I've taken many personality tests and I have gotten mostly ISTJ, sometimes INTP or INTJ, but some things about me don't really fit those profiles so now I'm just confused.
I'm introverted, but I will socialise with people so I don't seem 'weird'. When I change schools, for the first week I will try insanely hard to make friends (even if they are not people I particularly like), just so I get a sense of security and so people don't judge me. The problem with this is a lot of the time I get stuck with 'friends' who either frustrate me or I couldn't care less about them. But I will be 'friends' with them for as long as I need to use them (or until the end of school), and then I have no problems dropping them. The problem is most of these friends actually are under the impression that I like them. I'm really, really good at lying, faking things. I am also very good at reading emotions and how to react in social situations in order to get people to like me. Strangely enough a lot of my fake friends feel like they can talk to me about anything, because I give good advice and I seem to never judge them or make them feel like I pity them. I am so good at faking things that I will give people hugs even when I don't want to, and tell them exactly what they want to hear. I can be a bitch sometimes and have no problem hurting/dropping others (especially if I don't like them), but I always do it sneakily, and I have no problem using fake friends I don't like. I hate conflict and will avoid it at all costs in terms of friendships. If a fake friend pisses me off, I will get back at them sort of passive aggressively and figure out how to hurt them back without even making it seem like I'm doing it on purpose, if that makes sense. So in the end they never actually realise I've hurt them. My friends tend to think I'm mysterious and secretive but non-judgemental and easy to talk to at the same time. I also sometimes appear to be dumber than I am. On the surface I always seem to be a nice person and always tell people what they want to hear.
Generally, people with no common sense or are stupid really frustrate me, but I always appear to be non-judgemental in front of others and can pretty much try to get along with any personality type. I am really tactful and hate it when people are rude or don't take hints well, so I tend to avoid these types of people. My only real friends are people I respect in some way or other, and I would never think of using my real friends, plus they never tend to piss me off as much. I only have a small group of real friends, and none of them are total extroverts. I tend to be real friends with people who are genuinely kind-hearted (even though I'm not). A couple of my friends are great listeners and they are always there for me if I need to vent (about trivial things, not matters that are too personal), and I like some of my other friends because they are intelligent and have a sarcastic sense of humour I find hilarious. So I'm just confused about whether I am a T or F, because I am really good at sensing emotions and I always know what other people want to hear, or what to say to them. When fake friends interact with me, I appear to be a total F, though my real friends know what I am truly like. But at the same time I am not open with my real friends at all and do not share much of my private life or how I feel about it. I don't tell my family anything either. I have played piano for 13 years and I still can't be expressive on it in front of others or enjoy it, sadly enough I only do it so it can be something that I am 'good at'. Strangely enough I do sometimes sympathise with others and really feel bad for people, and sometimes (well, very rarely), I cry in movies, but I can always control my tears. I'm confused because I repeatedly get ISTJ on tests, but it seems that ISTJ's aren't good at sensing emotions and I am generally good at doing that, even if I hide my own emotions really well.
I have always felt the need to follow through on schoolwork and such, but as long as I can remember I have always procrastinated like crazy, which doesn't seem too ISTJ. If a teacher sets a due date, I will hand the task in even if I have to pull an all-nighter for a simple piece of homework. But at the same time I will not start it until the last minute before its due. I hate it when people think I am incapable or lazy, even though I am lazy. Yet hypocritically enough, I loathe teachers who are arrogant, incompetent, lazy or incapable, and I really dislike it when people break promises or don't complete their duties. Yet I have no problem breaking promises or treating my fake friends badly, although I would never dream of doing this to people I respected. Teachers always somehow thought I was extremely hard-working, even though I wasn't. I love to make lists and I have a very particular order I have to do things. If I have to write a research essay, I will research the topic like crazy (for at least 6+ hours) before I can even start on the essay, and even then it will take me like an hour just to write 100 words. I always try my best to have a schedule (and make more lists), but I find it hard to stick to things because of my procrastination. I have major procrastination issues, but I often somehow pull things off at the last minute because I have a good memory, so my grades don't suffer too much even if I am studying for an important exam in the car on the way to school. I zone out very quickly on topics that don't interest me, but I will research topics of interest obsessively sometimes, even if they aren't related to schoolwork.
