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  1. #11
    Member James W's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    So lately I've been thinking about decisions I've made while in the grips of inferior Si.

    It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

    Glad I'm not, but it made me wonder: have other people ever made major decisions under the grips of their inferior? It seems plausible since it's usually triggered by feelings of stress and feeling unable to handle a task with your strongest functions.

    So let's here your tales from the grips!
    Funny you should start a thread like this. One of my best friends is an ENFP and he's going through exactly the same thing right now.

    He's basically been stuck in the same manual labor career for a steel mill his whole life and it was only until recently that he left it all behind to get away from it all. During that time, he went through a bit of an existentialist funk, dabbling in the likes of Camus, writing poetry and generally just feeling a kind of emptiness from all the superficial relationships he's had in the past.

    Since then, he's managed to settle down in a serious relationship with one of the sweetest girls you could ever imagine, but she's moved out of town to get a career in theater and I'm constantly asking him why won't chase after her. She's offered him a place to stay after all. He knows it would be a great opportunity to get out of a town that has nothing left for him and leave his safety net behind, but he's still really hesitant and indecisive about it all.

    I'd consider this his own personal Si grips right there and the only thing I can really do about it now is show my support and maybe kick his ass about it from time to time.

    As for my own inferior grips, I'd say Te has caused me many awful moments where I'd jumped to really harsh conclusions based on the smallest amount of evidence, almost costing me some serious long term friendships in the process. Like when my ex asked me to phone her and her voice mail message consisted of some guy talking in the background while she just giggled. I took it very personally for some reason.

    "You obviously ignore all my calls, just you can show off some new guy you met on OkCupid through your voicemail etc."

    Urrghh, it sounds even worse when I read it aloud in my head.

    Then we argue, then we make up and do that awkward thing where we pretend it never happened and go back to doing whatever we were doing before.

    So yeah, Te grips. The art of worrying that I might become my ISTJ Dad some day... Haha

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I don't make decisions in the grip of my inferior. My dominant function is about making decisions, while my inferior, in the grip, is about cutting off outside communication and retreating into a dark and self-pitying internal realm..
    This is really interesting.

    I've always wondered how ESTJs would manifest their Fi in a way that showed characteristics of an INFP. Would you ever consider yourself introspective to point of self indulgence or does that side of you just not interest you enough?

  2. #12
    Chaser of Light Dr Mobius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    So lately I've been thinking about decisions I've made while in the grips of inferior Si.

    It's scary to think of, but I definitely set my path for my career and kinda life plan while in this state. Now that I'm out, I'm dealing with a life that was set up for me under the guise that I would always be some rigid unhealthy Si girl.

    Glad I'm not, but it made me wonder: have other people ever made major decisions under the grips of their inferior? It seems plausible since it's usually triggered by feelings of stress and feeling unable to handle a task with your strongest functions.

    So let's here your tales from the grips!
    Sounds like we make similar mistakes ; I kind of blame it on the nature of being a Ne Dom. I mean considering how much we do that isn’t conscious; it doesn’t seem like it takes much to start slipping into defensive thinking. Shutting down and reaching for the safety net as I like to think of it.
    “Brighter, now brighter, pay no mind to those who squint, burn with all your heat.”

  3. #13
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I'm not super familiar with the idea of the "grips", but I love the title @nicolita

    I think maybe for me it can really manifest in getting caught up in feeling like I can't escape the situation I'm in. Right now I'm working a retail job where I occasionally get to exercise management and artistic skills, both of which I enjoy, and it's decent enough in terms of being tolerable to fuel my tuition fees, but sometimes I get caught up in worrying that my future career is going to be just like my job is now - idiotic, greedy, self-absorbed management, rude and condescending clientele, meaningless and uncomfortable tasks (literally physically painful), and having to watch my butt because my supervisor tries to take advantage of me. My ISFJ helps remind me that the future doesn't have to be like this, and in fact there's no reason to think that it will be, but sometimes it's hard to get out of that rut of thinking since that has been my primary workplace for two and a half years now. When I do feel like that, I start making decisions that are blindly present-oriented to the point of shortsighted, and feel like longterm plans are impossible.

