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Was that a parody? Some online ENTJs really do say shit like this seriously which makes me cringe and want to tear them a new one. :shudders:

Idk. I thought the author was being ironic, actually. It's that Ni thing where one plays it big, deliberately heightening things to a point of self-parody. It's easier to express self as charicature when expressing self is vulnerable to inferior Fi to begin with. I was charmed by the familiarity of it.
 
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Idk. I thought the author was being ironic, actually. It's that Ni thing where one plays it big, deliberately heightening things to a point of self-parody. It's easier to express self as charicature when expressing self is vulnerable to inferior Fi to begin with. I was charmed by the familiarity of it.
[MENTION=10808]andante[/MENTION]

Are you guys really not familiar with The Onion? It's just hilarious and extreme satire. The Onion - America's Finest News Source
 
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