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  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    I absolutely adored this feedback, I'm not terribly sad right now. But in my moments I sure as hell feel like it. When I get upset, it's so hard to tell myself it's not the end of the world. Lol. It's like I feel as if I can't turn back. But realizing my emotions more clearly, I think I'm starting to be able to step back and view myself. So basically I just need to be real with myself at all times? Because I'll convince myself lies other wise. Yeah, I do need to be vulnerable because I'm not good at hiding away how I really feel. MAJOR TIME BOMB. Or, I just need to express it in a way that won't be negative.

    This was really enlightening, and very helpful coming from another ENFP. Thank you so much!
    You are so welcome! I love talking about these things. I feel like us sharing with each other can be healing for both of us. I still have a hard time being objective and steady when I'm feeling sad or angry myself, I think to some degree it's just part of being an ENFP. For me having others around who are more stable and logical is very helpful, they help pull me out of myself. I still am working on being better at self-regulation - I know it's not fair or healthy to depend on others - but it does help me see how to do it.

    I'm not very good at hiding what I feel either, and I used to be super insecure about that, but ever since I had to take on a leadership position at work and it became useful I've kind of gotten more accepting of it. Apparently I send a lot of non-verbal signals that are helpful in cuing other people. And while I think that being able to hide my feelings better would make me more mysterious and elegant, I think it'd also make me less approachable and less open, and people say they like those things about me because they make me seem (which I am) very accepting of others. Because of this others feel comfortable sharing their hopes and dreams and fears and passions with me, and that's so valuable to me. It's like my lifeblood. I can't imagine life being nearly as rich or meaningful if people didn't share those things with me. I just try to make sure that I express my feelings fairly according to the situation, and don't hurt people unintentionally. Sometimes at work I am aggravated, but I try to analyze the situation to ensure that I am aggravated with the accurate person for doing the exact thing that created an injustice. And more and more lately I try to channel that aggravation into standing up for myself and others, instead of just venting it everywhere. Trying to use it productively, you know?

    As a related aside, I just read that there is some evidence that depressed moods can be especially conducive to increase creativity. So next time you're sad... might want to try breaking out some sad music and some colored pencils or paints or yarn or whatever and go to. I'm going to try this, too. I figure it's better than wallowing, at least!

  2. #12
    LadyLazarus
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Well, It's been a day since I've joined and I'm all over these forums. SUPER impulsively.

    sweet/rad/sick

    Anyways, I'm a very unhealthy ENFP. I was once very successful in my young life, and I've seem to lose sight of whom that person was. I feel like I've been 3 different people in the process of 17 years.

    Examples: ages 4-15 I was very bubbly, super ignorant and very positive, class clown, class president, spoke up to anything I thought was morally wrong. I was more happy, then being obnoxious and less liked than I am now. Kind of like the little mermaid ENFP. I had nothing to lose, I suppose. Major problems during this time was my insecurities with myself my whole life. I was always over weight, and my family was too. So, my extreme ENFP 'shock factor' side came from my insecurities from my physical appearance. Something ENFPs don't want to extremely value but do anyways. My dad is also a very unhealthy ENFP he has been his whole life, often having temper tantrums that resemble cartoon ones. He looks so funny when he freaks out, but it's actually very serious and the weirdest most hateful feeling I've ever experienced. I don't want to get into too much details, but he is insane, and I never wanted to be like him, and I turned out to be.

    15-16
    I was bulimic, lost a lot of weight gained it back x2 lost 30 pounds again. These two years were the most depressing years of my life. I felt crazy, and I knew I was crazy even if I did recognize it...because I had really odd fantasized plans to stop it, that would never work. I was hospitalized for depression 4 times in these years. I became very cynical, way too cynical. I attempted to be sadistic but it did not work at all. I just hurt myself more because I really can not hurt others, I've tried. The only things that saved me were drugs, mostly psychedelics. I buried myself into a another unhealthy ENFP boy who I fell in love with. I was very over self confident during this time or extremely introverted. My love life drained me, I stopped going to school for 3 months. I didn't leave my bed for a month.

