• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Tales from the Grips

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
So lately I've been thinking about decisions I've made while in the grips of inferior Si.

It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

Glad I'm not, but it made me wonder: have other people ever made major decisions under the grips of their inferior? It seems plausible since it's usually triggered by feelings of stress and feeling unable to handle a task with your strongest functions.

So let's here your tales from the grips! :horror:
 

CatBalou

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
38
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't know if this is best seen as a disintegration to type 3 from a 6, or if it's a geniune Se-in-the-grip effect, but I chose my career based on the status it has and the financial rewards. The graduate-level job I took to get into that career was really badly suited to me, requiring a lot more extraversion and energy than I've got. I still perservered with it because I couldn't give up the status.

So I don't know if that counts as a grip effect. Se grip effects are more around unwise alcohol-based socialising, IME.
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
I stopped showing up to half of my classes due to a feeling of shame regarding my lack of competence in practically every other area in my life, and also due to a feeling of being bombarded with reminders of my own incompetence and stupidity in every single direction. Obsessing over every past and current mistake made me feel subhuman. I had to either build myself up in isolation somehow, or avoid being a functional member of society altogether.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

I'm curious what you mean. Are you still in that career and plan, and are you happy with it?
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm curious what you mean. Are you still in that career and plan, and are you happy with it?

Yes and not really. I'm working on reexamining it all right now. Definitely quitting my job after this year.
 

kquirk

amateur cartographer
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
221
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
593
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have an INTJ friend who might be in the grips right now. He just broke up with his girlfriend of five years and is looking to party, find some mistakes, and take them home.

I kind of went through that after my last breakup. I decided it would fine to not be the good guy for once. I avoided the clap though, so no regrets.
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm not sure I can think of decisions made in the grip. As I think the times I've been I simply was not in a situation where there were life changing decisions to be made. But I do recall in my worst grip ever- a few years ago- very dark and stressful time, that I fought tooth and nail to find the light. Yoga, meditation all kinds of things and when I hear the same music and sounds and visuals from that time- the very things that helped pull me out--- it triggers the memories of the darkness and it's an awful awful thing. So i just don't want to go there again.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm not sure I can think of decisions made in the grip. As I think the times I've been I simply was not in a situation where there were life changing decisions to be made. But I do recall in my worst grip ever- a few years ago- very dark and stressful time, that I fought tooth and nail to find the light. Yoga, meditation all kinds of things and when I hear the same music and sounds and visuals from that time- the very things that helped pull me out--- it triggers the memories of the darkness and it's an awful awful thing. So i just don't want to go there again.

i hear ya! yoga and meditation are actually what help pull me out too, and i use them regularly to stay out.

i'm so afraid of that place. F that.
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
i hear ya! yoga and meditation are actually what help pull me out too, and i use them regularly to stay out.

i'm so afraid of that place. F that.

It's a horrible place.
group hug!
;)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I don't make decisions in the grip of my inferior. My dominant function is about making decisions, while my inferior, in the grip, is about cutting off outside communication and retreating into a dark and self-pitying internal realm.

On the bright side: Outside of the grip, I think my inferior is very helpful, when it influences my life decisions. Making sure I don't check my values at the door.
 

James W

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2013
Messages
57
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
So lately I've been thinking about decisions I've made while in the grips of inferior Si.

It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

Glad I'm not, but it made me wonder: have other people ever made major decisions under the grips of their inferior? It seems plausible since it's usually triggered by feelings of stress and feeling unable to handle a task with your strongest functions.

So let's here your tales from the grips! :horror:

Funny you should start a thread like this. One of my best friends is an ENFP and he's going through exactly the same thing right now.

He's basically been stuck in the same manual labor career for a steel mill his whole life and it was only until recently that he left it all behind to get away from it all. During that time, he went through a bit of an existentialist funk, dabbling in the likes of Camus, writing poetry and generally just feeling a kind of emptiness from all the superficial relationships he's had in the past.

Since then, he's managed to settle down in a serious relationship with one of the sweetest girls you could ever imagine, but she's moved out of town to get a career in theater and I'm constantly asking him why won't chase after her. She's offered him a place to stay after all. He knows it would be a great opportunity to get out of a town that has nothing left for him and leave his safety net behind, but he's still really hesitant and indecisive about it all.

I'd consider this his own personal Si grips right there and the only thing I can really do about it now is show my support and maybe kick his ass about it from time to time.

As for my own inferior grips, I'd say Te has caused me many awful moments where I'd jumped to really harsh conclusions based on the smallest amount of evidence, almost costing me some serious long term friendships in the process. Like when my ex asked me to phone her and her voice mail message consisted of some guy talking in the background while she just giggled. I took it very personally for some reason.

"You obviously ignore all my calls, just you can show off some new guy you met on OkCupid through your voicemail etc."

Urrghh, it sounds even worse when I read it aloud in my head.

Then we argue, then we make up and do that awkward thing where we pretend it never happened and go back to doing whatever we were doing before.

So yeah, Te grips. The art of worrying that I might become my ISTJ Dad some day... Haha :D

I don't make decisions in the grip of my inferior. My dominant function is about making decisions, while my inferior, in the grip, is about cutting off outside communication and retreating into a dark and self-pitying internal realm..

This is really interesting.

I've always wondered how ESTJs would manifest their Fi in a way that showed characteristics of an INFP. Would you ever consider yourself introspective to point of self indulgence or does that side of you just not interest you enough?
 

