Do You Know What Your Problem Is?

[Udog]

I take myself too seriously, and confuse "learning" with "doing".

 

[EJCC]

• Overly cautious, not aggressive enough
• Too focused on doing what's "expected"
• Unwarranted fear of disappointing people (now much better at taking criticism, after years of work)
• Terrible at self-care, unaware of own physical limits, tendency to run self into the ground
• Unwilling to rely on people for emotional support -- wasting and invalidating a really good support system
• Behind this sweet exterior is an inner douchebag who sometimes escapes and has a grand old time
• Too moralizing/meddlesome -- the dark side of what is usually a positive trait, i.e. lack of fear of stepping in and fixing things when they need fixing
• Can someone interpret all these buried feelings, s'il vous plait? Je ne parle pas cette langue!

Etc. Etc. Etc... could go on for several pages.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

*Poor self-presentation.

* Find it diffcult to understand my own feelings or what they mean until well after the fact. I actually wish I was more in touch with my feelings, but I'm not good at it. This is also why I don't like people quizzing me on them.

*Self-conscious about seeming shy, so sometimes talk when I don't have anything to say, instead of giving myself the silence to reply once I have something to say; I am especially bad at this if I like someone.

*Not entirely sure as to what I want in life, or how to align that with my job.

*Prone to boredom.

*Out of touch with my body... learning anything kinesthetic requires a LOT of patience.

*Tendency towards self-righteousness.

*Too eager to put on masks according to what I think will please others.

*Highly irritable.

*Tendency to "research options" when what is needed is decisive action.

*Tendency towards paranoia.

*Prone to procrastination and laziness.

* Have a hard time trusting people.

* Not good at letting things go

* Complain about people being oversensitive when I myself can be oversensitive.

* Have only the vaugest sense of a "dream" or inner guidance... I know the generalities, but not the specifics, certainly not at the level of specialization required by society.

* Dislike networking.

* Does not consider myself boring, but is well aware that others do.

* Clingy.

* Not good at setting boundaries (this one is high priority, because I demand this so much of others.)

* Doesn't take enough things seriously.

How's that for an egotistical son-of-a-bitch NT who thinks he's perfect? I'm sure I'm not even scratching the surface, actually.

 

[TickTock]

Yes I do. Though I am not divulging.

 

[TickTock]

But I think my biggest problem is I'm not boring enough and boring people are intimidating to me.

That's the best way to answer, by indirectly talking yourself up

 

[skylights]

I strongly dislike boring people, to the point that I think they're evil [...] But I think my biggest problem is I'm not boring enough and boring people are intimidating to me.

What is boring to you? I'm curious. People seem to have many different ideas of what boring entails.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I'm so boring that most everything excites me.

 

[EJCC]

But I think my biggest problem is I'm not boring enough and boring people are intimidating to me.

Why not block out the boring people and surround yourself with interesting ones? (That's what I do.) Unless you find the vast majority of people to be boring, in which case easier said than done?

I'm so boring that most everything excites me.

I don't think that makes you boring.

Plus, that makes for a much more interesting (and less high-maintenance) life.

 

[OrangeAppled]

This is merely a matter of how much time I have to type this... which in itself is a problem (wasting time on the internet), but far from my greatest.

- disorganized, bad with time management, focusing on task work, and attention to dry details
- flip between being too indulgent & restrictive with life choices, hard time balancing moods & values
- self-absorption, prone to moodiness & isolating self, too self-conscious & self-critical which inhibits
- too passive in initiating things with others, too much wishful thinking
- excessively idealistic hopes lead to extreme disappointment which gives too critical/negative attitude
- poor surface social skills, appear unfriendly/snobby, not good at fitting into others' conversational flow
- unaware of my body language & face, appear unhappy/unfriendly when just "thinking"
- know-it-all, like to argue/debate too much, too bookish, not light-hearted or fun enough
- too hot or cold, switch between cool indifference that's dull/passive to intense passion that's too aggressive
- resist external vulnerability of emotional display & appear cold/disinterested for it, see others attempts to affect me as emotional manipulation (too sensitive)
- appear too comfortable being a loner, am too comfortable being a loner
- sense of shame inhibits too much
- don't care about certain social protocol, can seem inappropriate, defiant, odd in a bad way, etc
- a bit vain, or interest in aesthetics is construed this way by others
- selfish with my time/energy at times
- accommodate others, don't vocalize my needs, resent it
- feel misunderstood, don't put much out there for people to work with
- not enough self-discipline to do things I want to do and/or way too high standards for what one can accomplish in a day or what is a "good" final result
- paralyzed by too high standards, discouraged too easily by less-than-perfect results, too all or nothing

I could go on....

 

[Alea_iacta_est]

My problem is the problem of the pariah. I don't connect with people as others do. That leaves one choice: Adapt, or Die alone and unfulfilled. I have to mold what would be a stand-out personality to conceal myself amongst a crowd of social automatons that attempt to purify or separate the abnormals. I have masks weaved of deceptive yet smooth silk that allow me to sit atop my shadowed throne of hidden condescension and derision of the public and still mimic the dreary life of a social being. Then comes the time when a connection, a faint glimmer, is made, and I realize solemnly that the disguise that was once my protection from the outside is now the cage that locks the tormented, true persona that cries for release.

