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  1. #61
    Junior Member Catin's Avatar
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    I'm married to an ESTP. There was obviously a mutual attraction but it's definitely a challenging relationship. I wouldn't really recommend it long term.

  2. #62
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    Definitely!
    I am a klutz...so def. attracted to athletic types. The graceful way they are able to move, is fascinating.
    They have S, and I don't!

    I am feely/ emotional... admire T types for their level cool thinking and not getting carried away.

    I am a serious and orderly J ... I like P types because they have fun and help me live in the moment.

    interesting topic!
    Because MBTI says N types go together,
    but Socionics wants to put you with your 'dual'
    But I have not seen any clear pattern/ trend in who settles down with who.
    Too many factors beyond personality type, I think!

  3. #63
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    I've been with an INFJ, ISTP, and 2 ISFP's.

    So I would say I'm attracted to introverts.

    I love the chase. And at the same time, hate to wait. lol

    So my attraction is conflicting.

    I know the functions that I'm attracted to are Se and Fe. But I only have really connected with Ni doms.

    I'm assuming my ideal mate would be an INFJ or INFJ.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
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  4. #64
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    Not so much attracted to my opposite, function-wise. But recently realized the source of intense attraction in a relationship I once had with an ISFP was a combination of her Se-aux and Ni-tert meshing with my Ni-dom and Se-inf. That relationship was the most sensually amazing experience I have ever had with another human being - not only the sexual aspect (though that was amazing in itself) but also the deep shared sensual pleasures like music and food. It was like we resonated at the same frequency at the intersection of the intuitive and the sensual, and I credit her for naturally moving in ways that brought that shared sensuality into our shared experience (unfortunately we were sorely incompatible in other extremely significant ways, but that sensual-intuitive layer was quite extraordinary).
    This is exactly the sort of dynamic I have with my 2 ISFP lovers. Awesome amazing physical and sensual connection but not enough intellectual stimulation and lifestyle commonality. It's great for whatever amount of time we have together, and if that were to turn into forever great; but if I have a soul mate I have a sneaking suspicion he'll be another INFJ. INFJ's are the most NT-like of the NF's and I need someone with a strong thinking function who also appreciates the Feeling point of view. I'm entertaining the theory that I need another Se user to have sexual chemistry; if my analysis of my past lovers is correct all the ones with whom there was significant chemistry are Se users, and to my knowledge I have never felt especially attracted to an SJ
    .
    As lovers I like SFP's more often than STP's because the combination of Se and Ti I find rather abrasive at times. And Se dominant is too much for me to handle in large doses- too much action and unpredictability and it triggers my fight or flight response. Fi softens Se and Se grounds and tempers Fi. As for NJ's, I had a splendid relationship with an ENTJ, but after awhile his constant Je opinions began to annoy me. And I couldn't handle an ENFJ. My Ti is strong enough that Ti inferior would drive me to want to kill them. Weirdly enough, and maybe because I had a particularly bad experience with one, ENFJ is among my least favorite type though they are just one letter off. I may meet some in the future who change my mind. INTJ's can be great but really aggravating. I'm quite fond of ENFP's but have never felt chemistry with one. I really like some ENTP's, so that's promising.

    There's also the gender dynamic. Some types which may be intimidating or overwhelming if male can be quite alluring in a female. I think the females of the type just tend to not be obnoxious about it. For instance, I've never met an obnoxious INTJ female. Basically I like a nice balance of femininity and masculinity in a person no matter their gender or type.

  5. #65
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Basically I like a nice balance of femininity and masculinity in a person no matter their gender or type.
    I ideally would like that too. But I have not had luck finding guys like that yet.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    This is exactly the sort of dynamic I have with my 2 ISFP lovers. Awesome amazing physical and sensual connection but not enough intellectual stimulation and lifestyle commonality. It's great for whatever amount of time we have together, and if that were to turn into forever great;
    How interesting that you had similar experiences with your ISFP lovers! I didn't have language for it at the time, but I remember telling my ex that I'd never had the concept for "sexual intelligence" before I met her. In our case, the sexual connection was so great that we slept together, just for the pleasure of it, a few times after we broke up (not something I ever do otherwise). As for intellectual stimulation - the ISFP in my case was very very smart and had a lot of inner depth, but (now that I think about it given your comment) probably not in a way that could have stimulated me over time. But that wasn't the core of our incompatibility, it was other stuff more in the lifestyle category.

    but if I have a soul mate I have a sneaking suspicion he'll be another INFJ. INFJ's are the most NT-like of the NF's and I need someone with a strong thinking function who also appreciates the Feeling point of view. I'm entertaining the theory that I need another Se user to have sexual chemistry; if my analysis of my past lovers is correct all the ones with whom there was significant chemistry are Se users
    I wonder if the mutual Se-inferior would have the same effect as Se in another position, especially the Se-Ni combo in the middle of the stack like with ISxPs. Have you ever met another INFJ to whom you were attracted? And/or another Ni-dom/Se-inf (INTJ)?

