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Ne-doms and Aux's...How Do You Feel About Possibilities?

Redbone

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Ne-doms and aux's come hither! I want to know how you feel about possibilities. Do you like them to be there even if you know you won't choose it? I have a strong need for possibilities to exist even when I know I'm not going to go down that route. I even experience distress (sometimes a great deal) if it's cut off while still knowing that I wasn't going to choose it! It feels kinda silly to have such a strong attachment to this but it's always been there.

I'm assuming this is the power of Ne at work and wanted to hear about your experiences.

I can't think of any particular examples of this right now but I think you get it.
 

hjgbujhghg

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Oh I know what you're talking about! Everytime I need to feel like my options are not closed, the enviroment I live in is not closed and everytime there exists something more, than just what I am able to see and also something that I could possible choose, or use an escape in a case of boredem. Feeling like their is no possibility, only one, for me is the same, like when a person with claostrophobia is in small closed room.
 

Lady_X

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Yes absolutely need to have possibilities. It's like the air that I breathe. Closed doors and situations with zero potential just make me feel like I'm already dead. I know everything that will be so why take the next step if that step is just like the last and the thousand that follow.
 

pinkgraffiti

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The possibilities are in my head. I like to think that what i imagine in my head has space to be achievable in the real world. I need to feel like i could be free to do whatever i imagine, and that i am in control and not restrained by limited conditions in the external world.

However, I tend to also doubt what I have, which is a main weak point for me: after i take a decision or a path in my life i tend to reflect upon my past decisions and my imagination is big enough to perpetually question everything, from a career decision, to breaking up with an old boyfriend, to choosing a certain place to live in, etc, i tend to imagine what would happen if i'd chosen something else, how my life would be different etc.

Also, since my mind is often in full throttle, i tend to crave (often i feel it physically and i have difficulty reading the signs) some stability in my external world in the things i can't control (is that Si?)
 

Avocado

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Yes absolutely need to have possibilities. It's like the air that I breathe. Closed doors and situations with zero potential just make me feel like I'm already dead. I know everything that will be so why take the next step if that step is just like the last and the thousand that follow.

I am like that when I have to force myself to do dull, repetitive tasks...
 

skylights

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I think 6 influences me a little, in terms of tending to choose one likely possibility and then flesh out subsequent possibilities based on it.

So for example last night I had this mental plan that me and my boyfriend would sleep at our apartment last night wake up late this morning, go get brunch, go over to my parents', and hang out there for a while before my parents left for a party... maybe I'd watch my favorite TV show and we'd get pizza and so on... Well, turned out that we ended up both falling asleep on the couch at my parents' the night before so that whole plan was cut off at its root. I have a hard time not feeling upset when that happens, even though the day is technically still wide open - with most of those possibilities still available! - because it destroyed the optimization of possibilities in my head.

I do sometimes feel the same odd displeasure if an option is removed even though it wasn't something I wanted. In general things narrowing down not in the way I envisioned makes me uneasy!
 

Avocado

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I think 6 influences me a little, in terms of tending to choose one likely possibility and then flesh out subsequent possibilities based on it.

So for example last night I had this mental plan that me and my boyfriend would sleep at our apartment last night wake up late this morning, go get brunch, go over to my parents', and hang out there for a while before my parents left for a party... maybe I'd watch my favorite TV show and we'd get pizza and so on... Well, turned out that we ended up both falling asleep on the couch at my parents' the night before so that whole plan was cut off at its root. I have a hard time not feeling upset when that happens, even though the day is technically still wide open - with most of those possibilities still available! - because it destroyed the optimization of possibilities in my head.

I do sometimes feel the same odd displeasure if an option is removed even though it wasn't something I wanted. In general things narrowing down not in the way I envisioned makes me uneasy!

Makes sense...
Less possibilities...
I often have regrets I never tried the option, too...
 

skylights

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Makes sense...
Less possibilities...
I often have regrets I never tried the option, too...

