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Fe users and processing emotions

Showbread

climb on
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Does anyone else, maybe F types in particular just feel like they get snowballed with emotions? When I hear something that makes me upset I just get overcome with a gross feeling that I then have to unpack layer by layer, usually by verbalizing it to someone else.
If I don't verbally process and unpack I just feel like I'm going to explode.

Is this a human thing? An "F" type thing? Or an Fe thing?
 

Ozones

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That must be hard. Its an F dom thing i assume, not a human thing.

I rarely feel emotions its pretty wild.
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
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I'm not Fe dom. Or, any F dom. But, I do have Fe in my line-up, so I can say that it has to fall within a very small range of things that people get emotional about for it to happen. Extremely serious abuse of children and being in a romantic relationship are the two that will cause me to have moments like the one you've described. Even then, though, I sometimes must be egged on (nagged?) to share at times. I process anger much easier than sadness, so I blow up in times that are extreme. Probably because I'm not a F dom.
 

á´…eparted

passages
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Fe-dom (recent convert, ha). This can happen, but I have trained myself to manage/deal with it. In some situations, I can choose to feel or not to feel. I REALLY don't like getting slammed with feelings over what I permit. But, it happens, and it drives me crazy when it does. I don't want that. It is unneeded and it only succeeds in getting in the way of things. If something triggers my feelings, omfg I feel it, a lot. My emotions are powerful and debilitating when they strike me. I can control the outward expression of it nearly all the time, but it still effects me. At worst, it can render me unable to get out of bed.

I very often feel the nagging urge to "talk to someone, aahhhhh I need to vent!" but I seldom ever do. I don't like doing it. It makes me feel like a terrible shitty person for dumping my unwarrented problems on someone else, who ultimately has to suffer hearing them, and any advice or support they offer usually ends in me shooting it down for a variety of reasons. As much as it hurts, I keep it to myself so it minimizes the effect on others; it's the fairest thing for me to do. The only time I do it is if I completely cave to the pressure, and even then I restrain it. In hindsight though, I find myself making small slips in this regard quite often. My need to talk to people about my experiences (the need to share) is rather high, and I do it without thinking usually.

Ultimately, I am really fucking moody. I hate hate hate haaaaaaaate this about myself... but it is what it is. I have an emotional reaction to almost all unexpected or important events.
 

cafe

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Vicarious stuff wrecks me. I can't handle watching suffering or reading about it. I avoid TV news and YA books/movies for that reason.

When stuff happens to me, I have to process it out loud. I need to make sense of it and find out where to put it so I can go on with my life. It will still niggle at me for years, but once I feel like I've found where it goes, I can function at least. I'm always doubting my perceptions and feeling like I'm missing something, etc.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
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I identify with feelings you've mentioned. Processing it aloud makes a huge difference for me. I can do it alone, but it takes a lot more time.
 

yeghor

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Whenever I feel bad about something, and it usually manifests itself as a tightening feeling in chest, I vent it out to trusted friends and get their feedback...I use them as a benchmark to re-calibrate myself...I guess I expel that bad feeling by doing that..

Though I feel bad afterwards cause that makes me feel as if I wasn't self-sufficient...as if I couldn't dissipate it on my own...

Another method I use during those times (for immediate relief) is to close my eyes and imagine the tight feeling in my chest as a dark energy\matter inside of me and then I gather it into a lump and visually send it away to ground or sun or someplace else that can neutralize it...That usually relieves immediate symptoms of feeling ill...Then I can analyze what made me feel bad in a more grounded manner...
 

xisnotx

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yeah that's why i post weird rants/monologues....then i get over it. feel like i'm going to explode...anger. sadness. hopelessness. those things are killing me :(

i always feel bad about feeling bad too...double whammy..
 

