[MENTION=14857]fia[/MENTION] While I think you make some valid points, I must say barely anything in that doormat list applies to me. I still feel blame for other peoples' moods too often, but that's about it. I'd say I'm very sensitive to being pushed around and don't let that happen easily.
Always good to hear!
Perhaps I should clarify also that my point is mostly that a Fe-aux is vulnerable to becoming a doormat when emotionally unhealthy patterns have developed because of circumstance. It could also make sense that a healthy Fe-aux could learn to set the right boundaries. It sounds like you have a healthy, well developed Fe. Interestingly enough, some of the best boundary makers are Fe-doms. When a person has command of their interactions in the concrete world amongst people, then boundaries is at the core of that skill. What I describe is likely a bigger problem for the highly individualized introvert who still has a strong drive to connect?
I think that extroversion helps people have a command of interacting socially, Ti, Te, and Fi helps people not be as beholden to others subjectively. You can also look at this through the process of elimination, although, it would be interesting to see if it is an equivalent issue for ISFP.
does anyone who identifies with this have any examples for the items on the list?
(i am particularly interested in examples of items 2, 3 & 4, but any will be welcomed)
My psychological problem is that I self harm whenever rejected. It started as a teenager when I felt I must be half-evil because my father was cruel. Now whenever I'm rejected by someone important to me, my natural response is to assume they are in the right and I also reject me. I mirror their mindset and have a strong drive to punish myself that I have to develop a lot of mental discipline to not give into. When in high school and most of my life until now I had no close friends, would tend to see other people as innocent, and anytime I saw something I was likely to judge, I would internalize it and hate myself. Feeling anger towards others is something I've had to deliberately practice and learn because it doesn't come naturally to me. I only have a natural inclination to feel anger towards myself.
Edit: It's because I don't have a normal sense of self-ego because of a combination of personality and experience. My view of the world rapidly switches between so many vantage points that my own perspective is just a subset of the whole. It becomes overwhelming and so to just internalize and accept the blame is almost a relief because it's easier. I have a deep fear of expressing anger or blaming others because I just know that I'll find out the person is dying of cancer or was hurt. I know there is a reason. There is always a reason, and it's just a matter of time and empathy to discover it. Other people look fragile to me, and it feels like I can typically handle more than them, so it is safer to just express the anger towards myself. This is also because my core family growing up felt more fragile to me, and I felt responsible. Even though I'm the youngest, I've always felt naturally responsible.
My boss knows me pretty well by now and he just comes up to me holding his fingers together and says "ZEN ZEN ZEN ..." And it works 
