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  1. #21
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?

    Depends what you mean by alone time. Actual alone time is probably a few hours each day because I get home from work before my partner does. But I spend a lot of time just hanging out with him while we each do our own thing in companiable silence (he's another introvert). I rarely find that draining, although I do enjoy having a bit of complete alone time.

    What does the required amount depend on?

    If I've overdosed on human contact (eg being at an all day meeting at work where I've had to do a lot of talking during the meeting and socialising/networking during the breaks) then I need a lot of down time to recharge. Also, going away on vacation with a group of people can be quite draining and I usually need to go on short walks by myself, or just with my partner, during the vacation to have a break from all the people. It also depends on how extraverted the people are. Extreme extraverts with loud voices and who never STFU are way more draining than low-key extraverts and other introverts. I also need alone time after I've been in crowds, like at festivals or a crowded mall.

    What do you do when you are alone?

    I usually go online or potter around the house. Online interactions are much less draining than RL contact.

    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?

    Occasionally yes. A week without contact with anyone is too long but a couple of days is fine.
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  2. #22
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leysing View Post
    Just for comparison.

    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?
    What does the required amount depend on?
    What do you do when you are alone?
    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?
    Hmm...don't know how to answer this!

    Until last August, I lived alone for 4 yrs, so I was truly alone probably at least 4 days a week, if not more -- of course not counting while I was at work, where I got some interaction.

    Now, I'm not exactly alone, as I live with my brother, so there's always someone in the next room to chat with if I want. But we're both introverts, so we always do our own things anyway, except when we play board games - but even that is pretty introverted! ha! When I'm by myself, I'll read, listen to music (in which case I'm just musing and daydreaming), watch tv, do stuff on the internet, paint, journal, or go out for long walks or hikes.

    My 'been alone too long' limit is about 48 hours without having any human contact. This is something I've kinda figured out over time. I'm usually quite content the first day if I don't have anything going on, but by the end of the second day, I usually get incredibly lonely and am tired of just myself and my thoughts. And beyond 2 days, I think it gets to be unhealthy for me. I crave human connections by that point, and at least for me, too much introverting can be a bad thing.

    It's funny, not getting enough alone time was a big concern of mine prior to going on a trip last year with two of my friends. I was worried that being with them constantly for 11 days would be too much for me. But I found that it didn't phase me at all. I WAS with them for almost the entire time (we each did our own thing a couple of mornings, but that was it), but it wasn't tiring. Pretty much as long as I'm not expected to be an active participant in a conversation, and as long as I can just wander off on my own on occasion, or at the very least space out for a while even while part of a group....that does it for me. I can 'escape' to my inner world whenever, I guess. But, I guess that only works if the people you are with are 'ok' with that, accept it, and give you that space, even if it's not so much physical space as emotional space.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #23
    Senior Member Ishida's Avatar
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    How much time do you have to spend alone?
    Quite a bit of time. I'd say about 3-4 hours. I don't feel the draining effects of socializing while doing it usually, it comes after and usually I can deal with it healthily.
    How frequently?
    A little less right now since I have a job, but during the school year, I spend 2/3rds the day alone if I have no martial arts classes. I don't really consider classes socializing, since if we're not learning I'm off by myself, and I can be 'alone' in a crowd so long as nobody bothers me.
    What does the required amount depend on?
    What I have to do that day.
    What do you do when you are alone?
    Practice with weapons, think, listen to music, and browse the internet.
    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?
    I'm ashamed to admit this for some reason, but yes.
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  4. #24
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?

    A good amount, I'd say it's probably a ratio of 3 hours alone for every 8 hours with people. (aka a day of work/school) That can be met in various ways...the evenings, a day of the weekend, whatever.

    What does the required amount depend on?

    Who and how many people I was with before. If I just spent a day having to deal with a bunch of people I don't exactly enjoy the company of, I'm going to want a lot of time. If I spent the day skiing with a friend or something, I don't need much/any time.

    What do you do when you are alone?

    Whatever I want....if I'm alone it means that I am basically free to do (or not do), what I feel like doing without having to be concerned with if another person will want to do that, or if I need to have something finished by a certain time, it's entirely up to me. Sometimes that means going and working on a project I've got going. Currently, I'm repairing an old motorcycle (1980 Honda), and I spent 2.5 hours doing that this evening. (Got the engine running, now I need to do brakes) Other times, it may mean just going and browsing the net or watching TV.