Amargith

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I tend to process things by myself for the most part, but I do scout for additional information. I won't necessarily share what is going on with me - though it definitely can be derived from my questioning by a perceptive person - but I'll ask people a what-if question to gain insight in how they would handle this topic or this kind of questioning. It gives me the intel I need, to then process on my own later and work things out. Doing it there, in front of someone, puts me too much on the spot and splits my focus in wanting to maintain a good conversation dynamic and focus on myself.

I do have some people that I do this in front of, but that's mostly when I feel safe enough in their hands; I know that I don't need to monitor the dynamic there and can just be..well the hot mess that I am at that moment. Most of the time all I need from them is a mirror or a sounding board in order to get the info I need to process.

Different method, same purpose, I guess. :shrug:
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I can get rather overwhelmed by external cues. If they fall along certain deep mental fault lines I feel more than I can bear. I long to connect and have someone show compassion and understanding, but I will more often flee to be alone so no one can see it. The vulnerability of needing to connect is what drives me to be alone when I am beyond processing further rejection.
 

Z Buck McFate

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In previous threads it’s been a somewhat regular occurrence for INFJs to represent the Fe pov, if only because we’re the only ones to show up for the discussion. So I am curious about where Fe doms- especially FeSi- stand on this.

There has been a common denominator established in the forum (at least, for NiFe) of needing to process feelings aloud to others primarily to assess how reasonable those feelings are. It’s like a means of keeping oneself in check, to make sure my own anger (or sadness, whatever) is there for the reason I think it is. Or that I'm at least in the correct ballpark. I personally am rarely in a hurry to figure out exactly what I’m feeling- but I am usually in a hurry to know why it’s there, whether the negative emotional charge behind it really is because of what I initially think it is. I believe this is so that I can know how to interact with what I believe to be the source of my discomfort in a fair manner.

I love this quote by Naranjo: “The superimposition of past on present is linked to persons and desires from the past which are not conscious for the subject and that give his or her conduct an irrational seal- the affect does not seem appropriate either in quality or quantity to the real, actual situation.” When I’m feeling any negative emotional charge, it becomes a priority to figure out if I'm assigning an appropriate source. This isn't about figuring out 'who to blame'- this is about figuring out if I'm angry/sad/whatever for the reason I think I am.

And really- that’s the only part I need feedback on, specifically the ‘why’. I don’t really need to work through anything aloud to figure out what I’m feeling. It's not that the 'what' isn't important, but I feel like I have lots of time to figure that out on my own- my priority is making sure I'm being fair and I can't really start working on the 'what' until the anxiety of 'why' has been taken care of. [It seems to me like FiPe/PeFi works in the opposite direction, that they feel anxiety until the 'what' has been relatively figured out?]
 

thoughtlost

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Idk.

Lately, I have been having strong feelings of guilt (actually, my roommate points this outs =P). Inadequacy, I guess. I notice it more when I am around people I fear I've let down or can't measure up to. It's definitely why I hate it when I think people have standards that I don't think I can meet (sort of like molding myself to match the other person, but I am afraid that I won't be able to do that successfully, or I do try and I still feel belittled). Anyway, I try to work it out by ...hiding or apologizing profusely ...but mostly hiding =P
 

yeghor

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Idk.

Lately, I have been having strong feelings of guilt (actually, my roommate points this outs =P). Inadequacy, I guess. I notice it more when I am around people I fear I've let down or can't measure up to. It's definitely why I hate it when I think people have standards that I don't think I can meet (sort of like molding myself to match the other person, but I am afraid that I won't be able to do that successfully, or I do try and I still feel belittled). Anyway, I try to work it out by ...hiding or apologizing profusely ...but mostly hiding =P

Your avatar reminded me of [MENTION=360]prplchknz[/MENTION]'s former avatar...?
 
G

garbage

Guest
Sorry for being a naysayer F, but I can't relate to this emotional stuff at all.

I virtually never feel negative emotions to the point that I have to vent out. Emotions are signals for something. Best for me to process 'em and move on.
 

Honor

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Does anyone else, maybe F types in particular just feel like they get snowballed with emotions? When I hear something that makes me upset I just get overcome with a gross feeling that I then have to unpack layer by layer, usually by verbalizing it to someone else.
If I don't verbally process and unpack I just feel like I'm going to explode.

