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  1. #1
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Default Do You Know What Your Problem Is?

    Well, do you?

    It seems to be a most favorite past-time online to tell everyone else what their problems are, but this is a thread with one rule: You cannot tell anyone else what their personality problems are, but you may share a description of you own problems.

    I'm looking forward to doing this.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Inner not knowing. Insecurity. Indecision. Where many people seem to feel a magnetic "calling", I seem to feel tiny whispers of breezes in many directions. I feel like I am forever recentering. Rumi said, "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." Which pull? I think I somehow failed at the Eriksonian stage of identity definition.

  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    low self esteem, correcting people when they're wrong, forgetting to eat when running around with my head chopped off, forgetting to shower if i'm running around with my head chopped off, not eating healthy, not keeping in touch with people I care about.easily overwhelmed
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Inner not knowing. Insecurity. Indecision. Where many people seem to feel a magnetic "calling", I seem to feel tiny whispers of breezes in many directions. I feel like I am forever recentering. Rumi said, "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." Which pull? I think I somehow failed at the Eriksonian stage of identity definition.
    This.

    I seem to lack the ability to manifest. Like..ANYTHING. Though I've recently had the epiphany that, as an ENFP, my way of manifesting is probably in this way. Doing all things at the same time, working in projects, losing interest and coming back to it and slowly building up a skill set in 5-6 things at the same time and truly being a Jack of All Trades. Since most people prefer a more linear process, it's always made me look and feel more rudderless in comparison, but now I'm wondering if I'm just chasing ghosts and fighting my own nature - which only seems to throw me into extreme procrastination mode and cost me oodles of time and energy.

    So, I decided to conduct a little experiment where I just give my whims free reign - which Im lucky enough to be in the position to try out. One day I'll plunge myself into the Norwegian language with zeal, the next into how Wordpress works, the day after we'll do a full body work out in Yoga and Dance, and the day after that we'll write an entire day. All I can do is see if it actually gets me anywhere, instead of driving myself batty trying to confine myself to one path

    The only exception are the things that need to be taken care of routinely, but those I've got down to a T anyways and they get handled Te-style: quick, efficiently and without much fuss. If need be, I'll put together a day with only those tasks to get them out of my way so I can fully delve back into where my heart takes me next.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Most of my personality problems result from being too Ni-heavy, so that I'm trying to process the Big Picture, and I am in a constant state of biting off more than I can chew.

    One problem comes in trying to find core elements of larger systems, so that I can organize the sea of reality. When this is combined with my anxiety or distortions from experience, it can create an inner landscape of fractures occurring at multiple levels, so when the earthquake of pain is set off, I become broken at the core. This type of inner obsession is like clinging to a tree in a storm and only happens in a state of anxiety. When at peace I take in the vast expanse without judgment and feel enlightened. The levels of emotional pain I feel are something I have hidden most of my life by finding a place to be alone to have a break-down. More recently partners have seen it and are frightened, confused, and overwhelmed by the intensity of it. I end up having to live in fear of it.

    A second problem comes from organizing reality along continuums of mutually exclusive poles. In this way you can create an enormous inner concept of reality that is flexible. This is helpful except that I am aware of the extremes of every concept, and once again, when subjected to stress I can become too aware of extremes, rather than a sense of flexible balance. I will consider extremes as greater possibilities than they are. In this way my ability to reason can become distorted and I am aware of some capacity to believe the ridiculous.

    A third problem is related to empathy which can become a vice when over-extended. I become hyper-aware of the feelings of those I'm with and can reach an unhealthy point of not being able to identify my needs. The moment someone else walks into a room I have no clue what I want to watch, what I want to eat, or even for certain how I'm feeling. It is a strength at work when compartmentalized and working with just one person at a time, but in my home life I probably need extended periods of isolation where the only thing to feel and think are my own thoughts. This is also not a claim at being virtuous because this ability to diminish self leads to an unconscious anger which can erupt unexpectedly when others exploit the quality. For this reason I need close confidants who are aware of external boundaries, so they can push back against my obliviousness. Also related to this is a penchant for self-loathing.

    I've also noticed that when stressed, I will have fluctuating boundaries. I will become intensely private and share nothing, or fall into complete self-exposure. I can keep dysfunctional people at a healthy distance, and then suddenly one randomly breaks through and hurts me. I can go from being suspicious and skeptical about others and then fall into complete trust of someone. I long for inner consistency and it is a core drive in my life, but I have to work very hard to maintain it because I am trying to reconcile every extreme, to discover order in the vast expanse which I cannot ever fully see, but must just extrapolate to make sense of.

    So simply put, when subjected to stress I can become emotionally obsessive, depressive, and distorted in my thinking.

    There is more, but that's for starters.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So, I decided to conduct a little experiment where I just give my whims free reign - which Im lucky enough to be in the position to try out. One day I'll plunge myself into the Norwegian language with zeal, the next into how Wordpress works, the day after we'll do a full body work out in Yoga and Dance, and the day after that we'll write an entire day. All I can do is see if it actually gets me anywhere, instead of driving myself batty trying to confine myself to one path
    Yay! Please let us know how it goes. I'll be so curious to hear.

    I've been trying to figure out my future career path and it's been evolving like this: psychologist -> editor -> doctor -> physical therapist -> PT and yoga instructor -> PT, yoga instructor, and artist... it's getting wider. Might as well. Feel like I always move towards wider anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by fia
    The levels of emotional pain I feel are something I have hidden most of my life by finding a place to be alone to have a break-down. More recently partners have seen it and are frightened, confused, and overwhelmed by the intensity of it. I end up having to live in fear of it.
    I understand this. My partner has seen me at my worst and it freaked him out. It's nothing new to me, I hit it cyclically. But he thought I needed professional attention. No, this is just part of being an NF, I think.

  7. #7
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I developed a disease that has stolen my life. that's my 'problem'.

  8. #8
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Don't have any.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Don't have any.
    It ain't just a river in Egypt, is it.

  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Yay! Please let us know how it goes. I'll be so curious to hear.

    I've been trying to figure out my future career path and it's been evolving like this: psychologist -> editor -> doctor -> physical therapist -> PT and yoga instructor -> PT, yoga instructor, and artist... it's getting wider. Might as well. Feel like I always move towards wider anyway.
    Heh, yeah I hear ya. Im going: interpreter -> writer -> blogger -> online entrepreneur -> psychologist -> animal behaviourist -> animal trainer -> etc etc etc

    From what I can see, and the pattern I'm creating, I'm banking on online entrepreneur as it will allow me to do it all to the degree that *I* want to do it, and sample several projects at once, while hopefully finding the network connections I need to basically be a professional Jack of All Traits. And then it is a matter of seeing which trait becomes dominant. Fuck it, I suck at planning and sticking to a plan, so might as well just go with what I do naturally

    Don't hold your breath though, I've been struggling with this for years


    I understand this. My partner has seen me at my worst and it freaked him out. It's nothing new to me, I hit it cyclically. But he thought I needed professional attention. No, this is just part of being an NF, I think.
    It certainly seems to be. Mine didn't know - and sometimes still doesn't know - what do either, but, I'm fortunate enough that he trusts me to sort it out instead of panicking as that is pretty much part of my tasks within our relationship. He also knows it is a pattern that comes and goes but he often is sort of at a loss as to what to do about it. He'll take instruction though and I have been known to spell out step by step when to hold me, when to let me cry and when to run through things with me. It is kind of weird to comfort and tell someone they are doing great as you are teaching them how to comfort you in that particular moment. It becomes rather meta - and occasionally is a bit much on top of it all. Still, he's come a long way and does a great job these days. It's kind of like teaching someone in the bedroom, tbh.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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