Losing/Breaking possessions and inferior Se

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Si-inf, and same story.

Can we attribute it to a crap Sensing function rather than only inferior Se??

 

[Amargith]

I walk into doorways and other objects so often that I have at least one bruise at all time on my body without even realising it. I break and drop things more than most people, and Im an expert at disappearing stuff. And my INTj aint much better, unfortunately

Funny thing is, when either one of us has lost something, we'll enlist the other. He'll ask me where I last was and go check out that area - I am notorious for not seeing something, even after searching the spot it was at 4 times, and I'll ask him when he last used it, as it tends to trigger my memory on seeing it somewhere, having used it myself, having cleaned it away or whatever since he is notorious for having a *really* lousy memory. Typically, he is the one actively looking for stuff - and thank god he gets that this is not how I work - while I stand still in the middle of the room, remembering each step the thing was used and where it logically ended up after that. His active searching actually helps me as it triggers specific memories about the place he is looking at and what happened next there. Objects that get used sporadically tend to be found my way, objects that are used on a daily basis and therefore have too many memories attached to them to pinpoint get found by him actively and deductively looking

It's kind of like the blind leading the blind, and drives my ISFJ mom crazy when she sees it in action

 

[greenfairy]

Si-inf, and same story.

Can we attribute it to a crap Sensing function rather than only inferior Se??

Sounds reasonable.

 

[valaki]

I have a history of losing and breaking things, and when I was young my dad would always scold and judge me for it, saying he wouldn't buy me stuff if I wouldn't take care of it. I've gotten a lot better at keeping up with things (I haven't lost anything important in several years) and taking care of them, and I also just started not telling him when things happen. Today I left my purse on top of the car and drove off with it. Fortunately I found it, but unfortunately my Kindle is ruined because it got run over by a car. I tried my absolute best to take care of that thing, and my purse. And my camera, until the one time I didn't loop my wrist through the string attached when getting it out of the case I dropped it.

The point is that I feel like I drop and break things more than the average person, and I attribute this to inferior Se. But I knwo everyone does sometimes, so my question is, how much of this is me? How much is inferior Se? Is there a particular type or set of types which just happens to always be able to take good care of their belongings and never break things? My dad is an INTJ, so it should happen to him to some degree too; maybe he gets mad because he gets mad at himself when it happens.

I'm not clumsy at all when going around. No bumping into stuff much, no tripping over shit even when there's a lot of mess in the room. I don't really drop things unless very tired or something, then sometimes it might happen that I drop some small object. Nothing delicate is dropped usually even then though. That's because part of my attention automatically goes to these things on a subconscious level. I assume that's how it works for most people too. Maybe not for you N's though Because yeah if your mind is very busy with some idea or fantasy it could be too much load on your attention management. Though maybe it's not just that. Because, in my case if I'm into thinking about whatever and then something in the external world comes up that needs close attention, I will automatically switch my full attention to it, the thought I was thinking about gets put on hold automatically and seamlessly, including continuing with it when my attention is available for it again. I cannot say if this is type or S/N function related. I'm curious to hear from others though.

As for taking care of belongings in general, I usually don't cause much wear and tear to my stuff. I'm actually pretty good at this in general. I do tend to put too much power into my movements of grabbing and manipulating some things but I know not to break stuff, e.g. when it's a delicate object, I pay extra attention. I know the limits automatically and instinctually. I'm not a very organized person otherwise, though certain important things do have their place but even that place is assigned to them by improvisation. There isn't a lot of logic to it other than a bit of spatial "logic" on top of the spontaneity in assigning the place. And over time the assigned place will change to some other place even without me trying I relate to [MENTION=14015]Urarienev[/MENTION] about the impatience about not finding something. That's why I assign a place to important stuff. If it's only out of impatience I don't think that has to be J though...

I don't really like to lose things. I'm attached to my stuff. Though, as a kid I lost some valuable items, not often, maybe once every couple of years. Well some of it was valuable only to my parents but when it was valuable to me, I would throw a crazy tantrum. Hell I would do it even in public. I guess that emotional reaction helped condition me because as I got older these accidents stopped happening. Though even as a teenager I used to lose umbrellas etc small stuff on buses I no longer do that now, I keep the umbrella close to me and that works. And if I'm traveling, I basically have a habit of keeping my bag(s) attached on me even when sitting down on the bus/train/seat in restaurant/etc. With umbrellas, I'm a bit more laid back about it (it's just a small item after all) but my instinct about remembering it before getting off/leaving the place still works

I mentioned instinct right? That's also what prevents me from being too forgetful in general, e.g. I think of something that needs to be done, then if I think of something else for whatever reason, my instinct will fire off not much later reminding me that I wanted something else too. Or if I know I need to go somewhere at a given time on a given day, it works for that too. And I suppose it helps me keep the important things in their currently assigned place Management of objects in general. Etc. etc.

