User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 44

  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    From what I can see, and the pattern I'm creating, I'm banking on online entrepreneur as it will allow me to do it all to the degree that *I* want to do it, and sample several projects at once, while hopefully finding the network connections I need to basically be a professional Jack of All Traits. And then it is a matter of seeing which trait becomes dominant. Fuck it, I suck at planning and sticking to a plan, so might as well just go with what I do naturally
    Hahaha true.

    It certainly seems to be. Mine didn't know - and sometimes still doesn't know - what do either, but, I'm fortunate enough that he trusts me to sort it out instead of panicking as that is pretty much part of my tasks within our relationship. He also knows it is a pattern that comes and goes but he often is sort of at a loss as to what to do about it. He'll take instruction though and I have been known to spell out step by step when to hold me, when to let me cry and when to run through things with me. It is kind of weird to comfort and tell someone they are doing great as you are teaching them how to comfort you in that particular moment. It becomes rather meta - and occasionally is a bit much on top of it all. Still, he's come a long way and does a great job these days. It's kind of like teaching someone in the bedroom, tbh.
    I know what you mean! I have guided mine, too. But he has been very supportive overall, which I am grateful for. Unfortunately I think the internal quality of it is what is so NF about it - they can't know what to do because it's so intrinsic to us what we need. But actually it occurs to me that is an interesting manifestation of inner knowing on our parts, even though it is what we both struggle with. As we are figuring out ourselves we are able to guide others to help us on our way. I feel like we have that capacity in the external world, too, which is why I have long been drawn to roles where I am able to support and guide someone in their growth, because walking with them through their growth allows me to walk in step with my own.

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Hahaha true.



    I know what you mean! I have guided mine, too. But he has been very supportive overall, which I am grateful for. Unfortunately I think the internal quality of it is what is so NF about it - they can't know what to do because it's so intrinsic to us what we need. But actually it occurs to me that is an interesting manifestation of inner knowing on our parts, even though it is what we both struggle with. As we are figuring out ourselves we are able to guide others to help us on our way. I feel like we have that capacity in the external world, too, which is why I have long been drawn to roles where I am able to support and guide someone in their growth, because walking with them through their growth allows me to walk in step with my own.
    Yeah, definitely. The thing is, at some point you have to take charge - and god knows I don't do taking charge normally but this is an exception - and heal yourself emotionally with their support. It is no different than him telling me to take care of this set of tasks so we can execute his vision and move our lives forward, while having him review my work. Granted, it is a bit weird, like a doctor walking a layman through how to take a bullet out of his leg, but as long as they agree to it, I say use them for the blunt instrument that they are and is at your disposal, seriously. It makes him feel better than sitting there helpless and worrying over me.

    I hear you on the draw towards those kind of professions, but ime, as much as early experimentation on yourself is good for your skill level, serious emotional surgery is a lot easier done on someone else than on yourself - even with the aid of a willing beloved. Still..it has a certain feeling of accomplishment and amusement value when you look back at it afterwards though
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #13
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,588

    Default

    Also in relationships I tend to be self-depricating and apologize too often. I tend to feel unloved and rejected easily which ends up as me needing more reassurance than I should need. I've hurt people with this tendency.

    I tend to feel responsible for things outside my control which also leads to anxiety, is not rational, and is probably my most imposed sense of self. My own reasoning is not whether or not it is in my control, but just a desperation to fix it at any cost.

    I'm also extremely spacey which can result in me not being as responsible as I feel I should be, but on a positive note I do give other people a great allowance to be forgetful and make honest mistakes.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  4. #14
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Yeah, definitely. The thing is, at some point you have to take charge - and god knows I don't do taking charge normally but this is an exception - and heal yourself emotionally with their support. It is no different than him telling me to take care of this set of tasks so we can execute his vision and move our lives forward, while having him review my work. Granted, it is a bit weird, like a doctor walking a layman through how to take a bullet out of his leg, but as long as they agree to it, I say use them for the blunt instrument that they are and is at your disposal, seriously. It makes him feel better than sitting there helpless and worrying over me.

    I hear you on the draw towards those kind of professions, but ime, as much as early experimentation on yourself is good for your skill level, serious emotional surgery is a lot easier done on someone else than on yourself - even with the aid of a willing beloved. Still..it has a certain feeling of accomplishment and amusement value when you look back at it afterwards though
    Lol, that is true.

    Though, sometimes - and maybe this is in part thanks to my boyfriend's Fe - if I just let go of myself and my hangups, I can let him take charge and heal me, I think. Or (apparently I am in a Rumi mood), there is another Rumi quote that says something like "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it". And he is maybe very good at getting me to let down my walls so that the love that exists all around can flow in. Often the most powerful moments of healing for me seem to be more submission and acceptance and flow than active restructuring on my part.

    I have to admit, I am not sure how long I could withstand emotional surgery on another person. When I first got out of college, I considered becoming a counselor, but I quickly found how incredibly drained I got from interacting directly with people's emotions and trying to "parry" with them. I get too drawn back into myself - I have poor emotional boundaries, and I suspect yours are better. I feel too much like a mirror. I like when there is a medium in between to focus on, some goal we are working on together, because then I can support and encourage and help heal with that structured boundary in place to ensure the roles don't change.

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Lol, that is true.

    Though, sometimes - and maybe this is in part thanks to my boyfriend's Fe - if I just let go of myself and my hangups, I can let him take charge and heal me, I think. Or (apparently I am in a Rumi mood), there is another Rumi quote that says something like "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it". And he is maybe very good at getting me to let down my walls so that the love that exists all around can flow in. Often the most powerful moments of healing for me seem to be more submission and acceptance and flow than active restructuring on my part.