Ohh yes, I had this huge period from like early teens to late teens where I SO felt this, all the time. My sophomore year of college I kind of went all out - had an ESTP 7w8 sx/so best friend who totally rocked my world - and she really helped me to open up a lot and just go for it, even to the point of maybe-not-the-best-idea. I'm not immune from it now of course but I'm a lot better about it than I was. I also think my Ne-seeking has calmed down a little and I feel less like I'm missing out on things all the time if I don't do a little of everything. The 7 still totally shows up like I mentioned before, but not as much in this way anymore. I feel like I'm getting a little better at honing in on what I want and what's important and what kind of stimulation I really want versus what would be okay to skip.
 

Avocado

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Ohh yes, I had this huge period from like early teens to late teens where I SO felt this, all the time. My sophomore year of college I kind of went all out - had an ESTP 7w8 sx/so best friend who totally rocked my world - and she really helped me to open up a lot and just go for it, even to the point of maybe-not-the-best-idea. I'm not immune from it now of course but I'm a lot better about it than I was. I also think my Ne-seeking has calmed down a little and I feel less like I'm missing out on things all the time if I don't do a little of everything. The 7 still totally shows up like I mentioned before, but not as much in this way anymore. I feel like I'm getting a little better at honing in on what I want and what's important and what kind of stimulation I really want versus what would be okay to skip.
The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.​
-Robert Frost​
 

skylights

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^ Indeed... always the memory of what might have been... and justification for what we chose...

I'm so fascinated by the idea that the person who makes a certain choice is no longer the person they were before making that choice. So you can effectively never return to that decision again... nor is there any guarantee that you, now, would have liked the other option better, because you now is not you before. I feel like my challenge in life is learning how to just be happy and not question my choices so much!

It's kind of paradoxical in terms of possibility because on one hand, I like having lots of possibilities, but on the other hand, I like knowing that things will turn out well and I don't always like what feels like the heavy burden of choice. I used to try to choose a little of everything to solve that problem... but now I am trying more to focus on the possibilities within each choice as well as immersing myself in the environment/atmosphere of the choice and enjoying it in sort of a Fi/Si way.
 

Redbone

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I'm so fascinated by the idea that the person who makes a certain choice is no longer the person they were before making that choice. So you can effectively never return to that decision again... nor is there any guarantee that you, now, would have liked the other option better, because you now is not you before. I feel like my challenge in life is learning how to just be happy and not question my choices so much!

It's kind of paradoxical in terms of possibility because on one hand, I like having lots of possibilities, but on the other hand, I like knowing that things will turn out well and I don't always like what feels like the heavy burden of choice. I used to try to choose a little of everything to solve that problem... but now I am trying more to focus on the possibilities within each choice as well as immersing myself in the environment/atmosphere of the choice and enjoying it in sort of a Fi/Si way.

Pruning possibilities is incredibly stressful for me. I hate cutting it off and saying, "No this isn't possible." I'm good at coming up with ways to make it possible (even if I'm just doing this in my head) that putting it down is depressing. The worst years of my life are when I stopped considering the possibilities and just shut down and resigned myself to being where I was (this happened slowly over time). I didn't realize that it meant so much to me.

I find it funny that the possibility is THE thing I want...having choices makes me feel good. Collecting them, musing on them, dreaming about them is very pleasant for me. They're like flowers that I don't want to see die...even if it's not my favorite one. :blush: Or riches. But of course, I have to cope...can't have cake and eat it, too.
 

Avocado

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^ Indeed... always the memory of what might have been... and justification for what we chose...

I'm so fascinated by the idea that the person who makes a certain choice is no longer the person they were before making that choice. So you can effectively never return to that decision again... nor is there any guarantee that you, now, would have liked the other option better, because you now is not you before. I feel like my challenge in life is learning how to just be happy and not question my choices so much!