    I really don't know what hit me in may of 2013 but I wanted to live... LOL. So, I got out of bed, made up credits, enrolled in a therapeutic high school, devoted my whole summer to losing weight a healthy way ( the 30 pounds) and avoided all contact with my unhealthy ENFP crush/lover thing. When September came I started up in the therapeutic High School again, and decided to get into holistic healing and yoga, I checked out a DBT therapy group and did that for 8 weeks in the fall. I was prescribed a ADHD medicine that helped me 20x better than any antidepressants did. I work out 3 times a week or more and lost 10 more pounds since summer. In December of 2013 I turned 17.

    17: I now perform improv, and i am the youngest in the troop everyone else is 24+ and just started Dual enrollment for a local community college in my area. I'm taking a math class and English.

    What I'M FINALLY TRYING TO GET AT IS.... I'm so mad at the world all the time that it physically hurts. I have emotional break downs everyday and feel so stupid. (yes I am highly aware of my progress) I just feel like i'm not going to be able to commit to all of this, and I'm going to crash and burn again very roughly. I can never focus on what I want to do anymore, and I feel as if I'll never really be able to relax and function properly again. I feel like a huge time bomb. I'm a super bitch to everyone I meet lately, just because no one interests me with their petty small talk. It bothers me more than you think.

    "hey, can you believe its snowing?"

    My thoughts: NO SHIT, YOU'RE SO STUPID. ITS WINTER... OF COURSE IT IS SNOWING DUMB SHIT. LEAVE ME ALONE.

    "yeah I can, it is winter! haha!"

    I'm honestly so bothered by petty problems that it is A HUGE PROBLEM. I'm trying to be so positive lately, its sickening. This is actually the first time since May, I've admitted I'm struggling. Right now I'm letting my happy mask down, and being way too negative. I just feel SO UNGRATEFUL AND SO SELFISH, AND ITS A CONSTANT REPEATING CYCLE. FEEL BAD, THINK IM A BAD PERSON, DO BAD THINGS, FEEL BAD AGAIN. ETC.

    I just want to be a bad ass, and the little mermaid at the same time... damn.

    I have a therapist, my parents know about my actions, I know how to keep moving on. I just want some advice about how to stop the unhealthy ENFP cycle.

    (I don't do drugs anymore, I smoke but rarely at this point because I have to pay for school and I have no cash, awesome. same with drinking)
    (I've had a brain scan, my brain is miraculously fine as well, I don't suffer from any mental illnesses besides clinical depression and clinical anxiety, I've been tested numerous times for Bipolar, and Schizophrenia)

    This is super dramatic, and I'm so sorry if this overwhelms you. I just need to see some ENFP advice, from any types to be completely honest. if you feel uncomfortable posting this to a thread you can privately message me.
    First of all,I'd like to commend you on pulling yourself out of your downward spiral,that took a lot of strength,congratulations.

    Secondly,you need to trust yourself,recognize that you where strong enough to pull yourself out of depression and realize that you needed help, all by yourself.Recognize that many people do not possess this sort of strength or conviction.Trust that you will be strong enough to endure,summon up that conviction once more.

    All in all,life is fucking hard,but in the end I believe that's what gives it value.

    From what I've seen you seem extremely resilient,so know that it's fine to slip up every once in a while,you're human after all,but be confident that you will bounce back no matter what.

    You also seem like a pretty smart kid,you've cut out unhealthy influences,got off drugs,and are focusing on your education,all signs of good judgement.

    C'mon give yourself some credit,relax you can keep this up.

    I'm just a bit older than you,so I understand that this period in life is a hard one,everyone feels unstable and anxious,so it's normal to be moody and angry.After what you've been through,it might be especially amplified.

    After years of being treated like a child,you are suddenly thrust into adulthood,to put it frankly; it's terrifying.

    The important thing is to relax and remain strong,someday like the other phases of our lives,this period will pass,as you gain stability within adulthood.

    From an MBTI perspective,I also understand that being a Fi dom/aux is hard,you are very aware of your feelings,for better or worse,therefore making it very hard to brush them aside.They're always there in the back of your head,it can make you feel just a little nuts sometimes.

    In addition,don't worry about being a bad ass and/or the little mermaid,just be yourself and understand there are different kinds of strength.I get it, I want to be everything (gentle,tough,kind,mean,etc)all at the same time and it drives me up the wall as well.

