Ghost of the dead horse
filling some space
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 3,553
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
I'm studying to become engineer. The habit of doing plans and designing things collaboratively has become my natural habit. I've learned to do my work with less collaborating clients. Given this background, sometimes the lack of collaboration astonishes me in private settings. People who would never be my client go around in ways that would be impossible to tolerate in any setting that involves working by the best practices, healthy argumentation or working towards the common goal.
Some of these unhealthy settings include verbal exchange such as ..
-THere's no our goal, there's my goal, and you are the chief individual of fulfilling that goal, NOW
-Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes. MMh. (nodding while listening) (Pause) Well all that aside, just go now and do it the way I want. (gives the look as if discussion has ended)
-You always want those things! Why don't you think of things my way? My way! I'm a person too. I don't have all those fancy "explanations" and "evidence" and such. Your love for me will mean that you do things exactly as I say and I don't have to listen to you in any way.
-What do you think we should do to our home? -take out the garbage.
So.. is there any way around a person who doesn't see or adhere to techniques in collaboration in private settings? As in, they consistently adhere to tactics that elicit the minimum amount of co-operation possible? I'm not the underdog here so I don't need advice for survival. If there's any hassle, I'll be the one who survives. My question is more of eliciting more co-operation from a person who can benefit from it when I can benefit from it too, in cases where that said co-operation involves the examination of evidence and our discussion about it, and contemplation of our goals and methods. In other words, speaking.
Some of these unhealthy settings include verbal exchange such as ..
-THere's no our goal, there's my goal, and you are the chief individual of fulfilling that goal, NOW
-Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes. MMh. (nodding while listening) (Pause) Well all that aside, just go now and do it the way I want. (gives the look as if discussion has ended)
-You always want those things! Why don't you think of things my way? My way! I'm a person too. I don't have all those fancy "explanations" and "evidence" and such. Your love for me will mean that you do things exactly as I say and I don't have to listen to you in any way.
-What do you think we should do to our home? -take out the garbage.
So.. is there any way around a person who doesn't see or adhere to techniques in collaboration in private settings? As in, they consistently adhere to tactics that elicit the minimum amount of co-operation possible? I'm not the underdog here so I don't need advice for survival. If there's any hassle, I'll be the one who survives. My question is more of eliciting more co-operation from a person who can benefit from it when I can benefit from it too, in cases where that said co-operation involves the examination of evidence and our discussion about it, and contemplation of our goals and methods. In other words, speaking.