    In my case, there's significant sexual chemistry with my INFP, who doesn't have Se in her stack at all (we don't share any specific functions). But nothing in that specific sexual/sensual realm before or since has compared to the very basic ease and flow of that ISFP experience. And come to think of it, I had another gf once who I'm fairly certain was Se-aux but Ti-dom (ISTP). This was someone I didn't particularly like in some ways even at first, and actually over time grew to despise as a person. But I noticed that no matter how ugly things were at other levels, there was still this completely inexplicable physical/sexual chemistry between us that had no discernible source in how I felt about her. It was so odd ... it lived at the utterly touch-physical level, to the point where I had never even found her particularly visually or other-layer attractive, but there was this basic vibrating physical resonance. I have to say, in that kind of situation, the Se-Ni ISxP combo is kinda scary to me in the effect it can have (and I had no idea what was going on at the time, no language for it). I'm just glad I experienced the beauty of the ISFP sexual/sensual connection as well, so I know the other side of it.

    eta:

    Weirdly enough, and maybe because I had a particularly bad experience with one, ENFJ is among my least favorite type though they are just one letter off.
    I didn't like the one ENFJ I've known, though it wasn't a romantic connection. In my case, I found that I couldn't stand seeing Ni placed in service to Fe. It felt like some sort of weird desecration to me, to place Ni as the servant of Fe as she kept doing (understandably with Fe-dom/Ni-aux).

  7. #67
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    I wonder if the mutual Se-inferior would have the same effect as Se in another position, especially the Se-Ni combo in the middle of the stack like with ISxPs. Have you ever met another INFJ to whom you were attracted? And/or another Ni-dom/Se-inf (INTJ)?
    Oh yes, I had fantastic chemsitry with an INTJ. We were incompatible in some other ways though. I have an INFJ guy friend to whom I'm not physically attracted, but we have a nice sort of empathetic understanding and get each other's Ni. I had an isolated encounter with someone who might have been INFJ, and it was nice, but I was sort of inexperienced and awkward at the time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    In my case, there's significant sexual chemistry with my INFP, who doesn't have Se in her stack at all (we don't share any specific functions). But nothing in that specific sexual/sensual realm before or since has compared to the very basic ease and flow of that ISFP experience. And come to think of it, I had another gf once who I'm fairly certain was Se-aux but Ti-dom (ISTP). This was someone I didn't particularly like in some ways even at first, and actually over time grew to despise as a person. But I noticed that no matter how ugly things were at other levels, there was still this completely inexplicable physical/sexual chemistry between us that had no discernible source in how I felt about her. It was so odd ... it lived at the utterly touch-physical level, to the point where I had never even found her particularly visually or other-layer attractive, but there was this basic vibrating physical resonance. I have to say, in that kind of situation, the Se-Ni ISxP combo is kinda scary to me in the effect it can have (and I had no idea what was going on at the time, no language for it). I'm just glad I experienced the beauty of the ISFP sexual/sensual connection as well, so I know the other side of it.
    Yeah, I wonder how the whole chemistry in connection with functions works. It probably varies from person to person, but I suspect there is some sort of relation with Se. Maybe also individuals value different aspects of the sexual experience. I like that you had that same sort of dynamic; it sounds really wonderful and beautiful, and if it's common to more people than us would be beneficial for people to explore, I think. I too feel it at the very basic level of touch such that even if I had never talked to these people, one in particular (the Scorpio, go figure) if I had felt comfortable enough to get close to him and feel his energy for a length of time and then his sexual energy the energy exchange would occur and that would be all we needed.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Yeah, I wonder how the whole chemistry in connection with functions works. It probably varies from person to person, but I suspect there is some sort of relation with Se. Maybe also individuals value different aspects of the sexual experience.
    Now I wonder how cognitive functions might intersect with focusing on or valuing different aspects of the sexual experience. *thinking* I feel like I've seen this in action somehow. Okay, thinking out loud:


  9. #69
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    @Werebudgie, I think you are exactly right in your analysis actually.

  10. #70
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    @greenfairy, this is such an interesting and unexpected conversation for me! More:


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