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  1. #141
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    A lot of Fi users do seem to demand a positive attitude, and place a lot of importance on the optimism of those surrounding them. Is that inaccurate?
    yes, that's innacurate. i find that as you go down the strength of the function (from dominant to aux to third to inferior), the less you understand and the more critical you are of it's opposite function. ie: inferior Fe-users like yourself seem to be overly critical of a function they dont understand, Fi.

    i saw a cool video by the NFGeeks guy that argued that the introverted functions are the functions you listen with, and the extroverted functions the functions you talk through. in that sense, Fi users are listening through their feelings, so you can imagine that they are more sensitive to the feelings that get thrown at them. but they don't shape their environment through them, ie. Fi is not a function you communicate through (for that, we would use Te). so we are less likely to want to organise the feeling situation of our environment - in the way that Fe users do. instead, we respect that each person as their own feelings space and try to not interfere with it. this has been overly discussed since the first page of this thread.
    so i feel that you got us mixed up there, or at least i feel like what you are saying is true of Fe users, not us.

    btw:

  2. #142
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    i saw a cool video by the NFGeeks guy that argued that the introverted functions are the functions you listen with, and the extroverted functions the functions you talk through.
    cool! i like that way of thinking of it.
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  3. #143
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i wonder maybe if he has experienced a fi user taking his bad mood personally before tho? because if it's just the two of you i think we can/might sometimes. in a group setting we wouldn't be upset that someone is putting their bad mood out there. we'd feel it's theirs. they're entitled to it and it doesn't have anything to do with "me"

    but just you two...and you're quietly kind of pissy and not being so nice to me? yeah i'm going to think you're upset with me for some reason. but if you said hey babe...i'm in a pissy mood..has nothing to do with you but i appologize if it seems that way..then we're good and i will leave you alone if that's what you want or if we know you well enough to know that you appreciate being cheered up then we'll do that too.
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  4. #144
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post

    but just you two...and you're quietly kind of pissy and not being so nice to me? yeah i'm going to think you're upset with me for some reason. but if you said hey babe...i'm in a pissy mood..has nothing to do with you but i appologize if it seems that way..then we're good and i will leave you alone if that's what you want or if we know you well enough to know that you appreciate being cheered up then we'll do that too.
    Well, it's come up largely with romantic partners or family members who are FPs. So it is just the two of us. A large part of the objection is to my worldview being too detached and cynical. I freely talk about things I dislike about my environment, and they seem to find that objectionable, even though they do the same thing. It annoys me, because when they do it, I would never say something useless to them like "try and find the silver lining."

    I want either solutions to what ever is bothering me, or information I'm missing, or distractions. Telling me to "feel happier"... why do FPs think that's an appropriate response? Half the time I think they mistake being detached for being unhappy, anyway.


    I can't see IXFJs saying something like that. Not sure what the Fe doms do.... they seem to object more to me holding myself apart from the group, which I honestly think is a much more valid criticism. I get really angry when people tell me how my unhappiness or even aloofness is making them feel unhappy.

    I understand if you absorb that... it sometimes happens to me, and probably everyone, but I think it's obnoxious to go up to someone and say "You know, you gotta stop feeling differently about things than I do. It's totally selfish." If you're going to go up to someone, with that, offer new data, distractions, or ways to fix the problem.

    Don't go in and make the problem worse by pressuring the person to act more "enthusiatic" or "smile more" or demonstrate more "love of life." The worst thing someone can do to me in a relationship is take away my right to feel angry or have "negative" emotions. I don't owe them a smile.

    The FPs in question seem to understand that it's not about them. They're usually objecting to me attitude towards other things.
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  5. #145
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Well, it's come up largely with romantic partners or family members who are FPs. So it is just the two of us. A large part of the objection is to my worldview being too detached and cynical. I freely talk about things I dislike about my environment, and they seem to find that objectionable, even though they do the same thing. It annoys me, because when they do it, I would never say something useless to them like "try and find the silver lining."

    I want either solutions to what ever is bothering me, or information I'm missing, or distractions. Telling me to "feel happier"... why do FPs think that's an appropriate response? Half the time I think they mistake being detached for being unhappy, anyway.


    I can't see IXFJs saying something like that. Not sure what the Fe doms do.... they seem to object more to me holding myself apart from the group, which I honestly think is a much more valid criticism. I get really angry when people tell me how my unhappiness or even aloofness is making [i]them[i/] feel unhappy.

    I understand if you absorb that... it sometimes happens to me, and probably everyone, but I think it's obnoxious to go up to someone and say "You know, you gotta stop feeling differently about things than I do. It's totally selfish." If you're going to go up to someone, with that, offer new data, distractions, or ways to fix the problem. Don't go in and make the problem worse by pressuring the person to act more "enthusiatic"or "smile more" or demonstrate more "love of life."
    that's just incompatibility playing out. she probably felt as tho you were rejecting something that defined her....in a sense rejecting or devaluing her. even if you don't feel the same way she needed you to appreciate the view because to her it's part of her foundation and by not placing importance on or respecting that you are saying i don't see you...or don't want to see this part of you....and that's simply not good enough.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  6. #146
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    Honestly as a supposedly "Fe user" if we subscribe for the sake of argument to this particular world-view: nothing offends me, but I hate indirect put-downs from other guys who feel insecure, that kind of "backhanded compliment" tactic. I know those tactics like the back of my hand and learnt all that shit from front to back cover. Don't try to steal from a thief mother-lovers!

    I usually try to walk away and treat them with contempt, or treat with fake domineering "friendliness". Anything other than engage with the negative energy field.

  7. #147
    Stansmith
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    Would a Nazi Officer who decides to secretly help one Jew on a whim (bringing him food and giving him shelter) be Fi, or Fe?

  8. #148
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    Would a Nazi Officer who decides to secretly help one Jew on a whim (bringing him food and giving him shelter) be Fi, or Fe?
    haha umm that's a weird ish question. i think it could be either. they could both have different reasons for being an officer in the first place. maybe they're just doing it to protect themselves or their family. mmaybe they thought they were doing the right thing to begin with but then someone appealed to their humanity and they then had to do what they thought was right...for this one person...in this one way.

    i think we can all make similar decisions but the processing involved to get there is different.
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  9. #149
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I don't like it when people are talking down to me or like I am an idiot. Yes, we all do idiotic things sometimes. That doesn't mean we are idiots...

    I don't know if that is Fe-Fi though.
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  10. #150
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    I don't like it when people are talking down to me or like I am an idiot. Yes, we all do idiotic things sometimes. That doesn't mean we are idiots...

    I don't know if that is Fe-Fi though.
    i think that's being not a te dom aux haha i think their tone can often come across like that.

    and i've been guilty of it too when my patience has worn out.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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