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  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I think that the general principle is accurate, that people can and do extend outside of preferences, whether due to upbringing, or simply a necessity to survive or accomplish something specific, or simply broadening skillset and working on non-preferences. Some can do so more easily than others. In a short-term sense it can be draining, extended to a longterm thing and I think it becomes more debilitating / a neurosis/becomes a real aspect of personality, and might be difficult to break free or make sense of things. Even to point of not being able to decipher what preference is vs learned.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #12
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Thankfully my parents and immediate family are pretty Fi, so that was pretty good for me in terms of developing into myself and not feeling any pressure in that regard. But at the same time, I used to wish I got a little more Fe, because growing up I never knew what/how I was supposed to be doing/acting in so many different scenarios.

    So I had some rude awakenings in teens and early 20s.

    I think I turned out pretty well in the end though, so I'm not complaining
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #13
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    okay, I apologize before hand... But what you're all saying is sometimes you fake another type (obviously your types shadow type or something) in times when you need to re charge? Or need space during severe times of social/mental stress? I hope I grasped upon this concept haha, because I can relate. I'm not aware I'm doing this, till now. Also I'm still not sure if I'm understanding this right. I am a very extroverted ENFP and i know my limits, but I often push them because I hate being alone. So sometimes when I haven't gone home in a couple days or I just haven't that moment of clarity to myself, I would say I do act like an INFJ. This is actually refreshing to hear, because sometimes I doubt my ENFP qualities because of these periodical mood switches. it's not just because I'm moody, it is like night and day. my friends are the ones who pointed it out too me. I become very quiet way out of my character and observe everyone, and almost reflect what they're feeling and become numbly melancholy? I don't know I'm just very interested in this falsification of type thing, and I hope I make some sense...
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  4. #14
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    I also get insanely tired when I act not like myself? Like its uncontrollable protection sometimes that's draining
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  5. #15
    cool cat Freesia's Avatar
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    I also tried to falsify my type. When I was 14 (before I knew about MBTI) I attempted to change myself into a XXTJ. Due to both parental and peer influences, I saw myself as too emotional, passive, depressed and just weak overall, so I started to actively change my thought patterns in an attempt to make myself more analytical and detached. I'd mentally berate myself whenever I strayed from what I thought was the "reasonable" way to be. It was immensely draining and looking back it did so much harm, which I am still trying to undo.

    "Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high.
    Then life seems almost enchanted after all."
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  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    It feels to me like I am wearing this INFJ armor when outside, and when I come home after a long day and relax, I take the armor off and become this lazy-ass, easygoing and procastinating pseudo-ENFP...
    Lol, I feel basically the same way, feel like I go out during the day with my ENFJ persona on, then come home and revert to my normal xNFP self.

    My mom's ESFJ... whole family's FJ/TP... I think there's been very little Fi valuing in my general life sphere and not all that much P valuing, definitely not FP. I feel like I try to face the world with my FJ face, like that's what's really sought and rewarded. Some days I have particularly FP days where I'm too preoccupied with everything else to remember my FJ face and I do surprisingly well as an FP. But it's kind of hard sometimes to tell because I think I'm a fairly weak P... so like... is the organized side of me Te... or is it e6... or is it me trying to fake J? Who knows.

  7. #17
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    Assuming I now know my correct type (INTP), I think I've been idealizing INTJ behavior (especially WRT planning) for a long time. I've been trying to make myself plan via checklists for years, and I hardly ever get more than halfway on any of them, and much less if they're long lists. Sometimes I need to Extravert, and that's really draining.

  8. #18
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Lol, I feel basically the same way, feel like I go out during the day with my ENFJ persona on, then come home and revert to my normal xNFP self.

    My mom's ESFJ... whole family's FJ/TP... I think there's been very little Fi valuing in my general life sphere and not all that much P valuing, definitely not FP. I feel like I try to face the world with my FJ face, like that's what's really sought and rewarded. Some days I have particularly FP days where I'm too preoccupied with everything else to remember my FJ face and I do surprisingly well as an FP. But it's kind of hard sometimes to tell because I think I'm a fairly weak P... so like... is the organized side of me Te... or is it e6... or is it me trying to fake J? Who knows.
    I think that's what relaxing may truly be... Our primary channels get worn out during the day, and when we come home we switch to the backup channel, allowing the primary one to cool down... I get irritated when I have to do INFJ chores when at home too, it tires me out... I can force myself to though if necessary...

  9. #19
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    Jung thought it was advantageous but psychologically draining to falsify one's type in order to satisfy conditions without. This most typically is brought on by parenting.

    What is your experience with this phenomenon?
    Well assuming this is the cause I've had extensive experience with this, especially when I was growing up. Essentially I was always constantly being pressured to act a certain way or appropriate myself socially. This conflicted with what I usually wanted to do so I acted out, grew angry and argued.

    But that's fairly standard childhood stuff, however the far reaching consequences of this became more apparent as I grew older. Constant reprimands for doing the slightest things out of 'the norm' and being shouted at had made me very nervous of doing the wrong thing. But I instinctively understood that the wrong thing was context based and so it was impossible not to upset others, so I didn't bother, however I was often extremely quiet and distant for a long time after my early childhood and I seemed to have lost some of my fighting spirit.

    From the outside this probably made me look very rule abiding, but it was more that I was avoiding conflict. However my anger would still rear itself when pushed to the limit, look at the string of jobs I've quit over the years. This also brings me into my next issue, which is that I've found most jobs intolerably difficult.
    This is because most of them require a certain on the ball engagement, not to mention an intense attention to detail that borders on the insane.

    In a way it was a good growth opportunity and I have become more tolerant of it, but it's still extremely draining. I tend to see things best in leaps and bounds of understanding, with a little bit of information acquisition as well but rote memorising is lost on me and possibly why I struggled at school.
    What type I might be I may always be unsure of, feeling as I do between types, but there is an unmistakable influence of stress resulting from forcing myself to act in a way I am not cognitively attuned to.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
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