Dr Mobius

Biting Shards
Joined
Jul 13, 2010
Messages
873
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
So lately I've been thinking about decisions I've made while in the grips of inferior Si.

It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

Glad I'm not, but it made me wonder: have other people ever made major decisions under the grips of their inferior? It seems plausible since it's usually triggered by feelings of stress and feeling unable to handle a task with your strongest functions.

So let's here your tales from the grips! :horror:

Sounds like we make similar mistakes :horror:; I kind of blame it on the nature of being a Ne Dom. I mean considering how much we do that isn’t conscious; it doesn’t seem like it takes much to start slipping into defensive thinking. Shutting down and reaching for the safety net as I like to think of it.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I'm not super familiar with the idea of the "grips", but I love the title @nicolita :)

I think maybe for me it can really manifest in getting caught up in feeling like I can't escape the situation I'm in. Right now I'm working a retail job where I occasionally get to exercise management and artistic skills, both of which I enjoy, and it's decent enough in terms of being tolerable to fuel my tuition fees, but sometimes I get caught up in worrying that my future career is going to be just like my job is now - idiotic, greedy, self-absorbed management, rude and condescending clientele, meaningless and uncomfortable tasks (literally physically painful), and having to watch my butt because my supervisor tries to take advantage of me. My ISFJ helps remind me that the future doesn't have to be like this, and in fact there's no reason to think that it will be, but sometimes it's hard to get out of that rut of thinking since that has been my primary workplace for two and a half years now. When I do feel like that, I start making decisions that are blindly present-oriented to the point of shortsighted, and feel like longterm plans are impossible.

That said, good introverted Sensing also has collected all the important facts that went into creating my very happy childhood and very happy college experiences, and I am so happy to report that I have very successfully learned from my bad high school experience, and if I'm mindful about it, I can use that sort of thinking to plan a future that recreates those happinesses.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
This is really interesting.

I've always wondered how ESTJs would manifest their Fi in a way that showed characteristics of an INFP. Would you ever consider yourself introspective to point of self indulgence or does that side of you just not interest you enough?
Totally. If I get too deep down in it, I start to almost enjoy being there, in a sick way. Never a good sign.

I don't know if that's typical of ESTJs though?

(Would be interested in hearing from [MENTION=15246]SD45T-2[/MENTION] and our forum ENTJs on this topic, and also on the topic of making decisions (or not making decisions) in the grip of inferior Fi)
 
B

brainheart

Guest
I'll start thinking all of my problems are due to a lack of planning and structure and then I'll try to map out every minute of my day. The 'plan' lasts for half a day max so I can't say I stay in the grip long enough to do anything all that earth shattering.
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Someone mentioned enjoying being in the grip. I do get that. It's like the aspects of it that can be enjoyable - even if it sounds sick- is a change of scenery, a change of outlook, a release from putting on a happy face, enjoying the escape, enjoying the relief from not worrying and just letting it overtake you. Like letting yourself go under the current for a bit instead of fighting to keep your head above water.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sounds like we make similar mistakes :horror:; I kind of blame it on the nature of being a Ne Dom. I mean considering how much we do that isn’t conscious; it doesn’t seem like it takes much to start slipping into defensive thinking. Shutting down and reaching for the safety net as I like to think of it.

exactly.

it's scary running on intuition without a plan sometimes. it can leave you feeling lost and confused. but that scramble for the safety net is no fun.

it can be a relief momentarily, but after a while, it's worse than working your way through with your stronger functions. i guess it's a matter of fight vs. flight. fleeing to inferior Si has done me wrong. i will work to fight with Ne Fi Te. in the end, at least i've been true to myself and used my strengths rather than falling back on my weaknesses. and i've probably enjoyed the ride much more too. gotten into things that i actually wanted, etc. woo! feeling empowered! let's do this.
 

James W

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2013
Messages
57
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'll start thinking all of my problems are due to a lack of planning and structure and then I'll try to map out every minute of my day. The 'plan' lasts for half a day max so I can't say I stay in the grip long enough to do anything all that earth shattering.

I relate to those days. It's crazy isn't it?

In the end, you just find a balance. Total militant organization to the point of looking at your watch every five seconds just doesn't cut it if it ends up becoming a draining experience.
 

Dr Mobius

Biting Shards
Joined
Jul 13, 2010
Messages
873
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i will work to fight with Ne Fi Te. in the end, at least i've been true to myself and used my strengths rather than falling back on my weaknesses. and i've probably enjoyed the ride much more too. gotten into things that i actually wanted, etc. woo! feeling empowered! let's do this.

:laugh: I find myself stuck somewhere between impressed and wistful.
 
Last edited:

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I kind of get on a self-righteous high horse and accuse everyone people of being immoral jerks. I am the last bastion of morality in a corrupted world, blah blah blah. (This especially happens when I indulge in it) It's really annoying tp everyone else. Sometimes there are also bizarre feelings of guilt over stuff that I really shouldn't be feeling guilty about. Also, sometimes I don't want to let people down by telling them the truth about something, so I'll avoid them or avoid saying anything, but really that just exacerbates the problem, and it usually ends up not being as big a deal as I thought it was.

It's feeling, but it's a version of feeling that is out of touch and not really based on anything real. I thnk it's getting better, though. It's said that the the conflict between the primary and the undeveloped inferior manifests itself as an either-or thing (and I actually know what they are talking about), but lately I'm feeling like a lot of these concerns aren't necessarily either-or things. I think that's a good sign.
 
Top