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What does an INFJ look like under extreme stress (in your own words)

NK258

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You can make a general assumption or story if you've known one. List of adjectives. Whatever you wish. Just in your own words as opposed to scripted things you've read would be preferred if at all possible. :)
 

cafe

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I sometimes just shut down. And it doesn't have to be extreme stress. It can be extreme stress and being hungry. I start completely losing my ability to concentrate and my Se drops like a rock. Quivering puddle of melting Jello.
 

NK258

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I'm talking EXTREME stress. I've read the shadow comes out to play. Negative coping patterns etc. To be honest, I shut down (super quiet) when healthy or less stressed. I never shut down depression wise. Just more numb if I'm depressed.
 

cafe

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What is extreme stress? Was that like when my step-dad suddenly died when I was twelve? I was really just kind of shocky off and on for months. When we were being evicted when I was pregnant and had a one year old, I think I kind of shut down emotionally out of despair and tried to just make sure my daughter had enough to eat. I kept breast-feeding her even though I was underweight and pregnant because I knew as long as she was nursing she likely wouldn't be malnourished. I haven't been in a war or anything like that.

Personally, I do just about everything in my power to avoid stress.
 

NK258

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What is extreme stress? Was that like when my step-dad suddenly died when I was twelve? I was really just kind of shocky off and on for months. When we were being evicted when I was pregnant and had a one year old, I think I kind of shut down emotionally out of despair and tried to just make sure my daughter had enough to eat. I kept breast-feeding her even though I was underweight and pregnant because I knew as long as she was nursing she likely wouldn't be malnourished. I haven't been in a war or anything like that.

Personally, I do just about everything in my power to avoid stress.

I didn't mean to offend you if that is indeed the case. I wasn't intending to minimize your experience of stress. I think maybe how we cope to stress might be influenced by our enneagram type more anyhow. My apologies if whatever I said was off putting.
 

Forever

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Try being a missionary envisioning something not becoming true or what you expect, and staying on it because you know there are rewards (Se based) that are guaranteed after you finish the two years. Then deciding it wasn't worth it (Ni fighting Se) and choose to leave. The leader scares you off if you leave and stuck being miserable with companions changing every 3 months. Then trying to find outside sources (have to break the rules of the mission to do that) and feel lonely. My situation is that I have 6 months left, and I know it's coming, but it's feeling like forever and haven't found a great stress reliever for my Se because I have an injured foot.

Having a type 9 too makes it seem like you hate conflict and have a hard time to stick up for yourself. I am very "flight" response-ish. And I have a difficult time getting along with everyone.

Sound helpful [MENTION=20811]NK258[/MENTION] ?

I'm going by my own experience:

I believe very very open because of leaning towards not hiding any information for desperation of help. Sometimes will hide from people unnecessarily and want some alone time but painfully yearning for friends or somebody they like. I think they start to dream very far off of what is the perfect place or person. Using Ni and Se in their negative sides never coming up to a conclusion. Feels like constantly misunderstood. 9's can get very passive aggressive, eventually where they just blow it and throwing insults feeling very 8ish.

Breaking rules just because they don't think they can find the purpose in it. Doesn't encourage others but wants other to respect his decisions. Yearning for perspectives of others so they can keep the peace. Se causes to overindulge in sensual pleasures, I overeat and get tough on myself for overeating, loose spending. 9 sx can also just want to desperately find that one and then close off communication from everyone else as their vision.

Get surprised if noticed. I usually don't think people talk to me and when they do, it can be quite uplifting. Constant pull of being different but being with everyone. Suicidal thoughts may occur too. "Maybe if I am just gone, I will be one less annoyance for everyone" Very 4ish like.

That sort of stuff.
 
Last edited:

Werebudgie

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I agree with the part of this discussion that focuses on enneagram over cognitive processes for the question at hand. Under extreme stress, I get extremely vigilant and can get completely focused on doing whatever I need to do to protect those I love and myself from any physical or other dangers in the world around us - enneagram 6 (eta and the 5 wing shows up in my focus on gathering as much information as I can/becoming as informed as possible as part of that response).
 

Fidelia

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I get sick to my stomach, and not hungry or eat to calm that bad feelings I have, become overindulgent, need way more sleep, and become somewhat avoidant. I don't have energy left over to do anything creative or extra.

I do everything I can to avoid getting into situations like that. If it is interpersonal, I try as quickly as I can to address it directly or else get out of the situation for good if it seems that we are at an impasse.
 

flowerkin

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I isolate myself, eat way too little or way too much, can never bring myself to leave the house, lots of crying jags. I basically become non-functioning.
 

HollyGolightly

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Under stress I do experience the Ni-Ti loop (I think my understanding of this loop is correct but tell me if I am wrong). An example is if I make a mistake or something that I perceive to be a mistake at work I overthink it and it's future implications "Oh my God every thinks I'm incompetent and I'm going to get fired. Oh my God what if I am incompetent at everything?" etc etc etc. I can become rather paranoid which makes me withdraw from the world and avoid situations that provoke me to overthink and become paranoid. I also because hypersensitive to things. I take everything personally and read WAY too much into things that I normally would just take at face value or shrug off. When I'm not under stress I am quite a reasonable person but under stress I am irritable, irrational and overreact a little sometimes. It's like my feelings become way more intense than normal and I can't see clearly through the haze of emotion. It's not nice :(
 

Z Buck McFate

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I think short-term stress- which might be something that only really effects the moment I'm in, such as having far too many things on my schedule- might be INFJ related. When I have too many things on my plate I end up making stupid mistakes- like putting my keys in the freezer while putting away groceries, or leaving the iron turned on, etc. As a result, knowing that I make these kinds of mistakes, I become preoccupied with making sure I'm not doing it- I'll keep checking to make sure my keys are in the correct spot by the door, or I'll maybe need to 'make sure' my iron is turned off/unplugged several times (and the oven, my straightening iron, etc- anything I recently used) before I leave the house. I will FREAK OUT if someone moves my keys, or purse, or anything I need from its regular spot. This is how I get after too many days of having too much stuff scheduled.

