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Thread: Irritated by Te!

  1. #41
    . Array Urarienev's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    9w1 sp/sx
    ILI Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    You are not attuned to the Fe layer of incoming and outgoing data...Do you notice people get offended with it or do they have to tell you straight out so as to make you notice?

    The bolded part requires Te in the other person I guess...I wish I had more of it...If they are Fe-heavy, they would try to communicate thru Fe and perhaps you might not pick up on it?
    They most likely are telling me via emotions...but I'm not picking up on it. I ignore my own and others emotions to make sure I'm being objective. I wouldn't want anything compromising the potential of a decision. Including my own bias.

    What stops someone with Fe from talking about their feelings? One would think it would be easy for someone that extroverts their feelings...?

    And I don't notice usually or pick up on things. If I do it's cause I know them very well. Thankfully I'm a 6 and like to keep the support of others in most cases. Otherwise...I'm not sure I'd care. I'm sure an 8 could be much more ruthless than me. I just try to figure out a person, and not do the worst thing that could happen between me an them.

    I probably pick up on heavy Fe, but they back pedal so much that I stop following the logic. (This is only with Fe doms.) Fe aux usually wont say anything unless they've formulated everything before hand. So they don't end up back pedaling as much. They're much easier to follow.

    ISFJ's are the most expressive type I've seen. They are the only ones I can pick up on if I've given any offense. Even then though, I don't like to assume. So I will ask.

    So Fi\Ti is more nuanced\ a custom made work of art whereas Fe\Te is more geared towards the generic mass-produced work of (pseudo)-art...
    Funny way of putting it....but I guess so. lol

    All the introverted functions are much more individualistic. That's the subjective part about them. They only have their context that they see, and they only have their own categories they've made...stuff like that. They're not willing to just take a concept/emotion/thought/sensation as face value. There is more depth to them than that. That's why introverts need so much time to themselves. They need to take time to process. It's gradual. Where the Extroverted functions are in the here and now. Absorbing and using the information immediately.

    So wrt the art... the introverted ones are like masterpieces they're creating over their life time, collecting just the right paint to use, or getting the correct texture down. The extroverted ones are creating the art out of what they have at the moment. So it can seem more like quantity over quality in a way. Like mass production I guess. (The extrovert's art metaphor is not quite right, I'll have to think about that some more.)
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  2. #42
    Member Array
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    Feb 2014


    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Why do you leave a pile of dishes unwashed in the first place though?
    You're assuming that everyone is in the habit of immediately washing all dishes. Some people may be in that habit, and it may even be a good habit to have, but there are plenty of people who don't.

    You are expecting the other party be more assertive about the problem whereas you could've easily become more proactive about it...
    Dishes aren't a problem. The problem is with the roommate who wants them to be washed, but either won't say anything about it or attacks the other person for not having complied with their secret wishes before being told what they are.

    Like "well, I won't be able to wash the dishes because of X, Y, Z....I should better give him/her a headsup so he/she won't get offended...and better make it up to him/her..."
    I can't think like this. At this point, you don't know what the roommate's emotional reaction to the dishes will be (or even if there will be a reaction at all). This sounds like a recipe for feeling miserable, always assuming that people will be offended by something and worrying about how to make it up to them when they may not have even noticed the situation at all...

    It sounds as if you are expecting the other party to initiate the negotiations whenever the latter perceives a problem...
    I think this is an entirely reasonable expectation. I can't see any other way of doing things that would work. If problems can't be expressed, they can't be solved.

    In either case, aren't you getting informed about the presence of the problem(s) despite the style of delivery? So (why) don't you do something to address the "dishes" problem as well as the "style of delivery" problem instead of allowing it to repeat and build-up?
    If that situation happened to me, I would see it as one problem, not two. Nevermind the dishes, they're insignificant, I've got a roommate who's being snide and passive-agressive. If I can't get them to stop that, I'm going to be rather miserable for as long as I have to live with this person.

  3. #43
    eating bugs out of hair. Array prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    I keep reading this as irrigated by tel
    by @magpie

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