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Well, It's been a day since I've joined and I'm all over these forums. SUPER impulsively.

    sweet/rad/sick

    Anyways, I'm a very unhealthy ENFP. I was once very successful in my young life, and I've seem to lose sight of whom that person was. I feel like I've been 3 different people in the process of 17 years.

    Examples: ages 4-15 I was very bubbly, super ignorant and very positive, class clown, class president, spoke up to anything I thought was morally wrong. I was more happy, then being obnoxious and less liked than I am now. Kind of like the little mermaid ENFP. I had nothing to lose, I suppose. Major problems during this time was my insecurities with myself my whole life. I was always over weight, and my family was too. So, my extreme ENFP 'shock factor' side came from my insecurities from my physical appearance. Something ENFPs don't want to extremely value but do anyways. My dad is also a very unhealthy ENFP he has been his whole life, often having temper tantrums that resemble cartoon ones. He looks so funny when he freaks out, but it's actually very serious and the weirdest most hateful feeling I've ever experienced. I don't want to get into too much details, but he is insane, and I never wanted to be like him, and I turned out to be.

    15-16
    I was bulimic, lost a lot of weight gained it back x2 lost 30 pounds again. These two years were the most depressing years of my life. I felt crazy, and I knew I was crazy even if I did recognize it...because I had really odd fantasized plans to stop it, that would never work. I was hospitalized for depression 4 times in these years. I became very cynical, way too cynical. I attempted to be sadistic but it did not work at all. I just hurt myself more because I really can not hurt others, I've tried. The only things that saved me were drugs, mostly psychedelics. I buried myself into a another unhealthy ENFP boy who I fell in love with. I was very over self confident during this time or extremely introverted. My love life drained me, I stopped going to school for 3 months. I didn't leave my bed for a month.

    I really don't know what hit me in may of 2013 but I wanted to live... LOL. So, I got out of bed, made up credits, enrolled in a therapeutic high school, devoted my whole summer to losing weight a healthy way ( the 30 pounds) and avoided all contact with my unhealthy ENFP crush/lover thing. When September came I started up in the therapeutic High School again, and decided to get into holistic healing and yoga, I checked out a DBT therapy group and did that for 8 weeks in the fall. I was prescribed a ADHD medicine that helped me 20x better than any antidepressants did. I work out 3 times a week or more and lost 10 more pounds since summer. In December of 2013 I turned 17.

    17: I now perform improv, and i am the youngest in the troop everyone else is 24+ and just started Dual enrollment for a local community college in my area. I'm taking a math class and English.

    What I'M FINALLY TRYING TO GET AT IS.... I'm so mad at the world all the time that it physically hurts. I have emotional break downs everyday and feel so stupid. (yes I am highly aware of my progress) I just feel like i'm not going to be able to commit to all of this, and I'm going to crash and burn again very roughly. I can never focus on what I want to do anymore, and I feel as if I'll never really be able to relax and function properly again. I feel like a huge time bomb. I'm a super bitch to everyone I meet lately, just because no one interests me with their petty small talk. It bothers me more than you think.

    "hey, can you believe its snowing?"

    My thoughts: NO SHIT, YOU'RE SO STUPID. ITS WINTER... OF COURSE IT IS SNOWING DUMB SHIT. LEAVE ME ALONE.

    "yeah I can, it is winter! haha!"

    I'm honestly so bothered by petty problems that it is A HUGE PROBLEM. I'm trying to be so positive lately, its sickening. This is actually the first time since May, I've admitted I'm struggling. Right now I'm letting my happy mask down, and being way too negative. I just feel SO UNGRATEFUL AND SO SELFISH, AND ITS A CONSTANT REPEATING CYCLE. FEEL BAD, THINK IM A BAD PERSON, DO BAD THINGS, FEEL BAD AGAIN. ETC.

    I just want to be a bad ass, and the little mermaid at the same time... damn.

    I have a therapist, my parents know about my actions, I know how to keep moving on. I just want some advice about how to stop the unhealthy ENFP cycle.

