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  1. #1

    Default Are we born introvert / extrovert? Can this change?

    hello
    Im not sure if somebody made a similar thread yet, but I have a question.

    Because I was really into typing myself I stumbled upon this; is it possible to be an extravert, thats gone shy and unsure and distant around people? Or is it possible that an introvert acted very extrovert as a child?

    Ive been trying to find out my type for a year now and I was always sure that I must be an introvert, but it seems like none of the introverted types really fits me. (ISFJ or something is the best fit for now) I read a bit in ISFJ threads and nearly everyone said that they were really shy and reserved as kids.

    When I think about me being a child I was so completely different, I was really nice and friendly, really open, I talked to strangers a lot, I generally talked a lot, I tried to please and help everyone, I focused on others a lot.

    When I was 12 I broke off contact with my father because he did many things that hurt me a lot and maybe traumatisised me a bit. Since that Ive gone totally distant, reserved, cold, needed so much time alone and so forth. Since that I began to become more and more introvert.

    And now since I have my boyfriend I really opened up, Im showing my feelings again and I dont generally act so distant anymore, but the problem is that I just cant cope with people anymore.

    I dont know, are we born introvert or extrovert? Can this change because of life situations or something?

    It would be nice if I could get a few responses

  2. #2
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    You sound like you have Fi and that you are in Fi "mode." I don't know- I sort of do those things- go into introversion mode even though I came out of the womb whistling Dixie. lol Also too- I do believe some people are ambiverts- sort of on the cusp. We can also not show our real type when under stress.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  3. #3
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    I don't think it can change, as much as society wants it to. Introversion is much less prized than extroversion even though I think introversion is a pretty good indicator of intelligence and actual achievement in life. I think people learn to embrace the weaknesses of their natural inclination more than they would learn to change that inclination, if it was at all possible, which again, I don't think it can be changed.
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  4. #4
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by taylord View Post
    I don't think it can change, as much as society wants it to. Introversion is much less prized than extroversion even though I think introversion is a pretty good indicator of intelligence and actual achievement in life. I think people learn to embrace the weaknesses of their natural inclination more than they would learn to change that inclination, if it was at all possible, which again, I don't think it can be changed.
    I'm going to disagree with you on the bolded. And as far as external 'achievement' goes, that's definitely the extrovert's terrain.

    @lume, I don't know that there's a correlation. I've known a number of EXFPs to say that they were shy kids and didn't open up until older. It can be hard to tell, also, when personal trauma is involved. I'd say just live your life and don't worry about it too much. Eventually your preferred cognitive function pattern will reveal itself and it will make sense. And it really doesn't matter all that much, honestly. You are who you are.

  5. #5
    Senior Member lunareclipze's Avatar
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    I think we're born that way. I certainly don't choose to get annoyed when I'm around people for a extended amount of time nor do I choose to need more alone time to function properly than the average person.

    I can act like an extrovert around people I know really well and am comfortable around.

    I think severe trauma can turn an extrovert into an introvert for a period of time though.

    For me as a child I was more of an extrovert than I am now, but still an introvert and most kids I knew growing up remained introverts/extroverts for the time I knew them.

    I think for the most part it is a temperament you're born with but environmental factors and trauma can effect it to some degree as well.
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