On an entirely different note, I also need to work on being less lazy.

 

[prplchknz]

absent minded is another

 

[Rasofy]

I don't like to expose my problems.

Wait...

 

[Galena]

I relate to the concept of all things being rooted to other things inside, and the resulting felt domino effect when one is disturbed. Add that to growing up as a very emotionally expressive person among family that really, really wasn't, and that's a recipe for issues with self-gaslighting. "No one should have to see that." "My needs are abnormal. They're too much to ask from reasonable people." I avoid intimacy because the thought of another person discovering and living alongside what's in this mind horrifies me. Teach them? It doesn't seem fair. When someone wants a lover, they're not signing up for all this. When someone is interested in me, it gives me chills, and I don't ask for help unless the helper is getting paid.

Most of the things I could put here come down to an immolating hostility toward my raw materials. I was a hypersensitive and impressionable child, still have the capacity to be so as an adult, and want to push myself further from that origin than is physically possible. Upset? Toughen up. Tired? Work harder. Need something? Play a game and see how far I can go without it. Injured or sick? Usual expectations still stand: don't baby yourself. Stop getting stuff done to watch a movie or go to the bathroom? Uncomfortable. Be an adult, self-improve, don't share myself with anyone until I've become who I am meant to be - who I would be if I was working hard enough! Goooo! Don't just sit there - you might never get up. Competitive. Comparison with people who exemplify integrity and the courage to be authentic plays a role.

A sense of agency maintained by assuming full responsibility for everything that happens in my life short of dread illness and natural disasters. It gives choices more weight than they have in reality; things are taken too seriously.

Finally, an unconscious need to be taken care of. Sometimes it takes all the will I have not to give in to the temptation of crying for rescue. I see this as my ugliest trait, a singing siren to be gagged at all costs. May turn down a line of support because I want it too much, or lean on someone once and then wake up the next day feeling like I've come off some embarrassing bender.

 

[EJCC]

Be an adult, self-improve, don't share myself with anyone until I've become who I am meant to be - who I would be if I was working hard enough! Goooo! Don't just sit there - you might never get up.

Oh boy. This. So much this.

 

[Evo]

-impatient
-high need for control
-having a feeling of pressure from everything
-i have "have to" syndrome, where I feel responsible to do what is asked of me, as if I owe people.
-i don't give up, even if I am burnt out
-i cut people out of my life easily
-but I also forgive too easily
-and lastly, I'm a walking contradiction

 

[WhoCares]

My refusal to engage with society. I know I have to but I just cant find enough redeeming qualities in humanity to want to do so. It feels to me like the greatest injustice that I must engage with the one thing that has never been kind to or included me. i cannot forgive humanity for being arseholes, human frailty is no excuse in my book.

The fact that I live my whole life running from fears rather than engaging with life out of interest. I feel like I am ill equipped to deal with life.

 

[Qlip]

Timely thread. My main problem is my fear and my reaction to it. I'm reactive and when I make choices in the face of fear they are dramatic. There's that step that I miss where I sit and think things through. The problem is rarely inaction. I need to run more often. If I feel a problem is too big for me, I feel like I need to do something to it to deflate it, explode it, anything besides just let it be.

Fear is such a big part of my psyche that I rarely recognize it. Most of my preoccupations are centered around shadow fear. I spend my life traversing and being informed by shadow terrain instead of the actual lay of the land.

 

[OptoGypsy]

Trolling in real life which pisses people off. It's as if I have a gun in my mouth and I don't care because I love the taste of metal.

 

[five sounds]

- too many ideas at a time. it's hard for me to focus on one.
- disorganized, poor time management and spatial awareness
- anxious/impulsive
- disinterest in the here-and-now. i prefer being in my head, but want others there with me.
- ignore responsibilities that i don't deem important, even if they actually are
- easily bogged down by responsibilities (especially the ones i deem important)
- huge sense of obligation toward others, often leading to feelings of guilt
- switch drastically from "doing the right thing" to rebel mode
- i'm uncomfortable with how much i desire and respond to affirmation
- i become consumed by feelings or experiences and am unable to see outside of them (not sure if i would kick this if i could. it's kinda magical.)
- switch drastically from being overly self-critical to overly forgiving of myself
- strong passion and drive inside and a million different changing directions of focus. it's a frustrating combination of forces.

there are so many more. 99 problems, man.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

low self confidence, inner insecurity (I don't believe in my abilities) and an over sensitivity that comes from these 2, I always need an approval from others, that what I do is okay. In the contrast of these characteristics I have high goals and ideals on my own self, that are often unrealistic and I often fail to accomplish them. I am never satisfied with what is, who I am and I always try to change something in a naive hope, that it will bring me closer to my unrealistic goals. Because I have such a high idealts, it's extremly hard to satisfy me and so I tend to be depressive, feel incomplete like I still miss something and have the feeling of longing. Because of this I also feel often empty and burn out.
I don't know why, but I am extremly lazy, hedonistic, irresponsible, careless, childish and immature. I am selfish, egoistical and rarely think about needs of others. I am self absorbed. I can't work on anything which is not pure fun, I search for fun and excitment and yet I am drown in bad moods and negativistic viewing of life and future.