    (I don't do drugs anymore, I smoke but rarely at this point because I have to pay for school and I have no cash, awesome. same with drinking)
    (I've had a brain scan, my brain is miraculously fine as well, I don't suffer from any mental illnesses besides clinical depression and clinical anxiety, I've been tested numerous times for Bipolar, and Schizophrenia)

    This is super dramatic, and I'm so sorry if this overwhelms you. I just need to see some ENFP advice, from any types to be completely honest. if you feel uncomfortable posting this to a thread you can privately message me.
    Lol this is so much like me ... How did you lost the weight with mia? I did it for freaking 2 years (15-16) and lost like 5lbs mabye... The only thing that worked for me was not eating and then I finally lost 30 lbs and got to around 96 lbs... And how were you with psychadelic drugs? With my psyche I ended up having a panic attacks over and over when I tried this. It sucks ass when you know you're not okay and take this. I also started to get my life back when I was 17, I lost my best friend when I told her I was bulimic and then I just overdosed on pain killing pills and aclohol...I spent the whole night with my head in a toliet, but yeah (ouch) I survived... It's was like a slap I needed, sometimes you just need a hard slap right in the face to be really able to change something in your life. Take care, you're not alone in this

  4. #14
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    You are so welcome! I love talking about these things. I feel like us sharing with each other can be healing for both of us. I still have a hard time being objective and steady when I'm feeling sad or angry myself, I think to some degree it's just part of being an ENFP. For me having others around who are more stable and logical is very helpful, they help pull me out of myself. I still am working on being better at self-regulation - I know it's not fair or healthy to depend on others - but it does help me see how to do it.

    I'm not very good at hiding what I feel either, and I used to be super insecure about that, but ever since I had to take on a leadership position at work and it became useful I've kind of gotten more accepting of it. Apparently I send a lot of non-verbal signals that are helpful in cuing other people. And while I think that being able to hide my feelings better would make me more mysterious and elegant, I think it'd also make me less approachable and less open, and people say they like those things about me because they make me seem (which I am) very accepting of others. Because of this others feel comfortable sharing their hopes and dreams and fears and passions with me, and that's so valuable to me. It's like my lifeblood. I can't imagine life being nearly as rich or meaningful if people didn't share those things with me. I just try to make sure that I express my feelings fairly according to the situation, and don't hurt people unintentionally. Sometimes at work I am aggravated, but I try to analyze the situation to ensure that I am aggravated with the accurate person for doing the exact thing that created an injustice. And more and more lately I try to channel that aggravation into standing up for myself and others, instead of just venting it everywhere. Trying to use it productively, you know?

    As a related aside, I just read that there is some evidence that depressed moods can be especially conducive to increase creativity. So next time you're sad... might want to try breaking out some sad music and some colored pencils or paints or yarn or whatever and go to. I'm going to try this, too. I figure it's better than wallowing, at least!

    You give really empathetic and great examples, I can apply thank you! If you ever need to vent or need advice from a 17 year old, I'm here! I really appreciate all the advice you've given me c:
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  5. #15
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsunderes View Post
    First of all,I'd like to commend you on pulling yourself out of your downward spiral,that took a lot of strength,congratulations.

    Secondly,you need to trust yourself,recognize that you where strong enough to pull yourself out of depression and realize that you needed help, all by yourself.Recognize that many people do not possess this sort of strength or conviction.Trust that you will be strong enough to endure,summon up that conviction once more.

    All in all,life is fucking hard,but in the end I believe that's what gives it value.

    From what I've seen you seem extremely resilient,so know that it's fine to slip up every once in a while,you're human after all,but be confident that you will bounce back no matter what.

    You also seem like a pretty smart kid,you've cut out unhealthy influences,got off drugs,and are focusing on your education,all signs of good judgement.

    C'mon give yourself some credit,relax you can keep this up.

    I'm just a bit older than you,so I understand that this period in life is a hard one,everyone feels unstable and anxious,so it's normal to be moody and angry.After what you've been through,it might be especially amplified.

    After years of being treated like a child,you are suddenly thrust into adulthood,to put it frankly; it's terrifying.

    The important thing is to relax and remain strong,someday like the other phases of our lives,this period will pass,as you gain stability within adulthood.