It's kind of paradoxical in terms of possibility because on one hand, I like having lots of possibilities, but on the other hand, I like knowing that things will turn out well and I don't always like what feels like the heavy burden of choice. I used to try to choose a little of everything to solve that problem... but now I am trying more to focus on the possibilities within each choice as well as immersing myself in the environment/atmosphere of the choice and enjoying it in sort of a Fi/Si way.

I agree...
I especially hated it when my mother jerked me out of the animation class I plunged into.
I had no previous knowledge of it, but my instructor said it looked like I had been doing it professionally for decades and that I had a real future in it...
I got enough experience to know it's something I'd like to learn more about, but I regret the potential memories I've lost...
That one was on my mom, though...
I made a good choice there, and she pulled me out because she wanted me to do study hall so I wouldn't have homework...
Study hall was boring, and I didn't mind having homework after school, anyway...
 

skylights

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The worst years of my life are when I stopped considering the possibilities and just shut down and resigned myself to being where I was (this happened slowly over time). I didn't realize that it meant so much to me.

Totally an interesting difference between Ne aux and dom, I think, if I correctly remember you identifying as INTP. I'm usually fine at figuring out how to escape the box, but I have to be so careful not to get to lost in the possibilities. For me the worst is when I fall prey to endlessly wandering in the delight of possibility and slowly watching paths fade because I fail to choose.

They're like flowers that I don't want to see die...even if it's not my favorite one. :blush:

I know what you mean. :( :hug:

Magic Qwan said:
I agree...
I especially hated it when my mother jerked me out of the animation class I plunged into.
I had no previous knowledge of it, but my instructor said it looked like I had been doing it professionally for decades and that I had a real future in it...
I got enough experience to know it's something I'd like to learn more about, but I regret the potential memories I've lost...
That one was on my mom, though...
I made a good choice there, and she pulled me out because she wanted me to do study hall so I wouldn't have homework...
Study hall was boring, and I didn't mind having homework after school, anyway...

Ohh, yes, nothing like someone else pruning your possibilities for you against your will. :( :hug:
 

Such Irony

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Ne-doms and aux's come hither! I want to know how you feel about possibilities. Do you like them to be there even if you know you won't choose it? I have a strong need for possibilities to exist even when I know I'm not going to go down that route. I even experience distress (sometimes a great deal) if it's cut off while still knowing that I wasn't going to choose it! It feels kinda silly to have such a strong attachment to this but it's always been there.

I can totally relate to this.
 

Amargith

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Yup. They are like my fall back options, after all. I do notice that once Ive chosen, I'll occasionally rebel, go back to the other options, but it fades..I visit them less and less, till Im completely sure about my choice and then I have no problem saying goodbye to them. But I need time to revisit and grieve :D
 

Betty Blue

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Ne-doms and aux's come hither! I want to know how you feel about possibilities. Do you like them to be there even if you know you won't choose it? I have a strong need for possibilities to exist even when I know I'm not going to go down that route. I even experience distress (sometimes a great deal) if it's cut off while still knowing that I wasn't going to choose it! It feels kinda silly to have such a strong attachment to this but it's always been there.

I'm assuming this is the power of Ne at work and wanted to hear about your experiences.

I can't think of any particular examples of this right now but I think you get it.


Yes i like to have the option, even if I am not currently using an option I still like to be able to think on it, I suppose in that way I am still using it. I enjoy researching all sorts of possibilities and then maybe honing in on one or two, holding many others in the wing.

Taking away my possibilities is like clipping my wings... I won't be able to fly. :(
 

Samvega

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Yes, I would go mad without options because I need them and the ability to explore them to learn, grow, problem solve and devise evil plans (which I can't follow through on due to the lack of options choosing that path would create)!!
 

Avocado

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Yup. They are like my fall back options, after all. I do notice that once Ive chosen, I'll occasionally rebel, go back to the other options, but it fades..I visit them less and less, till Im completely sure about my choice and then I have no problem saying goodbye to them. But I need time to revisit and grieve :D

And that is why I hate time limits…
 
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