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[Other/Multiple Temperaments] Fe Doms: How do you get people

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
to talk about themselves. Because whenever I try it ends up being about me. And it's like NO! I want to hear about you, damnit! Like I'll say something that relates to me, in hopes that people will relate. But then usually what happens is people ignore it (cuz I look selfish) or they ask me questions, and I answer, cuz I feel rude not doing so, And if I manage to not refer to myself people just ignore it.
[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] [MENTION=13646]Haven[/MENTION]
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You return the spotlight, purps. Fi-people tend to empathise and socialise by sharing anecdotes of personal experiences. The thing is that Fi-users will do that without thinking about it and jump in with their version, while Fe-people wait for a cue that it is their turn, so they won't jump in, which means you just end up talking more and more till you re alone up on that stage. After a story, if you jumped in on one of theirs, return the spotlight by tying them together. Explain to them how their story made you think of theirs and finish with a comment on their story, so they can then pick up where they left off.

That way, it becomes a convo of give and take ;)
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
You return the spotlight, purps. Fi-people tend to empathise and socialise by sharing anecdotes of personal experiences. The thing is that Fi-users will do that without thinking about it and jump in with their version, while Fe-people wait for a cue that it is their turn, so they won't jump in, which means you just end up talking more and more till you re alone up on that stage. After a story, if you jumped in on one of theirs, return the spotlight by tying them together. Explain to them how their story made you think of theirs and finish with a comment on their story, so they can then pick up where they left off.

That way, it becomes a convo of give and take ;)

How is that to happen, if they don't offer any info?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
How is that to happen, if they don't offer any info?

You recall where you picked up the conversation, and comment on the last thing they said. Or, alternatively, you explicitly ask them if they have had something similar happen to them before after ryouve shared a story - remember, they need a cue that it is their turn :)
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
You recall where you picked up the conversation, and comment on the last thing they said. Or, alternatively, you explicitly ask them if they have had something similar happen to them before after ryouve shared a story - remember, they need a cue that it is their turn :)
So if they ask me a question about it, I answer, since it be rude not to, then ask them a question?
 
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