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Thread: Lets talk about the shadow

  1. #81
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    8+7 sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    they usually aren't yes no questions. They're usually people coming up to me and starting regular conversations and then it eventually turns into asking me for favors and calling me daily, and saying "please don't call me anymore" results in some kind of absolute move on their part to never speak to me again... which, perhaps is a good thing. Hmm...
    Did you try just saying "sorry I don't have time right now?"

    This "please don't call me anymore" does sound like you're asking the person to never speak to you again.

    It comes in other ways as well. I listen to my family and advice people give me but frankly a lot of their advice isn't relevant. But they get mad when I don't take their advice and tell me I need to listen to them more and be more humble and blah blah blah... The hardest part is figuring out what is actually my fault and what is theirs, as I want to be objective through the whole situation.
    Oh I've had that problem with people getting pissed off when I wasn't taking their advice :p Well if they get mad, it's their problem. I wouldn't worry about trying to figure out whose fault it is. It's your right to not take whatever piece of advice. Especially if it was unsolicited advice. But even if you asked for it, you're not obliged to follow it. If they don't understand that, again their problem.

    That doesn't mean of course that the advice was really not that relevant but you still have the right to refuse to listen. With good or bad consequences, of course. It doesn't really matter in that sense if you are okay with taking bad consequences and learning from that instead .

    It's impossible to be fully objective, btw. Only thing you can do is stay open and learn as much as you can, again note I'm not talking about any kind of totally perfect approach.

  2. #82
    The Dark Lord Array The Wailing Specter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    6w7 sp/so
    INFp Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post
    so I'm trying to understand the shadow. Its been said somewhere, that what you hate about others, are actually things that remind you of yourself.

    INFP's I'm about to rip you a new ass hole, so bare with me for a second:

    So when I think about INFPs and how angry they make me, they make me angry for several reasons. The things they do when they are excited, make me want to vomit. Their enthusiasm makes me gag. Their art makes me angry.

    When I think about INFP's, I think of a woman with rotting cracked dry skin, no eyes, sitting there like a vegetable doing nothing for eternity. Their emotions seem broken and directionless to me. There is no purpose, no directive. Only emptiness and confusion in their vegetable minds.

    infp self searching zombie

    Now, I KNOW this isn't true. But I also think its possible INFP's view me as a mindless drone of some kind with brash aggression for seemingly no reason. Maybe even a cult leader, perhaps I have zero self concept the same way they do and that idea frightens them, much the way their seeming lack of attention to appearances horrifies me.

    meanwhile, My ESFP friend seems to have a strange obsession with zombies...

    So my question is this, is this the shadow of myself?

    Jung or one of those fucking psychologists once said we are supposed to integrate our shadow into our whole being instead of ignore it, and that is how we become a whole person.

    So, how do I integrate this brash psychotic fireball chucking cult leader into my compassionate loving child adventurer side? What does it really mean for us to integrate with our shadow?
    You are ESTP 8?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)

    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  3. #83
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Jun 2015


    Our shadow is simply qualities we represses during our lifetime. What people forget is we don't only repress our negative qualities, we hide our best qualities as well. Each individual has been given a personality by God- that is who we truly are. We rarely ever show this side of urselves to the world because it's so precious that we learned to hide it to protect it. When we are expressing ourselves naturally as we do when we are children, we are connected to the life force, that's who we really are. As life goes by we learn we have to adapt to our environment, we stop being who we really are to fit in. Over time we may lose the awareness of who we really are because we became so identified with our outer persona, our story, our false identity that the real individual we are remains hidden away within the shadow. If someone deeply bothers you that much it might be that they remind you of a part of yourself you have denied. Maybe a long time ago you were a lot like that person but you lost touch with yourself and buried it so deep inside you can't access that part of you anymore.

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