I am also late quite often to things due to procrastination, but only if I don't look forward to attending (like social gatherings or tutoring sessions). At the same time though, I really hate it when I'm late and I always feel bad about it, even if I can't help it. I also hate it when other people are late to things.
I read that ISTJ's like to follow 'laws' and 'traditions', but I don't really, unless the law or tradition makes logical sense to me. For example, I skipped class quite often in high school, but only if they were classes I knew I would learn absolutely nothing in. I would also never skip class if it was taught by a teacher I respected. I really dislike being told how to learn something in a certain way. I hate also contributing to class discussions, and if a teacher made me do certain work during class, etc, I would never do this unless I thought it was beneficial. Whereas many people in my classes did work exactly as the teacher instructed, regardless of whether it would help them or not. I can never absorb information or learn anything unless I self-learn the week before an exam, or unless it is taught in an engaging manner, so 80% of my classes I learnt absolutely nothing. In terms of traditions, I really don't value them that much, especially if they don't make sense. For example, I always hated the year 12 traditions at my school and thought they were stupid and pointless. I never celebrate or care about things like Christmas or Easter. At my year 12 graduation, I didn't want my family there because I thought it would be pointless for them to attend, but I got really irritated when a teacher told me they were required to attend so that someone could 'celebrate' the special day with me. It's things like that which irritate me to no end because they just don't make sense, I do not need my family there in order to graduate, and I am not close with any of them. I usually only tend to want friend 'support' in certain situations in order to appear like I have friends so others don't judge me. I worry about how others think of me. I really value my independence and I hated the lack of freedom in high school. I only value authority if they deserve my respect, but I tend to act really meek and submissive in front of authority figures anyway, even if I feel like challenging them. I'm a bit of a pushover on the surface, but at the same time I do get back at people passive aggressively when I am infuriated.
I love to plan things, I actually find this relaxing. There is nothing I enjoy more than planning a holiday and working out the exact route of getting from X to Y. I love to make schedules when I'm travelling and I absolutely have to plan everything. I am quite good at map-reading and almost never seem to get lost, and am generally quite sensible. I can usually figure things out in situations quite well. For example, I visited the US and China by myself for the first time when I was 15, and I never got lost or lonely, in fact I loved the challenge of navigating around a new place. I also love travelling alone and walking alone (not sure if this is a personality thing). I also find cleaning my room strangely relaxing, but at the same time my room and desk are insanely messy because I tell myself I cannot start cleaning my room until I have finished all my work, yet at the same time I procrastinate by researching topics that are not related to my work. If I had free time though (and I never do, because the nagging feeling that I have something to work on never goes away), I would love to clean my room and organise things. I am a bit of an impulsive spender sometimes and unfortunately, I don't feel bad or guilty about this. However I only impulse spend if I have money and I am not saving for something particularly important. I am good at controlling my spend when I really need to save. I have a very structured way of doing things and I like the same routine patterns in my everyday life because it makes me feel organised, yet I don't really mind change if it is beneficial.
I love writing (blog posts, journals, creating writing). I'm really good at writing things like complaints and formal emails, because I have to go back and check everything until it is perfect and I can get my point across. Not sure if this has much to do with personality, either.
Sometime I do work really hard because I want a secure and stable future (like with piano, I would practise for hours on end if necessary, even if I hated it and procrastinated beforehand). I have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, but at the same time I'm not that nice or morally good of a person if that makes sense. But if someone does something against me that I view as 'wrong', I will appear ok with them on the surface because I am totally non-confrontational, but inside I will never forgive them and I won't care about how I treat them from then onwards. Another example is I absolutely refuse to buy cosmetics if they are tested on animals because I believe it is wrong, but at the same time I am open to others' opinions (as long as they don't personally impact me), and do not push my views on others, or get offended if they don't share my beliefs.
This is probably a really long and confusing post, but do I seem like an ISTJ or not?