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AlieNs in a crowded eStablishment

Ilah

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
274
MBTI Type
INTJ
I have often thought that it was my introversion that made it difficult to get along with people, but after reading this I think it more of my N.

On an introvert group I am on, I there is a lot of "no one understands me (except other introverts) because I am an introvert" sentiment. I wonder if it is really more that they are N that is the factor. Both N and introversion are in the minority and have trouble finding connections with people.

I was surprised to find that I can identify with large parts of what the EN people on the site have said.

At first I would have thought that the extrovertion would help Ns to fit in better. In other words I though that INs had it rougher then ENs, but after reading this I would have changed my mind. It is much easier for INs to turn their back on the crowd and spend time with themselve. I suspect INs tend to be more introverted than ISs because they have a harder time finding people they get along with.

I also think the opposite gender T/F is a factor. I am female, but I can find guys I can talk too much more easily than women. It is easier for me to make friends with males than females.

Ilah

p.s. Please stop changing the thread title.
 

pure_mercury

Order Now!
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Christ, if being an N puts you THAT out of step with the "S world" that we supposedly live in, you guys must have it rough. It's a pretty alienating world a lot of the time for this ESFJ right here.
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Christ, if being an N puts you THAT out of step with the "S world" that we supposedly live in, you guys must have it rough. It's a pretty alienating world a lot of the time for this ESFJ right here.

You're alienated because you're intelligent. Many Ns are for the same reason.

Its not N alone that leads to alienation. N leads to intelligence which invariably results at being at odds with most of the world. Clearly, it is not the only way to become intelligent, as you seem to be the case in point.

The only clear way we see that the N is at odds with the world is that they have a more difficult time furnishing talents dealing with the physical aspects of their lives. Yet this is certainly a very different kind of an inconvenience of being an N than that alluded to in the OP.
 

FallsPioneer

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2007
Messages
260
MBTI Type
INTJ
The stronger I "N" things, the stronger my dissociation from my environment is. So I let that go every so often. I remember when I used to be a much stronger N (this is considering results of a dichotomy test) that I really felt listless and out of touch in a depressing way...I intellectualized my own existence and didn't have the ability to see many things as they are and accept it.

Fitting in is a bunch of bullshit; I could "fit in" in a bunch of places and I do with honesty. Fitting in with a group of people is for high-schoolers and weird-ass office places with gossipy shit. I understand that I may in fact be different than most people but I don't think it is an actual part of who I am...I'm FallsPioneer, not FallsPioneer the different guy. I pretty much just ignore the idea of fitting in. Fitting in is only a real problem when it comes to security, although everyone has their insecure moments.

"Hey, I'm human, you're human, let's chill."

not

"Hey, I'm a jock, you're a jock, let's chill."

but sometimes...there's

"Oh, hey, I played golf in sophomore of high school...REALLY intense...(awkward sigh)...yup!..."
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
MBTI Type
infp
I'm not sure if I "fit in" (and I no longer care) but I used to really feel like I didn't. It may be because of my N-ness, I'm not sure, but I just didn't feel like I related to anyone my own age. My Ne has been present and strong in me as long as I can remember, and some of the observations I made with it were not... normal and accepted by my peers, and perceived as weird. But more recently I've kind of used my intuition to reflect on people and everything and it now serves me as a way to try to relate to people more, and its bene pretty succesful.

I don't think being "N" makes you not fit in, it's a matter of your entire personality, as others have said. I think, in my case, it had a lot to do with maturity, too. i.e. I once thought I was *above* what my peers did and thought, when I was like 12 or 13, and thus stood out and didn't relate, but as I've grown the last few years I'm more humble and I realize my age and lack of experience and maturity a lot more.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
I often feel alienated by others.
I find it hard to relate to many other people.
I will arrogantly dismiss these people as being 'boring' and/or 'unintelligent'- usually after they dismiss me for not being part of their 'clique' (one that is usually boring and unintelligent)..
I have a good group of friends- people I can be myself around BUT for some reason I just can't get over the fact that I can't get everyone to like me. That has depressed me for the longest of time.
I just don't know whether it is a damaged Fi or a Ti just trying to analyze why people are doing what seems to be illogical.

I don't think it's an S or N thing. I think it's a stupid people being stupid thing.
Narrow minded sons of bitches who regularly reject anyone who isn't exactly like them.
How ridiculous is that??
 

ZiL

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
511
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
567?
I used to think most of my issues stemmed from an E/I divide as well, I'm definitely looking at it as an N/S thing at this point. Most of the people I was around in high school typed as S, and I'm pretty sure my parents and a wide array of my family are sensors as well. There can definitely be problems when you tend to think in abstractions and live outside the moment, while those around you value groundedness, practicality, and "common sense." If your own perceptions and ways of thinking are never supported/mirrored by those around you, it can definitely lead to alienation and feelings of inadequacy - you will think it is you who are defective and need to change, when really you just need to meet a few folks who think like you so you can realize that you're not crazy.

Intelligence is another issue that can certainly leave you feeling like a misfit.
 
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