Longer term stress though- that totally manifests in the enneagram 5 way (withdrawal, feeling like I need to understand something absolutely before even attempting to act on it- as if there's no doubt in my mind I'll only screw up and ultimately make more work for myself if I can't plan it out entirely before I start- sometimes even 'studying' something unrelated just to get rid of anxiety...).
 

Werebudgie

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I think short-term stress- which might be something that only really effects the moment I'm in, such as having far too many things on my schedule- might be INFJ related. When I have too many things on my plate I end up making stupid mistakes- like putting my keys in the freezer while putting away groceries, or leaving the iron turned on, etc. As a result, knowing that I make these kinds of mistakes, I become preoccupied with making sure I'm not doing it- I'll keep checking to make sure my keys are in the correct spot by the door, or I'll maybe need to 'make sure' my iron is turned off/unplugged several times (and the oven, my straightening iron, etc- anything I recently used) before I leave the house. I will FREAK OUT if someone moves my keys, or purse, or anything I need from its regular spot. This is how I get after too many days of having too much stuff scheduled.

Okay, this reveals to me that I was wrong when saying it's mostly enneagram. IMO this for sure maps to Se-inf and I see it in myself as well.

Interesting distinction between short term stress and longer term:

Longer term stress though- that totally manifests in the enneagram 5 way (withdrawal, feeling like I need to understand something absolutely before even attempting to act on it- as if there's no doubt in my mind I'll only screw up and ultimately make more work for myself if I can't plan it out entirely before I start- sometimes even 'studying' something unrelated just to get rid of anxiety...).

Yes, this makes sense to me, I really appreciate the distinction.
 

Lexicon

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For me, blunted affect. Come off as a pseudo Ti-dom. Try to separate myself from my feelings entirely. Initially I may feel some physical symptoms-- quite nauseated/tired from the acute stress (also a migraine trigger), forget to eat, don't sleep enough/at all or way too much- but I've experienced rather severe stress for long periods of time, and.. you adjust. How I adjusted was by intellectualizing my emotional responses as much as possible. Doing that was a bit like hittiing PAUSE on my emotions to some extent, & stepping away from them. If I'm physically depleted on top of emotionally, I will pull away from people I care about/fall off the planet, as well. Natural means of trying to conserve energy and collect myself/get things done. I may have less patience for people at that point, but I do my best to explain my need for space, so people I care for don't have to wonder if they've possibly done something to upset me. Particularly pushy people who disregard that boundary (despite explaining my need for space) tend to get the cold shoulder from me, if I'm drained enough.
 

21%

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For me, blunted affect. Come off as a pseudo Ti-dom. Try to separate myself from my feelings entirely. Initially I may feel some physical symptoms-- quite nauseated/tired from the acute stress (also a migraine trigger), forget to eat, don't sleep enough/at all or way too much- but I've experienced rather severe stress for long periods of time, and.. you adjust. How I adjusted was by intellectualizing my emotional responses as much as possible. Doing that was a bit like hittiing PAUSE on my emotions to some extent, & stepping away from them. If I'm physically depleted on top of emotionally, I will pull away from people I care about/fall off the planet, as well. Natural means of trying to conserve energy and collect myself/get things done. I may have less patience for people at that point, but I do my best to explain my need for space, so people I care for don't have to wonder if they've possibly done something to upset me. Particularly pushy people who disregard that boundary (despite explaining my need for space) tend to get the cold shoulder from me, if I'm drained enough.
I can relate to this. I have a 'survival mode' where I don't seem to feel anything if I'm under a lot of real life stress.

However, if it's 'emotional stress' that I'm experiencing, it's a completely different story. I'll still withdraw, but once I'm alone I will try to experience it to the fullest and try to make sense of it. I will retire to bed early but will lie awake thinking and crying and figuring it out, and might get up in the middle of the night and walk in the process.

If it's not severe stress and if I have no control over it, I tend to flee into books/movies/tv series/writing. If you see me devouring fiction at an unnatural rate, it usually means I'm fleeing.
 

Forever

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Under stress I do experience the Ni-Ti loop (I think my understanding of this loop is correct but tell me if I am wrong). An example is if I make a mistake or something that I perceive to be a mistake at work I overthink it and it's future implications "Oh my God every thinks I'm incompetent and I'm going to get fired. Oh my God what if I am incompetent at everything?" etc etc etc. I can become rather paranoid which makes me withdraw from the world and avoid situations that provoke me to overthink and become paranoid. I also because hypersensitive to things. I take everything personally and read WAY too much into things that I normally would just take at face value or shrug off. When I'm not under stress I am quite a reasonable person but under stress I am irritable, irrational and overreact a little sometimes. It's like my feelings become way more intense than normal and I can't see clearly through the haze of emotion. It's not nice :(

I relate to that quite well. :)
 

Yeah...Nope.

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I can relate to this. I have a 'survival mode' where I don't seem to feel anything if I'm under a lot of real life stress.

However, if it's 'emotional stress' that I'm experiencing, it's a completely different story. I'll still withdraw, but once I'm alone I will try to experience it to the fullest and try to make sense of it. I will retire to bed early but will lie awake thinking and crying and figuring it out, and might get up in the middle of the night and walk in the process.

If it's not severe stress and if I have no control over it, I tend to flee into books/movies/tv series/writing. If you see me devouring fiction at an unnatural rate, it usually means I'm fleeing.

Right on the dot!
 
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