    That said, good introverted Sensing also has collected all the important facts that went into creating my very happy childhood and very happy college experiences, and I am so happy to report that I have very successfully learned from my bad high school experience, and if I'm mindful about it, I can use that sort of thinking to plan a future that recreates those happinesses.

  4. #14
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James W View Post
    This is really interesting.

    I've always wondered how ESTJs would manifest their Fi in a way that showed characteristics of an INFP. Would you ever consider yourself introspective to point of self indulgence or does that side of you just not interest you enough?
    Totally. If I get too deep down in it, I start to almost enjoy being there, in a sick way. Never a good sign.

    I don't know if that's typical of ESTJs though?

    (Would be interested in hearing from @SD45T-2 and our forum ENTJs on this topic, and also on the topic of making decisions (or not making decisions) in the grip of inferior Fi)
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  5. #15
    brainheart
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    I'll start thinking all of my problems are due to a lack of planning and structure and then I'll try to map out every minute of my day. The 'plan' lasts for half a day max so I can't say I stay in the grip long enough to do anything all that earth shattering.

  6. #16
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Someone mentioned enjoying being in the grip. I do get that. It's like the aspects of it that can be enjoyable - even if it sounds sick- is a change of scenery, a change of outlook, a release from putting on a happy face, enjoying the escape, enjoying the relief from not worrying and just letting it overtake you. Like letting yourself go under the current for a bit instead of fighting to keep your head above water.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  7. #17
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Mobius View Post
    Sounds like we make similar mistakes ; I kind of blame it on the nature of being a Ne Dom. I mean considering how much we do that isn’t conscious; it doesn’t seem like it takes much to start slipping into defensive thinking. Shutting down and reaching for the safety net as I like to think of it.
    exactly.

    it's scary running on intuition without a plan sometimes. it can leave you feeling lost and confused. but that scramble for the safety net is no fun.

    it can be a relief momentarily, but after a while, it's worse than working your way through with your stronger functions. i guess it's a matter of fight vs. flight. fleeing to inferior Si has done me wrong. i will work to fight with Ne Fi Te. in the end, at least i've been true to myself and used my strengths rather than falling back on my weaknesses. and i've probably enjoyed the ride much more too. gotten into things that i actually wanted, etc. woo! feeling empowered! let's do this.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  8. #18
    Member James W's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    I'll start thinking all of my problems are due to a lack of planning and structure and then I'll try to map out every minute of my day. The 'plan' lasts for half a day max so I can't say I stay in the grip long enough to do anything all that earth shattering.
    I relate to those days. It's crazy isn't it?

    In the end, you just find a balance. Total militant organization to the point of looking at your watch every five seconds just doesn't cut it if it ends up becoming a draining experience.

  9. #19
    Chaser of Light Dr Mobius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    i will work to fight with Ne Fi Te. in the end, at least i've been true to myself and used my strengths rather than falling back on my weaknesses. and i've probably enjoyed the ride much more too. gotten into things that i actually wanted, etc. woo! feeling empowered! let's do this.
    I find myself stuck somewhere between impressed and wistful.
    Last edited by Dr Mobius; 11-18-2013 at 11:12 PM. Reason: accidently using creepy looking emoticon; internet communication fail #1000
    “Brighter, now brighter, pay no mind to those who squint, burn with all your heat.”

  10. #20
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I kind of get on a self-righteous high horse and accuse everyone people of being immoral jerks. I am the last bastion of morality in a corrupted world, blah blah blah. (This especially happens when I indulge in it) It's really annoying tp everyone else. Sometimes there are also bizarre feelings of guilt over stuff that I really shouldn't be feeling guilty about. Also, sometimes I don't want to let people down by telling them the truth about something, so I'll avoid them or avoid saying anything, but really that just exacerbates the problem, and it usually ends up not being as big a deal as I thought it was.

    It's feeling, but it's a version of feeling that is out of touch and not really based on anything real. I thnk it's getting better, though. It's said that the the conflict between the primary and the undeveloped inferior manifests itself as an either-or thing (and I actually know what they are talking about), but lately I'm feeling like a lot of these concerns aren't necessarily either-or things. I think that's a good sign.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


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