Maybe I just described the normal non-crazy-non-N-dom type's workings now? Though I'm sure the part about my improvisations isn't THAT normal... to SJ's for example

 

[greenfairy]

[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION]: Thanks for your response, it's nice to hear things from an Se-Ni point of view. One of my ISFP guys seems like this; he told me recently he has never broken a bone or been badly hurt, and I don't know of him ever losing or breaking things. My other ISFP friend leaves things at my house all the time, but he's not clumsy at all.

I do think where your conscious attention goes is tied to S/N. I know I am easily distracted by things I see and hear, but I don't automatically know what I should pay attention to and why- it's all rather chaotic and disorganized. I could be looking at a bird and walk into someone. I have very little sense of how hard to throw something or what voice volume is appropriate or where I am in relation to other people and objects in the environment, because my conscious attention is always automatically on something I'm thinking (with Se stuff in the background) unless I consciously recognize it should go to what I'm experiencing with my senses.

 

[valaki]

[MENTION=20622]valaki[/MENTION]: Thanks for your response, it's nice to hear things from an Se-Ni point of view. One of my ISFP guys seems like this; he told me recently he has never broken a bone or been badly hurt, and I don't know of him ever losing or breaking things. My other ISFP friend leaves things at my house all the time, but he's not clumsy at all.

I actually had my finger broken in basketball when I was 13.

I do think where your conscious attention goes is tied to S/N. I know I am easily distracted by things I see and hear, but I don't automatically know what I should pay attention to and why- it's all rather chaotic and disorganized.

Yeah I would say my way of paying attention isn't chaotic at all in this sense.

I could be looking at a bird and walk into someone.

Oh that's another thing that I usually manage automatically. I'd have to be staring at something for longer than usual to experience difficulty in management of that situation. Usually it's managed smoothly, I switch back to looking at whatever after having dealt with the other stuff that came up (e.g. someone walking towards me in my way). If I were to consciously force myself to stare at something longer than what this automatic management would have me doing, that's when it could be a problem. I'm on autopilot most of the time really

I have very little sense of how hard to throw something or what voice volume is appropriate or where I am in relation to other people and objects in the environment, because my conscious attention is always automatically on something I'm thinking (with Se stuff in the background) unless I consciously recognize it should go to what I'm experiencing with my senses.

Do you ever try and NOT think? How does it feel if you do that?

 

[OrangeAppled]

I lose things easily - thought this was some inferior Te disorganization.
I also knock into objects easily & drop stuff. Just thought this was being clumsy, but there is an absent-minded aspect & not being in-touch with my physical self that might be sensing-tardation .

 

[greenfairy]

Do you ever try and NOT think? How does it feel if you do that?

I can't manage it for longer than like a second before i start thinking about the fact that i haven't been thinking and how nice it is and then analyzing the process; the most I can do is experience sensory novelty and make a conscious effort to keep bringing my attention to the present moment and what I'm experiencing and just thinking less often. But then I'm probably in my head more than most people, even INXJ's.

I lose things easily - thought this was some inferior Te disorganization.
I also knock into objects easily & drop stuff. Just thought this was being clumsy, but there is an absent-minded aspect & not being in-touch with my physical self that might be sensing-tardation .

I have noticed INFP's tend to have a certain special kind of absent-mindedness. Maybe just N+Ji dom?

 

[cafe]

My INTP hubby and I are both bad about losing things. Over time he's gotten pretty good about sticking to systems that help him not lose things. I'm still so-so with it. Usually if something of mine gets broken it's because I 'lost' it. Like, I left it in my pocket and washed it or it fell out of my pocket and I ran it over.

I got a hard case and a soft keyboard cover for my laptop to help protect it from me and I usually don't take it places with me because I really love it and can't afford to replace it. I'm careful not to lose my clothes into the family's laundry. I do tend to spill and/or splash things on my clothes, so I try to remember to use an apron when I cook or wash dishes. I've always been very messy.

 

[cascadeco]

it's nice to hear things from an Se-Ni point of view. One of my ISFP guys seems like this; he told me recently he has never broken a bone or been badly hurt, and I don't know of him ever losing or breaking things. My other ISFP friend leaves things at my house all the time, but he's not clumsy at all.

Up until 5 years ago, I hadn't ever broken a bone; and the one I did break was my pinky toe, because I was excited about homemade pizza my roommate was making and I was doing a little dance out of my bedroom and I kicked the doorframe really hard via my flailing silly dance moves. I now hope that my typing this does not jinx myself! haha.

I can't relate to breaking things; I think it has happened, like the accidental dropping of a glass once, or a few other things like that over my lifetime, but otherwise, yeah, I don't break things.