    I have to admit, I am not sure how long I could withstand emotional surgery on another person. When I first got out of college, I considered becoming a counselor, but I quickly found how incredibly drained I got from interacting directly with people's emotions and trying to "parry" with them. I get too drawn back into myself - I have poor emotional boundaries, and I suspect yours are better. I feel too much like a mirror. I like when there is a medium in between to focus on, some goal we are working on together, because then I can support and encourage and help heal with that structured boundary in place to ensure the roles don't change.
    You aint alone on that, I too get drained. I can do a sprint, but not a marathon of that stuff. Once it turns into a marathon, I need to either see steady progress, and have indeed a goal we're both working together on, or I need the other person to be ok with me not providing them with answers and just be a soundboard for them to use. I cannot be the only one who puts in the leg work, but I'm willing to either do my share, or sit down with you in the mud without any expectations. If I get guilt tripped for not saving them when they aren't ready to be saved, I start putting up a shield coz otherwise it drains my battery completely. I can recharge from seeing them grow and put in the work, and I can muck about without having to invest much energy...but I cannot do both without any place to put in my plug, either.

    And for that matter, much like your first paragraph describes - and its what I do usually when I handle my own wounds without asking for his assistance - people need to learn to be ok with being wounded and taking the time, and the help they receive to gain their bearings and heal. There is no point in making someone with a broken leg walk, before it is healed - and sitting down with them and being a soundboard does that. Once it is time for physiotherapy, I'm all for supporting them as they attempt to walk...as long as they aren't using me as a piggyback. At some point, you have to do the work, be uncomfortable and find out just how strong you are.


    ********

    More on topic:

    I'm a horrible flake. I'm getting better as I rid myself of the triggers that cause it, but I haven't worked through it all yet - and I *hate* that i procrastinate and run from those things, but I cannot seem to control that knee-jerk reaction yet. Mostly, the cause is that I don't know how to handle the situation or need tim to digest and my penchant for avoidance kicks in. Coupled with my chaotic nature, it often turns out wrong as I forget to get back to it
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #16
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    yolo Ni
    Posts
    591

    Default

    I'm an egocentric, overly progressive, unentertainable attention whore. And while you'd probably expect me to be the dumbest person ever, my IQ happens to be 140. Which drives me crazy, because I have to deal with realizing that people who are supposedly more clever than me actually happen to be total retards. ALL. THE. TIME.

    I often don't care whether people like me or not, as long as they make me feel like I'm being noticed. I also tend to get pissed off when someone who I don't think deserves attention (because they're boring) gets more attention than I do. I strongly dislike boring people, to the point that I think they're evil. Others think I'm exaggerating.

    I'm lazy, unless I really care about something. I neglect the serious things in my life when I feel like my social life is more important, but once the serious things get too important, I neglect my social life. It's one or the other. It's just a sign of me egocentrism. I like a lot of people, but there are few I really care about. I mostly care about me. It's bad, but I'll admit it.

    Mostly I'm too much of a good thing, others can't really take it. Too competitive. Too realistic (others hate me for ruining their fantasy worlds). Too free (others despise me for it). I read an article about how funny people show signs of psychological discomfort and when I looked at the list of symptoms, I realized I might suffer from too much sense of humor. And I don't even think I'm funny.

    But I think my biggest problem is I'm not boring enough and boring people are intimidating to me.
    Ewww is the new sexy


    Hi! Ask me things, maybe I'll answer them! Just click here

    And here's my functions: Se-Te-Fi-Fe-Ni-Ti-Ne-Si


  7. #17
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,368

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    It ain't just a river in Egypt, is it.
    Idk what you're referencing to...
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  8. #18
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,171

    Default

    My problem is life. It's crap.

  9. #19
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Every 'problem' I have can also equally be couched as a strength--except for a particular mental illness that sometimes has me questioning my own perception and judgments, lopping off some of my own potential, isolating myself from others, and instilling huge existential crises. "Is it that thing talking, or is it just me? How much autonomy do I actually have over myself? How much autonomy does anyone have, really? What separates me from the murderers, thieves, and rapists of the world?" And so on.

    There's a 'strength' to experiencing that for a short time as a reality check, but it's not worth experiencing over and over.

  10. #20
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEI
    Posts
    2,399

    Default

    My problems? I have lots, I'm certain. For one, I'm not perfect. I'm self centered. I can be manipulative in arguments towards those I'm upset with and see as weaker than myself. I like to win arguments. I tend to think too highly of myself and then flip to being insecure. I'm hyper aware of myself when I'm not engaged in conversation. And I tend to not think enough when I talk aloud amongst peers. This causes me a lot of anxiety. I over analyze my actions and words, as well as the actions and words of others. But mostly myself. I'm short sided and trying hard to become a long term thinker, so as a result, I'm irritated by friends who live in the moment and see them as stagnant. It's a reflection of someone I once was and am trying to get away from. I'm easily irritated by people in my space. Like roommates. I need to learn how to live better with others. It can't always be about me and what I want.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Inner not knowing. Insecurity. Indecision. Where many people seem to feel a magnetic "calling", I seem to feel tiny whispers of breezes in many directions. I feel like I am forever recentering. Rumi said, "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." Which pull? I think I somehow failed at the Eriksonian stage of identity definition.
    Dude. This! I feel that pain.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

Similar Threads

  1. How do you decide what your dominant function is?
    By SwimmerGal97 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-29-2015, 11:35 AM
  2. [INFP] Helllllllp; how do you know if your friend's an INFP?
    By Ribonuke in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-02-2012, 03:35 PM
  3. How do you know when your mbti type is accurate?
    By Tyrinth in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 11-25-2011, 10:17 PM
  4. Do you know what movie this is from?
    By swordpath in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-16-2008, 05:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO