Okay wow sorry...I got interrupted and that was enough to tell my mind "this post is complete" and hit send haha.
I started off to say that ...7 goes a long way to being able to put a positive spin on any situation... But I think extroversion is a luxury in this regard that extroverts may (or may not) take for granted. Just knowing I could...if I were so inclined...assert myself without expending a week's worth of energy...may, in itself, reduce my sense of hurt or violation.
Anyway, I feel guilty if I try to assert myself, which is strange becuase I was guiltless about it when I was younger.
Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1 Alignment: Neutral Good Holland Code: AIS Date of Birth: March 15, 1996 Gender: Male Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL) ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST and SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST
I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:
You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!
Just because we don't look outwardly hurt doesn't mean we aren't. Fi is an introverted function so it's activity is not always obvious. I have a problem with letting stuff building up and then it explodes when I am stressed, often associated with angry critical ranting via my inferior Te.
I'm naturally very sensitive (in the broad definition of the word) but as I get older I'm toughening up a bit. My skin is thicker now, and I'm more self-confident and less apologetic. I'm more able to just brush stuff off or laugh about it. It still may hurt (especially direct criticism) but I'm less reactive to that hurt - internally and externally. I can bury the pain a lot better, sometimes even from myself. I've learned I don't need to really feel everything and can better separate myself mentally from the negative stuff. I still avoid putting myself in situations where I may feel vulnerable or draw ridicule, though.
INFP 4w5 so/sp
I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.
- Emily Bronte
I'm a total wimp when it comes to being easily hurt, I hide it well now but when I was younger I wasn't aware that I was supposed to, I've always been emotionally expressive so it was very apparent that I was a crybaby. Everything hurts, the littlest things, whether it was meant to hurt or not, it's why I can't take jokes, which is extremely hypocritical of me(yeah gross).
Being in the reactive triad really doesn't help either, I can't let go of things until I duke it out with the other person, and I must do it immediately because it's verging on physically painful for me not to get it all out right away, it drives me nuts.
I think Fi-doms may potentially be more sensitive than Fi-auxs because our first instinct is to internalize everything, which in my experience is basically thinking of everything in terms of myself/my values/how I feel about things ie.; "That hurt me. He's insulting me!" etc. Whereas your first instinct is to look at things from several points of view/ think of several reasons/ explanations for something(I think...I don't know, I'm no expert on Ne) ie; "Why did he do that? He probably did it because he has problems or is insecure." etc.
Last edited by LadyLazarus; 04-04-2014 at 09:20 PM.
I live with two Fi-doms - an INFP 5w4 brother and an ISFP 6w7 brother, who could not be much more different. The INFP is withdrawing, sweet, gentle, and soulful. When he is hurt or is sensitive to something, he steps back and broods over it. He can usually come out of it after a little while. The ISFP is very gracious and gentle right up to the line, after which he is unbelievably sensitive and prone to severe emotional outbursts both inwardly and outwardly directed, like he cannot get out of the moment of pathos and emotional violation.
The Enneatypes + the differing Pe combine for two very different personalities.
Comes just as it goes
Goes as just its umbra
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
― Albert Camus
7's will often take things seriously if needed. But are less prone to take things personally
Even the comparison of an ENFP 4 vs a 6 is way different. I personally believe 4's are the most sensitive enneatype (not a bad thing) And 2's are the second most. And many IXFP's type as those enneagrams.
I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate.
Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
"Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Eric
I have a thicker skin than I used to but I still react poorly to personal attacks, slights and jokes at my expense, whether real or perceived. The good thing is, where everything and everyone used to be able to hurt me in the past, it's more difficult to do so now, because my reaction these days is more likely to be "Wow, you really suck so I don't give a shit what you think" rather than "Wow, that really hurt and now I'm upset. "
If it comes from someone I love or respect, though, that is incredibly hard to cope with.
Also, ITA with this:
Originally Posted by LadyLazarus
I think Fi-doms may potentially be more sensitive than Fi-auxs because our first instinct is to internalize everything, which in my experience is basically thinking of everything in terms of myself/my values/how I feel about things ie.; "That hurt me. He insulting me!" etc. Whereas your first instinct is to look at things from several points of view/ think of several reasons/ explanations for something(I think...I don't know, I'm no expert on Ne) ie; "Why did he do that? He probably did it because he has problems or is insecure." etc.
When I was in my early teens, a psych categorized me as being more sensitive than 95% of the population.
10 years later, I don't know how well that stacks up, but I remain a sensitive individual. Even the mental callouses I've developed really only seem to delay inevitable pain, so they merely allow me an opportunity to air out my sensitivities when I'm in a safe place. My sensitivity reacts to triggers that change over time; what influenced me then probably doesn't influence me now. Yet, the influence remains.
I don't think it's especially type related, but it seems that when an Fi dom is hurt, they're likely to bottle it up where an Fe dom would become expressive. Expressions of sensitivity can be caustic and overt, but they are no less indicative of the kinds of feelings that Fi doms often struggle to let go of. That sort of seething, in particular, seems to amplify itself when lacking a mode of communication. In contrast with Fe doms, the process of a withdrawing Fi dom can seem more mopy and helpless as it sinks in on itself. When some people think of "sensitive", this is what they imagine. Other times, "sensitive" looks more explosive.