(new post, but I don't want to clog the thread.)
Also, on a personal note I find these simple rules (in order) help people communicate with me:
1. Don't criticise or be condescending to me, my opinions or my beliefs (Trust me on this, it's a minefield).
2. If your criticism is quickly followed by an attempt to backtrack I'll know you didn't mean it the way you said it. Build it to be constructive rather than detrimental and I'll appreciate it as concern rather than malice.
3. Don't butter me up before hand. I'll read you like a book and redirect the conversation so fast you'll forget what you came to me for in the first place.
4. Give me time to process the information, don't pester me for an out come, I need to reach consensus with my other selves. Expect me not to talk with you for a few days (not out of anger, I view you as a symbol of the conversation and I feel pressured when I see you before I have a resolve).