I know what you mean! I have guided mine, too. But he has been very supportive overall, which I am grateful for. Unfortunately I think the internal quality of it is what is so NF about it - they can't know what to do because it's so intrinsic to us what we need. But actually it occurs to me that is an interesting manifestation of inner knowing on our parts, even though it is what we both struggle with. As we are figuring out ourselves we are able to guide others to help us on our way. I feel like we have that capacity in the external world, too, which is why I have long been drawn to roles where I am able to support and guide someone in their growth, because walking with them through their growth allows me to walk in step with my own.It certainly seems to be. Mine didn't know - and sometimes still doesn't know - what do either, but, I'm fortunate enough that he trusts me to sort it out instead of panicking as that is pretty much part of my tasks within our relationship. He also knows it is a pattern that comes and goes but he often is sort of at a loss as to what to do about it. He'll take instruction though and I have been known to spell out step by step when to hold me, when to let me cry and when to run through things with me. It is kind of weird to comfort and tell someone they are doing great as you are teaching them how to comfort you in that particular moment. It becomes rather meta - and occasionally is a bit much on top of it all. Still, he's come a long way and does a great job these days. It's kind of like teaching someone in the bedroom, tbh.