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  1. #41
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    ^How do you really know that though? I mean, you're making a declarative statement...and yet you provide no empirical evidence... ???







    ^^While I'd like to take credit for that phrase that came to me via Wind-up Rex The member the state i am in also has an analogy describing this same phenomenon which made use of the word 'bandwidth' haha that I really liked but I can't remember it right now. <-There's a couple of different things going on here though that need to be separated out.

    I'm not sure what your instinctual variants are miss perhaps...from what has been described by you in this thread...I'm going with so/sx. Nevertheless, the curve/bandwidth was referring more to sx-dominance (or I guess a highly *spirited* individual? in general) and a tendency to be attracted to people that are challenging.

    ^^All of that needs to be distinguished from enneagram 7s desire for *that which is interesting*...which often ends-up being *challenging.* In other words, e7 is not specifically seeking-out challenging... e7 tends to avoid challenges and the obligations that are generated by such a characteristic. Which makes the addiction to interesting especially unfortunate since interesting and challenging so often go hand-and-hand. Here's where the notion of *projects* generally comes into play. In an effort to satisfy the addition to interesting...many e7s will trick themselves into 'settling' for challenging...by looking past-it to the potential (which is something ENFPs do naturally) and setting their sights on some point in the future where the loved-one has rid themselves of the challenging traits and all that remains is interesting.

    I actually wrote about this in the ENFP Common Issues thread:






    Listen to your ENFP elders...that last bolded part is a bunch of bullshit haha (<-okay I'm laughing but I'm not laughing do you understand?) ENFPs are naive about many things but we know people. I get nervous when I see this because I know what you're doing. Yes, you have a natural desire to help and inspire...but NOT as your primary function in a romantic partnership. Do not use these gifts you have been given as a way to mask your addiction to interesting from yourself. [whoops I came back to edit. We should help and inspire our partners...just not Champion them though. The relationship shouldn't be imbalanced.]

    I don't really have a feeling either way what you should do with this dude. From what you have described...not enough feeling appears to exist for me to enter this relationship...even when I was your age and taking on projects. Coast with it...but do it with your eyes open.
    OKAY THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS OUT, BUT THIS MAKES ME SUPER ANXIOUS NOW.
    BECAUSE I OFTEN ASSUME WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE FEELING, AND I MAKE LITTLE SITUATIONS INTO A BIG OLE MESS. So I'm confused on when to trust my 'intuition'? idk this is always a HUGE struggle of mine. And I can relate to barely any of my friends about this issue. I'm always being told i'm weird or cliche, or sound like a hallmark card...-_-... But, sometimes I'm told I have good prejudgment about people?

    WHO 2 HECK DO ENFJS DO IT? DO THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD INSIGHT ON PEOPLE, MORE THAN WE DO? WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPS?
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  2. #42
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Things are more friendly with this kid now btw, there is romantic interest obviously. But we're really good friends so if things don't work out; I don't think we would be that upset. I don't know he's still pretty open with me I'll see how things go
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  3. #43
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    OKAY THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS OUT, BUT THIS MAKES ME SUPER ANXIOUS NOW.
    BECAUSE I OFTEN ASSUME WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE FEELING, AND I MAKE LITTLE SITUATIONS INTO A BIG OLE MESS. So I'm confused on when to trust my 'intuition'? idk this is always a HUGE struggle of mine. And I can relate to barely any of my friends about this issue. I'm always being told i'm weird or cliche, or sound like a hallmark card...-_-... But, sometimes I'm told I have good prejudgment about people?
    I want you to trust your intuition...very much. What I don't want you to trust is your fantasy, your rationalizations...when you catch yourself making excuses for someone or even for yourself. Do you understand? Are you able to tell the difference from these two, three, four...very different *mental places*? Your intuition should feel very strong and solid...very clear-minded...it yanks you into the moment. These other states are whispy and all over the place spreading out into a future that may never exist...

    WHO 2 HECK DO ENFJS DO IT? DO THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD INSIGHT ON PEOPLE, MORE THAN WE DO? WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPS?
    Umm...Just like ENFPs...ENFJs are all across the board. I've known ENFJs that have incredible instincts about people... and I've met ENFJs that are completely insane...with judgments concerning others that seem to be shipped first class to them from some other alien reality... you just never know.

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