    From an MBTI perspective,I also understand that being a Fi dom/aux is hard,you are very aware of your feelings,for better or worse,therefore making it very hard to brush them aside.They're always there in the back of your head,it can make you feel just a little nuts sometimes.

    In addition,don't worry about being a bad ass and/or the little mermaid,just be yourself and understand there are different kinds of strength.I get it, I want to be everything (gentle,tough,kind,mean,etc)all at the same time and it drives me up the wall as well.
    Yeah, I was talking about that today actually.
    me: "So, when you turn 18 do you magically gain responsibility, leadership, logic and confidence? How the hell am I suppose to know how to be adult if i'm 8-TEEN."
    My "teacher: stop worrying, you'll be fine"
    me: "oh, awesome thanks"

    Thank you for your input, and Thank you for commending my struggles it means a lot. So basically I just need to take a breather and think about things...MAKES SENSE.
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  6. #16
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SophiaDeep View Post
    Lol this is so much like me ... How did you lost the weight with mia? I did it for freaking 2 years (15-16) and lost like 5lbs mabye... The only thing that worked for me was not eating and then I finally lost 30 lbs and got to around 96 lbs... And how were you with psychadelic drugs? With my psyche I ended up having a panic attacks over and over when I tried this. It sucks ass when you know you're not okay and take this. I also started to get my life back when I was 17, I lost my best friend when I told her I was bulimic and then I just overdosed on pain killing pills and aclohol...I spent the whole night with my head in a toliet, but yeah (ouch) I survived... It's was like a slap I needed, sometimes you just need a hard slap right in the face to be really able to change something in your life. Take care, you're not alone in this
    You're a weirdo too? I was probably a lot bigger than you, and we all have different body types and metabolisms so that plays a factor. It's 80% diet and 20% exercise I couldn't give up all my favorite foods, thats just silly and my Americanized body is legitimately programmed to crave carbs...so giving up a lot of my favorite food wasn't an option. I just tricked my mind, by making healthier recipes and cutting down in portion size, and snacking A LOT. I snack up to 9 times a day, and my meals are so little because i'm full! And I would treat myself to junk food once a week because I exercise 3-4 times a week for about a 1hr-2hrs depending on the day, and how up to it I felt. And some weeks I don't exercise, ( like this week ) but I still have that one day, it really doesn't affect my weight. I still had to eat way more fruit and veggies though, and moderate them in. It's basically all about balance. And bread kills you, omg honestly it's worse than candy bars I swear to god.

    I was fine with psychedelic drugs, a little too fine. If I did them in this period of my life I would have a panic attack for sure, because I actually care about things LOL. the whole trick to them is just not too care, and not worry...because if you have a thought racing mind it's going to amplify those panicky thoughts x12. I was SEVERELY depressed when I messed around with them, and it actually affected me in a very positive way. but I'm not condoning drugs, or saying do them, like you said it damaged your psyche and could do the same to others, I was just purely lucky...I don't really want to discuss this topic openly lol just because I don't want to influence/offend anyone

    Yeah, I've been there with pills and alcohol as well and I've had my fair share of "obnoxiously trashed nights" I REGRET immensely especially at my young age. I had a huge slap in the face when I realized the things I was experimenting with for creativity ( SO IGNORANTLY) were damaging me completely, and I was going no where. And I had to start at square one again...but thats life.

    message me if you ever want to talk! we seem to relate through past experinces
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  7. #17
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    @labyrinth_perhaps

    I like the structure, I tend to do that when I monologue to others.

  8. #18
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    @labyrinth_perhaps

    I like the structure, I tend to do that when I monologue to others.
    huh? hahaha what?
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    huh? hahaha what?

    When I talk about my problems to somebody, I tend to go very deep about my whole life like that haha.

  10. #20
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    When I talk about my problems to somebody, I tend to go very deep about my whole life like that haha.
    OH! I totally was thrown off by the word 'structure' the monologue part I was like..."I kinda see what he means" Yeah, I 'appear'to be an open book. I wish everyone was like that with details too to be honest! It saves time and gives you room for more growth. But, spilling your whole life story also looks insane/overwhelming


    w/e w/e w/e ;p
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

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