    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?


    Maybe, when I need my "alone time", that's my goal...to find a way to do that. After that's satisfied, I'm open to social interaction again. However, I don't find that I "need" to see/interact with people, although after a while (weeks), I become more inclined to go out of my way to seek social activity.
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  5. #25
    Senior Member FallsPioneer's Avatar
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    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?

    An hour a day keeps the moodiness at bay. I don't need more than that.

    What does the required amount depend on?

    How agitated I get. Nowadays I don't rent space in my mind to the things that piss me off like I used to, so I only need a lot of time if I'm really pissed.

    What do you do when you are alone?

    Listen to my iPod most of the time. Because usually when I listen to music or my iPod I really turn the volume up (rawk on dude), but some people still try to have a conversation with me, even after I've said that I'm trying to listen ("But I'M trying to talk to you!"). I can't experience my music unless it's loud...my softer music is a different story, but the picture's clear.

    I also do any other thing that I might do with other people around: eat, sleep, inspect the carpet while attempting to comprehend the complexities of life, and take a crap. Even write in my journal, but nobody gets to look at that.

    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?

    Oh yeah. It doesn't happen much anymore, but that's one of the most miserable feelings ever. I never go one day without social interaction, unless I feel really bummed.
    Still using a needle to break apart a grain of sand.

  6. #26
    Senior Member TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leysing View Post
    Just for comparison.

    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?
    What does the required amount depend on?
    What do you do when you are alone?
    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?
    Voluntarily or involuntarily? By situation, pretty much the only time I'm NOT alone is at work, during commute home (even then I'm sometimes alone if I walk) and when friends call for weekend activities, so most of my freetime (non-work stuff) is usually spent alone. and on a nearly daily basis I do feel like I've been alone too long.

    Now to what I interpret as the intent of your question, how much time alone time would I need/want to recharge on a daily basis. I'd say 1-3 hours of alone time on weekdays and one full (or mostly full) weekend day every 2-3 weeks to do what I want is what I'm most comfortable with.

    If I've spent time with people that I don't like talking to, then I need more alone time to recover (if I've had a bad day, I may prefer not to be bothered at all until the following day), and if I've been with friends that I enjoy talking to and spending time with, then I still need some alone time to process my thoughts and such without interference, but an half hour to an hour or so before sleep is usually enough in that case.

    The needed alone time is to think about things that are important to me and reflect on recent events and consider future possibilities (reflection and daydreaming/attempting lucid dreaming/meditation etc.). The alone time thats desired but not as essential is reading, playing video games, listening to music and being on-line. Stuff like movies and television I would usually prefer to have company for, but do alone when thats not an option.

    A normal good routine for my afterwork freetime would be 1-3 with friends/family eating dinner and watching tv or a movie and 0.5 to 3 hours of alone time then goto sleep.
    Last edited by TenebrousReflection; 07-11-2008 at 08:56 PM. Reason: minor edit to clarify somethign specific but probably unimportant

  7. #27
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?

    A lot, usually, and quite often. Most of the time I'll shut myself up in my bedroom when I get home from wherever I was. On days where I don't need to be anywhere, however, I'm usually more inclined to be social.

    What does the required amount depend on?

    How tired I am and how much time I've spent in public that day. Boredom also factors into it somehow.

    What do you do when you are alone?

    Read, write, paint, draw, watch TV/movies, play video games, piano, plot world domination, etc.

    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?

    Not really. For me, becoming lonely isn't something that happens easily.
    [insert funny quote/saying/etc.]

  8. #28
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    How much time do you have to spend alone? How frequently?
    Everyday, and 'how much', varies.

    What do you do when you are alone?
    Read, play games, visit forums, watch anime, & exercise.

    Do you ever feel you have been alone too long?
    No

  9. #29
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I was thinking about this topic again while I was driving today and something occurred to me. When I was married, after a day at work, I would sometimes take off driving, just a little out of town, before I'd go home. My ENFP wife was hurt by that sometimes, that I didn't come home and pick her and the baby up first so they could go with me. I loved when they came with me, but sometimes I just didn't feel like going home first, I guess I needed to drive alone a bit to sort of collect myself before going home. She didn't really understand that, and I guess I didn't entirely understand it either.
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  10. #30
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    For warm, reflective insight.
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    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

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