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Types and Love Languages

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Anyway, why isn't food a love language???

:ranting:

Oh yeah, I love cooking for (or better, with) an SO. I guess that would be acts of service, wouldn't it. I didn't think of that. I'm not that into doing nice things otherwise. :laugh:
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
affirmation and physical touch
I'm dead without those / uneasy / unhappy.
 

PimpinMcBoltage

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2012
Messages
155
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8
I don't think it's very insightful but I'm probably Acts of Service (If specifically asked) > Quality Time > Words of Affirmation > Physical Touch > Sharing Gifts.

My personalized love language would mostly just resolve around Loyality Dynamics, hanging around doing utterly pointless things and doing shit for people.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I know what you mean. I try to give very thoughtful gifts. And sometimes, I have gotten very thoughtful gifts. It can really mean a lot if it's the right gift.

Yeah, exactly. And given at the right time and in the right manner. The whole process is like a little microcosm.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Somewhat off topic but I wonder how do our preferences for love languages form? Is there something in your (anybody) childhood that you associate with your love language?
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Time and words are my top two, I think.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Time >> acts > words> touch > gifts
 

LonestarCowgirl

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
482
I don't know if there is already a thread similar to this or not, but have you ever noticed any prevalence of a certain love language (quality time, gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch) in specific types?

For example, my experience is that IxTx types tend to be more Acts of Service oriented, but that's only what I've noticed in people I know.

I've noticed

ENFJ, ENTJ gifts, quality time, words of affirmation
ESFJ, ESTJ quality time, gifts, physical touch
INFJ quality time, gifts, acts of service
INFP acts of service, gifts
 

spirilis

Senior Membrane
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
2,687
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Touch, then Acts of Service. Just read the book a week or 2 ago. I am very touchy with my children and wife but social convention (or my perception of it anyhow) prevents me from expressing that to anyone else. I sort've wonder if that's how/why I generally am emotionally detached from most people and situations. Someone giving me a pat on the back or a manly nudge often elicit a strong unexpected emotional impulse (usually met with a limp shoulder from me but the message gets to me).
 

Honor

girl with a pretty smile
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
1,580
MBTI Type
?
Instinctual Variant
so
Somewhat off topic but I wonder how do our preferences for love languages form? Is there something in your (anybody) childhood that you associate with your love language?
Now, this is a good question. I think my family is more Quality Time than Words of Affirmation, so I've always felt a lack of verbal affection. I think that's how I became a Words person. I have no clue about Physical Touch.
 

LittleV

Just a note...
Joined
May 5, 2013
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Mine are Words of Affirmation and Quality time (followed by Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch)... his are Physical Touch and Quality Time (followed by Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation and Gifts). One of our problems was that I wasn't as physically affectionate as he was, and it made him feel physically unwanted... even though I thought he was the hottest guy at our high school (but shhh, don't tell him that... ;)).
 

autumnandtherain

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2013
Messages
185
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Somewhat off topic but I wonder how do our preferences for love languages form? Is there something in your (anybody) childhood that you associate with your love language?

Yeah, me too. It's not really seeming so far like any one type has a specific preference.
 

autumnandtherain

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2013
Messages
185
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Now, this is a good question. I think my family is more Quality Time than Words of Affirmation, so I've always felt a lack of verbal affection. I think that's how I became a Words person. I have no clue about Physical Touch.

I think some people do well with that. For me, one of my dad's top ones is Quality Time, and mine is Quality Time, but one of my mom's lowest is Quality Time, and hers is Acts of Service which is my next-to-lowest. :/ I also need Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch sometimes, but my family has mostly been Acts of Service-oriented since it's my mom's, and it's also one of the higher ones for my dad. And my brother is Words of Affirmation.
 

autumnandtherain

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2013
Messages
185
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Touch, then Acts of Service. Just read the book a week or 2 ago. I am very touchy with my children and wife but social convention (or my perception of it anyhow) prevents me from expressing that to anyone else. I sort've wonder if that's how/why I generally am emotionally detached from most people and situations. Someone giving me a pat on the back or a manly nudge often elicit a strong unexpected emotional impulse (usually met with a limp shoulder from me but the message gets to me).

That makes sense. I've heard from others who have Touch as a top one are really selective about people who touch them.-- They only enjoy when trusted family and friends touch them because it's really special to them and they don't want to give/receive that to or from just anyone.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Somewhat off topic but I wonder how do our preferences for love languages form? Is there something in your (anybody) childhood that you associate with your love language?

In some cases, sure. Quality time (#2) and Acts of Service (#4) are directly related to my childhood experiences, both in one being high up and the other being lower down. Money was tight growing up, so I was always extremely aware of the cost of gifts (#5) and the sacrifice they entail.

Physical touch being on top is more complicated. I shared some of that in that INFP thread I made a couple of weeks ago.
 

Honor

girl with a pretty smile
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
1,580
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?
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so
I think some people do well with that. For me, one of my dad's top ones is Quality Time, and mine is Quality Time, but one of my mom's lowest is Quality Time, and hers is Acts of Service which is my next-to-lowest. :/ I also need Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch sometimes, but my family has mostly been Acts of Service-oriented since it's my mom's, and it's also one of the higher ones for my dad. And my brother is Words of Affirmation.
Oh wow! Interesting that he's Words because I know very few guys who are Words people.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Oh wow! Interesting that he's Words because I know very few guys who are Words people.

And who can blame them? I am struck dumb by Honor whereas I would by honoured to speak to Honour.

Oh the horror of Honor.
 
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