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  1. #1
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Default Irritated by Te!

    In my (limited) experience with ESTJs, ISTJs, ESFPs and ENFPs, I've seen that their style of talking to people feels (to me) like talking down on people in a rather blunt manner...

    I've also come to notice that it evokes in me feelings of being criticized and underestimated...as if the Te user is bragging with his\her knowledge and knowingly or unknowingly putting the other in a position of someone with inferior knowledge\thinking...as if imposing some kind of intellectual superiority over the other...

    It feels instructive, critical, boasting, entitled, infantalizing, restricting, suffocating...

    So, what's your perspective\experience in this regard?

    What do you, Te users, feel when communicating with people thru Te? How does the process and the other person look to you from your perspective?

    Can it have something to do with Ti-tert or Fe-aux...?

    Does Fe voice evoke a similar reaction in Fi users? If yes, how?

    Does Fe sound as if it was morally superior\entitled or something else?
    Last edited by yeghor; 03-14-2014 at 04:43 PM. Reason: Spelling

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I don't have problems with aux te users, but I always run into problems with dom te users, especially the females. They have this tendency to project their short comings on to me, and say that's what's wrong with me. Then I'll observe later them doing the same thing, and I'll bring up what they say to others and others are like really? I don't see that.

    No other function really illicit a strong reaction to me. It's only Dom Te for me, but I don't know if that's a rare thing, that only one function rubs someone the wrong way.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #3
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    It's because Te is your tertiary shadow function and is one of two most rejected functions of your personality (second only to your daemon, Si).

    I don't really feel anything when I'm communicating through Te, though I guess I might be seen as intimidating considering the fact that I am very blunt and direct when I use it. I will agree on the bit of boasting, we like to share our achievements and show-off our strengths whenever we get the chance due to the fact that our intellectual worth is external (much like how Fi is internal self-worth that doesn't require external perspective and how Fe requires external perspective to build self-worth). As for how the other person looks to me, I would say that they look as if they are searching for knowledge from me, as if I am a gateway that provides straight-forward answers.

    I have recently realized how much I hate Fe (surprising since I have typed as Fe valuing types before), to the point where it is my very anathema. It manipulates, imposes its will over others under the false pretense of kindness and warmth, and builds this political arena of bullshit wherever it goes. It bounds those who do not use it under this archaic system that defends itself under the disguise of "civility". (from my perspective of Fe trickster)

  4. #4
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Does Fe voice evoke a similar reaction in Fi users? If yes, how?

    Does Fe sound as if it was morally superior\entitled or something else?
    Hell yes, I find the Fe-doms I've met in real life to be very bossy as well as being prone to thinking they know what's best for me, when all I really want is for them to get out of my hair.
    They're always trying to force me to do/manipulate me into doing things I don't want to do or trying to tell me what to do in general.
    As if I am not an autonomous individual, who has the right to do as they damn well please.

    They also always treat me as if I am a child, scolding me for every little thing, when even my own mother understands that at this point in my life, that crosses the line towards being incredibly demeaning.
    I just think they don't understand that I don't need and/or want to be babied/ taken care of, in fact I find the way they treat me irritating.

    As for Te users, I usually get along well with them for some reason, the one's I've met don't seem like the bragging type, although they kind of sometimes do act like they know best as well(sticks up their butts all of them I swear ) , but in a different sort of way than Fe-doms do.Although, they never try to force me to do stuff I don't want to do like the Fe-doms I've met have.Overall, they're cool and I find they complement me well.

  5. #5
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    I <3 Te doms and auxs.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  6. #6
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    Blah Blah Blah...

    I have recently realized how much I hate Fe (surprising since I have typed as Fe valuing types before), to the point where it is my very anathema. It manipulates, imposes its will over others under the false pretense of kindness and warmth, and builds this political arena of bullshit wherever it goes. It bounds those who do not use it under this archaic system that defends itself under the disguise of "civility". (from my perspective of Fe trickster)

  7. #7
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    lol

  8. #8
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Well, he is right. When I seek to manipulate, this is exactly what I do. It's highly effective.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  9. #9
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Te expression can be misunderstood, or also misused. Whenever I'm Te-ing, it's a function of Fi: This is what I need to feel that things are right. When I personally get into this mode, it is necessary for my well being. And if somebody isn't complying, then they are in a position where I am not judging them as a person, I am not angry or enforcing, I'm presenting a choice. They are part of my solution or not. If not, bye-bye, I'll miss you (no sarcasm). This happens in dire situations.

    There's also Te I use with Ne, and that's playing with ideas. And it may sound commanding, but it's actually quite plastic: I want to see what happens, so let's follow this plan, and let's do it right! Often my expectations of people falling-in line are a little high. When I see it's not going to happen, I get momentarily frustrated, and then I try to revise the plan.

    I can definitely understand how easy it is to slip into a tyrant mode, but even if I'm not being a tyrant, Te can sound condescending. I do what I can to mitigate this, but mostly I just like to be around people who understand where I'm coming from and aren't all that sensitive to it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    ...I don't really feel anything when I'm communicating through Te, though I guess I might be seen as intimidating considering the fact that I am very blunt and direct when I use it. I will agree on the bit of boasting, we like to share our achievements and show-off our strengths whenever we get the chance due to the fact that our intellectual worth is external (much like how Fi is internal self-worth that doesn't require external perspective and how Fe requires external perspective to build self-worth). As for how the other person looks to me, I would say that they look as if they are searching for knowledge from me, as if I am a gateway that provides straight-forward answers.
    Did you have to intellectually perform to receive praise from your parents while growing up? Is that why Te-aux seeks self worth thru external display of intellectual capacity and the feedback received in return...?

    As for the last part, do you give unsolicited intellectual advice to people? How do they react if you do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alea_iacta_est View Post
    I have recently realized how much I hate Fe (surprising since I have typed as Fe valuing types before), to the point where it is my very anathema. It manipulates, imposes its will over others under the false pretense of kindness and warmth, and builds this political arena of bullshit wherever it goes. It bounds those who do not use it under this archaic system that defends itself under the disguise of "civility". (from my perspective of Fe trickster)
    What specifically makes it false? It feels to me as if Fe is some kind of hailing gesture to establish\identify hostility status with others...It negotiates somehow...

    Fe gestures can be heartfelt as well...or can be used as a disguise so as not to initiate a conflict...It may be something to do with Fe users having a somewhat weak constitution for conflict...Hence they may have adapted in time Fe to establish (authentic or fake) connections with other similar people so as to form some kind of pack\herd...It's some kind of inter-dependence mechanism...

    And some members of the pack do not want to abide by those rules...disturbing the pack harmony, hence weakening the pack? Then why not leave the pack altogether or be cast out by the pack?

    Fe is considering other people's social feedback where Te is considering other people's intellectual feedback about the self...

    So those who are not sensitive to social feedback feels restricted\dictated when those who are sensitive to it are irritated by the former's negative social behaviours...? Of course there's also the question of what negative behaviour is exactly?

    So what may be the purpose of Te in terms of socialization?

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