I sucked at team sports growing up, in the coordination / fast-object-too-much-going-on sense, but I'm highly coordinated and spatially aware/balanced in an individual sense, when it comes to climbing, dancing, hiking, things like that, whatnot. (aside from my broken toe incident ) It's happened enough times that I've noticed it, that I can start dropping something / something starts slipping off a table and I somehow immediately catch it/notice it in time.

Re. losing things, I don't think it's a huge issue for me. tbh I can only think of one thing I've lost. I probably lose things less often than the average person. I can't think of major things I have lost/misplaced. The only time I 'lose' things is the not-super-infrequent momentarily thing, where I'm walking from one room to another with, say, a pen, and a put it somewhere, am thinking/suddenly do something else, then sometimes it can take me like a minute or so to find the stupid pen.

I do think where your conscious attention goes is tied to S/N. I know I am easily distracted by things I see and hear, but I don't automatically know what I should pay attention to and why- it's all rather chaotic and disorganized.

I'm distracted by unpredictable sporadic noises, say, annoying neighbors making periodic noise in apartment above me, as that's jarring. But being out and about in the world, I can't say I can relate to 'not knowing what I should pay attention to'. Like most people if I'm in my head daydreaming as I'm walking, I'll miss a lot of stuff. While at the same time... not be bumping into people or anything. So maybe I'm hyper-aware of what I feel I need to be aware of / what's in my immediate proximity. When out hiking, traveling, whatnot, being aware of surroundings has come over time, and, again not jarring or distracting or anything. The only types of things I prob. find distracting/jarring when out and about have to do w/ conflict, people arguing, mass transit and some city elements can make me nervous due to what I sense as possible danger/stuff to keep an eye on.

 

[1487610420]

Up until 5 years ago, I hadn't ever broken a bone; and the one I did break was my pinky toe, because I was excited about homemade pizza my roommate was making and I was doing a little dance out of my bedroom and I kicked the doorframe really hard via my flailing silly dance moves. I now hope that my typing this does not jinx myself! haha.

I can't relate to breaking things; I think it has happened, like the accidental dropping of a glass once, or a few other things like that over my lifetime, but otherwise, yeah, I don't break things.

I sucked at team sports growing up, in the coordination / fast-object-too-much-going-on sense, but I'm highly coordinated and spatially aware/balanced in an individual sense, when it comes to climbing, dancing, hiking, things like that, whatnot. (aside from my broken toe incident ) It's happened enough times that I've noticed it, that I can start dropping something / something starts slipping off a table and I somehow immediately catch it/notice it in time.

Re. losing things, I don't think it's a huge issue for me. tbh I can only think of one thing I've lost. I probably lose things less often than the average person. I can't think of major things I have lost/misplaced. The only time I 'lose' things is the not-super-infrequent momentarily thing, where I'm walking from one room to another with, say, a pen, and a put it somewhere, am thinking/suddenly do something else, then sometimes it can take me like a minute or so to find the stupid pen.



I'm distracted by unpredictable sporadic noises, say, annoying neighbors making periodic noise in apartment above me, as that's jarring. But being out and about in the world, I can't say I can relate to 'not knowing what I should pay attention to'. Like most people if I'm in my head daydreaming as I'm walking, I'll miss a lot of stuff. While at the same time... not be bumping into people or anything. So maybe I'm hyper-aware of what I feel I need to be aware of / what's in my immediate proximity. When out hiking, traveling, whatnot, being aware of surroundings has come over time, and, again not jarring or distracting or anything. The only types of things I prob. find distracting/jarring when out and about have to do w/ conflict, people arguing, mass transit and some city elements can make me nervous due to what I sense as possible danger/stuff to keep an eye on.

So in summary, you have no Si, aka bad memory.

 

[greenfairy]

I sucked at team sports growing up, in the coordination / fast-object-too-much-going-on sense, but I'm highly coordinated and spatially aware/balanced in an individual sense, when it comes to climbing, dancing, hiking, things like that, whatnot. (aside from my broken toe incident ) It's happened enough times that I've noticed it, that I can start dropping something / something starts slipping off a table and I somehow immediately catch it/notice it in time.

All this could apply to me too. I thought Se was about the fast-paced-object-too-much-going-on stuff, but maybe some Se users aren't good at it. I think you had INFJ as your type once, but the rest of your post correlates with what I think about ISFP (and of course you know your type better than I).

So in summary, you have no Si, aka bad memory.

How do you figure, the misplacing things?

 

[valaki]

I can't manage it for longer than like a second before i start thinking about the fact that i haven't been thinking and how nice it is and then analyzing the process;

Lol that's crazy

But I see at least that one second feels nice then

All this could apply to me too. I thought Se was about the fast-paced-object-too-much-going-on stuff, but maybe some Se users aren't good at it.

I think it just needs practice. If I didn't do these sort of games for a while I'll feel I need practice to get good at it again.