Is this a human thing? An "F" type thing? Or an Fe thing?
Yes. I'm like this all the time about everything.
 

prplchknz

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wait a second, I was on this thread earlier and I could've sworn it was 8 pages. and now it's 2. what happened to the other 6 pages?
 

skylights

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Does anyone else, maybe F types in particular just feel like they get snowballed with emotions? When I hear something that makes me upset I just get overcome with a gross feeling

To this part, yeah, totally, all the time. If it's a distant issue from me I can mediate it well enough and just be like "oh that sucks" and not go into it too deep and feel it too viscerally. If it's something very close I might become overwhelmed with emotion for a short period of time. I think this is an F thing.

I then have to unpack layer by layer, usually by verbalizing it to someone else.
If I don't verbally process and unpack I just feel like I'm going to explode.

This happens to me with situations I haven't fully figured out that are particularly disturbing to me, and then I have to go like you said, layer by layer, to try to get at whatever I'm "missing" and don't understand.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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My ENFP has a difficult time watching TV shows or documentaries that he considers depressing or sad. Bad things happening to people (struggles) even if there is a bigger picture of courage, etc. Mainly, those things are elements of humanity and sometimes I find visiting those things in motion picture/informative form to be fascinating rather than draining.

I don't "feel" what I watch. He does.

Same for real life situations. It just really affects him.

Only *once* have I felt an internal...vibration of disgust/immense weight of sadness. It was upon reading about genocide and detailed acts committed in the words of guerrilla leaders. They took pleasure in their actions and I just thought about those acts and put myself as a witness to it. The feeling shocked me. I stopped and wondered at it because it was so foreign. So if that is how F's process emotions all the time - getting hit with a wall of emotion like that - holy crap that is intense.

I guess most times my thought and emotions aren't connected directly. I have to intentionally concentrate and "go there".
 

á´…eparted

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My ENFP has a difficult time watching TV shows or documentaries that he considers depressing or sad. Bad things happening to people (struggles) even if there is a bigger picture of courage, etc.

This is a huge reason why I am not a movie person; I relate to him.

When I watch movies I will get wrapped up in it, and my emotions will go on a roller coaster if I don't know what is going to happen. Most movies I see for the first time I will flat out refuse to watch without reading the entire plot beforehand. It pissed my friend off A LOT when I did that last year, they just couldn't fathom it claiming I'd ruin the movie. Yeah, but I don't care. I didn't want to watch it in the first place. Knowing what is going to happen can soften the blow. Movies where there is constant stress, people being forced to make nasty decisions, or are just filled with discomfort can be so stressful. I have gotten way better and can learn to detach in some situations, mostly by not watching "i.e. staring at the wall thinking of something else". But I can't always. Movies get to me more than anything because of how much focus is placed on objects, people, sounds, lights etc. I can't choose on what to focus on. I am forced to see and react in a way they want the viewer to. They are attempting to incite an emotional response. Even if I CAN ignore it, it takes a lot of mental energy.

One of the worst experiences I ever had was seeing the first hunger games when it came out. I didn't want to see it, at all, I KNEW it would mess me up from reading the plot. But, circumstances were such that I couldn't avoid it. Long story short, the movie triggered a depressive episode that lasted about a month. For a few days after the movie, I could barely eat or leave the house I was so distraught. The sheer premise of the movie is distubing. Kids fighting to the death? Their society is forced to deal, and many like it? NO. It also hit way too close to home with worries (at the time) I couldn't let go of regarding the state of the world. It was horrible. I mean, the movie is great, but it fucked me up so much. I felt every stress the characters felt, the entire world just screamed "WRONG" at me over and over and over and I could do nothing to stop it, yet it was realistic enough to be a valid future scenario.

So yeah, I don't like movies, or TV shows, or anything else that incites responses like this. I'll pass.
 
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